Do you want to stop?

[SevenHells]

Lately I've been cutting more and more (my arms and wrists), because I've been really down lately. But what I've noticed is I don't think I want to stop? Does anyone else feel like this? It's like the pain has become a part of me

[Harley Quinn]

I have 'stopped' technically speaking. By that I mean it isn't a constant everyday thing that used to take place. It's more, when and if I personally feel I need to hurt myself in one way or another. Thing is, I used to never want to stop, but I don't remember what stopped me but I'm grateful it did. It's like with smoking, some people want to stop, some don't because they have an attachment and receive enjoyment out of it, it's a personal thing and everyone is different.

[Disasterology]

Feel the exact same way! Its like a daily thing now.

[that-god-chick]

i kinda want to stop because i hate the scars and i hate that if i kids i will have to explain it to them... but then again there is a part of me that doesnt want to stop because its been apart of my life for so long...

[xarvon1412]

I don't want to stop. It's just become a part of me, another piece of my screwed up life. I know it sounds wrong, but I the only reason I would want to stop is that I don't want people to see them...

[tubanic]

I feel that way. The guilt that you're getting pleasure out of something that is wrong drives you insane.

[ackmedsgirl666]

i get the odd urge sometimes but i try and ignore it
if i get too overwhelmed then yes i do sometimes slip up.

[Megson]

I don't want to. But I know that I HAVE to. I loved the scars and the feeling of cutting. I even liked the pain that came later when the cuts started healing.

But I know that self-harm isn't really helping me in the long run. I couldn't keep doing it, because I knew I was going to regret it when the scars took over my body. For now, I'm a little over a month clean, but I can't say for sure that it will last forever.

[Shinosan]

It's like masturbating, is something that makes you feel good, but it's something that might now be good... Am i wrong? Well i dont cut my self but i think i know what you mean that is hard to stop doing something that your not supose to do.

[Fallen Angels]

Yes and no. But, I'm trying to to quit because I realize it hurts people around me.

[SevenHells]

I don't want to. But I know that I HAVE to. I loved the scars and the feeling of cutting. I even liked the pain that came later when the cuts started healing.

But I know that self-harm isn't really helping me in the long run. I couldn't keep doing it, because I knew I was going to regret it when the scars took over my body. For now, I'm a little over a month clean, but I can't say for sure that it will last forever.

Yeah this is exactly how I feel but it's like we're all living in the short-term anyway? No?

[LitBlackRose]

Well for me I want to but I don't want to .it is like a part of me but I hate explaining to people. I don't cut everyday but I do most of the time. I don't want to but I don't like seeing the scars sometimes I do like them . Idk

[NZLD]

I know exactly what you mean, i don't want to stop and don't feel i need to. Im cutting in a place no one can see and it helps me get over feeling depressed and empty, so for me its something i will continue doing ~ although i know i shouldn't

[Fiction]

I have stopped but I thought for years that I didn't want to stop and I still have days like that every so often where I just want to start all over again.

I saw it as a safety net, and an easy way to get rid of thoughts and feelings quickly, and I wanted to keep being able to have that. Eventually though I think you just realise that it doesn't actually help any of your problems, and then you stop. That's not saying it's easy.

[RakshaMalayka]

I know exactly what you mean. I started quite a while back and I kept saying I wanted to stop. The thing is I really didn't. Truthfully every time I end up falling back into it, I don't want to stop because it's a part of me and I control it. A messed up life with a girl who's equally messed up. But I think about if I didn't stop what would happen. It kills the people I care about to see me like this, I make it easier for my friends to give in, and honestly I want to have a future. If I don't get better and give into letting the cuts get deeper, there's no guarantee that I'll see a future. L'amore che muove il sol e l'altre stelle. That is what I write around my wrist every time I try to stop because I do have my hopes to find something like that one day, but I have to live long enough to find it.

[Desuetude]

I don't want to. I know I'm meant to and my parents think I already have but I'm really not up for adding another thing to stress me out onto the already filled list. I'll just let urges control me for the time being, sort that crap out when I can deal with it.

[gentletrees]

I don't really want to stop. I can't remember what it's like not being sad. If I stop it means I have to heal and that's so scary.

[galacticlullaby]

I guess you could say that I've 'stopped', however I can't say that I want to.

[Love.Hate]

I have 'stopped' technically speaking. By that I mean it isn't a constant everyday thing that used to take place. It's more, when and if I personally feel I need to hurt myself in one way or another. Thing is, I used to never want to stop, but I don't remember what stopped me but I'm grateful it did. It's like with smoking, some people want to stop, some don't because they have an attachment and receive enjoyment out of it, it's a personal thing and everyone is different.

This basically.

I have stopped without wanting too really, It has just naturally faded out of my life. I will always have it in the back of my mind and crave it somewhat, but I have never intentionally said to myself that I wanted to stop.

[Shade]

The logical part of my mind is telling me to stop, and I know I really want to. But this is an addiction and each time I fall further, I also crave it more. Right now, I know I'm going to have a tough time getting out of this pit I'm in, but when things are better again it will only strengthen my resolve to last longer without the pain.

Being let down is a great trigger, though, and I can relate. I was supposed to see my dad- who I haven't seen for three years, now- but he never contacted me and now the opportunity is gone. Cutting relieves the intense feelings of disappointment, but in the long run it's only going to make things worse...easier to say, than to realize the truth in that, though.

I hope you manage to 'break the chain' and find healthier ways to deal with difficult situations. It's something that shouldn't control us. Feeling forced to hide the scars, loathing ourselves for what we've done, and purposely causing pain just to escape the realities of life...well, it's not worth it. I hope I can learn to let go of this addiction, and I hope at least some of us can stop letting it control how we live.