NZLD
December 15th, 2012, 07:44 PM
I'm 16 and i live in new zealand. I'm almost adamant i have some sort of mental disorder and it seems bipolar is the most likely or accurate. So for the past couple of years i have been getting quite deeply depressed. I cut myself occasionally to help me cope. but i can also go form depressed to really manic, at 11pm i may feel like suddenly getting out of bed and catching the train to a friends house out of know where, which i have done plenty of times before. I can go from being normal and civil to extremely frustrated and angry so much to the point where i cant control my temper and do regretful things. People can annoy me so much to the point where i want to scream and whack my head against a wall. I barely ever sleep, and stay awake for up to 30 hours at a time and stay awake through the night pretty much every time. Its getting hard to cope with my moods being so erratic and deep and it has consequently really effected my social life. It is so bad that when ever i meet or come in to contact with people i am not very familiar with i get extremely anxious and hide away in my shell and don't talk which makes me look really foolish. I also have nightmares of people close to me dying in some sort of stressful epidemic nearly every night and i don't know why, sometimes i can feel things touching me and when i hear bangs outside or in the house i get EXTREMELY startled and anxious and my heart thumps uncontrollably. So i pretty much right all of my mental issues in the hopes that someone hear has any idea what i have and if i do what actions i can take to prevent and overcome it. No trolls please because this is really effecting my life and i can't take it much longer