I feel so off...

[qwertygirl]

Lately I've been feeling weird. Like I need to be in a mental hospital weird. I talk to myself non-stop as if I'm in a completely fantastic and vivid world with characters that I hold near and dear to my heart. I also never leave my room, unless my mom forces me to. I have random breakdowns probably once a week now, and I have been trying not to cut for so long, even though I know it wouldn't solve shit. I feel numb, and then i feel everything, and I don't know what to do about that. Can someone help me? I wish I could say that I hate feeling this way but I kind of want to, so that I have an actual reason to act like the total monster I am.

[tubanic]

Are you able to see that the characters you talk to are not real? Or do they seem really real? Are they telling you to do things, or just chatting to you?
I hate leaving my house and much prefer the company of my ghost friends than anyone here. I understand when you say you kind of want to feel like this, but try to want to be happier. It's so much better than feeling down. Don't want to punish yourself, you've done nothing wrong.
You should get checked out by a doctor, and take it from there. Don't feel bad about it, they are there to help. Tell them everything that's wrong. All of it.
Breakdowns are bad. Shout to your family or call a help-line if you feel like cutting or killing yourself. Hope you're ok :)

[qwertygirl]

Are you able to see that the characters you talk to are not real? Or do they seem really real? Are they telling you to do things, or just chatting to you?
I hate leaving my house and much prefer the company of my ghost friends than anyone here. I understand when you say you kind of want to feel like this, but try to want to be happier. It's so much better than feeling down. Don't want to punish yourself, you've done nothing wrong.
You should get checked out by a doctor, and take it from there. Don't feel bad about it, they are there to help. Tell them everything that's wrong. All of it.
Breakdowns are bad. Shout to your family or call a help-line if you feel like cutting or killing yourself. Hope you're ok :)

No, the people have no idea I exist. They only talk to each other, like I'm watching a movie constantly in my head. I've tried writing out what they say, and so far I only have barely one part of my "world". I post it online and people actually read it. I would love to share the entire "world" with people but it takes soooo long :/ and yeah I would leave my room maybe 2-3 times a day if I could, I hate being around people while I'm at home. I literally feel naked when my mom makes me open the door. It causes me stress, because I can't talk to myself in peace. I really need help

[tubanic]

So it's just like watching a film. How many different characters/scenarios are there? And you can tell that your world is not real, so you aren't hallucinating?
You should seek help. Do your parents know about this? Will they let you see a psychairtrist?
You can get through this. I'll be rooting for you :)

[qwertygirl]

So it's just like watching a film. How many different characters/scenarios are there? And you can tell that your world is not real, so you aren't hallucinating?
You should seek help. Do your parents know about this? Will they let you see a psychairtrist?
You can get through this. I'll be rooting for you :)

it's exactly like watching a film... and i'm very aware that everything i see isn't real... i want to tell somebody, but there is SO much to explain.. i've been thinking about this all for going on three years, and it's become a very elaborate complicated part of me. Telling someone would be very hard, because there's so much (I have probably 15 main stories and about 30 characters..). I don't want to die with it all still in my head, however. I want people to know what I think about, and maybe I could make a living out of it, because i must say my world is pretty interesting

[tubanic]

Well, it's good you want to get it out.
You're in a difficult place, you need to get professional support. I have experience of "delusions" and "hallucinations" according to my doctors, but it's all very real to me.
Good luck :)
Let me know if you ever want to talk :)

[qwertygirl]

it's fine, it's not necessarily causing me any guilt or any feeling of being crazy. I've convinced myself it's just part of being a writer. But I'm going to take my "world" and try to do something good with it. So that's my plan! :D

[Korab]

Well you can be a good fantasy writer I guess but look up at google there might be someone like you and that has gone through this.(if that makes sens).Hope I helped you :)