Uncomfortable Situation

[minimoya]

I'm bi. Let's start with that. I have a crush on a girl-- Julia, and a guy-- Will. I have admitted to some people my feelings for Julia, and we went out on one date, and nothing happened after that-- normal. I have told nobody about my crush on Will. There are a few things that go with Will:

He's attractive. Nice. Funny. And smart. He is popular. He's our school quarterback, a basketball player, and a lacrosse player. I don't normally talk to the popular kids (I hate using that term-- seems so elementary), I'm nothing like them. I am friendly with them though and they are with me. If I ever want to talk to him, he's always with a buddy of his or somebody. Never alone in person. I chat him on Facebook. Occasionally. But I almost never talk to him in person. We have three classes together: gym, English, and biology. I never speak to him in English. He has spoken to me once in gym, asking me what was bothering me about my knee. In bio, he has asked me a couple times about some questions on a lab.

On the way out of the classroom, we got to the door at the same time, and we both stopped to politely let the other through the doorway. He said, "After you." Then I got the butterflies in the stomach. I felt my cheeks blush too. Don't know why that happened.

Whenever he asks me something in bio, I clam up and get all monotone. On Thanksgiving he broke his ankle in football, and went under the knife. I kept in touch with him on Facebook because I felt it was nice to ask him how he was going. Every time I see him online, I get butterflies. I have the urge to talk to him, but I don't know what about. And I feel I annoy him. I try to refrain from messaging him, but it just happens. I end up chatting him a couple days a week.

I give him no hint-- I don't think-- that I have a crush on him. * have no intention yet of asking him out, haven't processed that through my head enough. I just wanna be fiends with him and see where it goes from there. I ge really queasy when I'm near him or when I'm talking to him in person. *By the way, I'm all cool around Julia; I keep my head. *But with Will I'm nervous. Any tips about how to overcome this timidity?

[IAMWILL]

Well I think its obvious here that you are really nervous about how he feels about you, and the best way to get over that anxiety is: ask him. I know you mentioned that he's always with a friend, but their are plenty of other times besides school where you can talk to him. Facebook or calling him will always work, but if you want to talk to him in person I'd just wait after football practice for him. Trust me, most guys have no idea if a girl likes them or not until someone tells them. You're never going to get anywhere if you just kinda sit back and hope he finds out you like him. Which brings me to my second piece of advice.

You could always get someone to take the first step for you. Try and find a friend or anyone really that knows him well, maybe his or your best friend. If they let him know you like him, then you'll get some form of response. If he's not interested, he'll probably just ignore it. But if he is interested, I'm sure he'll communicate that to you in some way.

You need to make the first step here. Just tidbits of messaging and little actions aren't going to get you far. If you let him know that you like him though, then you can move forward.

In regards to the girl, you seem to be okay. But it seems now that you are much more interested in the guy. Choose one, and pursue it.

[aprilshowers]

It seems pretty clear to me that you really like Will, so my advice is to just ask him out/ tell him how you feel. That's the only way I've ever found to get the butterflies to calm down. Also, if you never act, things will never change, so don't be afraid to make the first move.

[minimoya]

At my school, telling someone how to feel about them results in awkward relations with that person. Is that a real smart thing to do?

[Taryn98]

It's better to take a chance and find out than do nothing and always wonder what if. Life is about taking risks. You obviously really like him. It's normal to feel anxious around people you really like, especially at the beginning. In time that passes, but those feelings are some of the best!
I'd say ask him out. I'd rather be crushed that he said no, than to always wonder what could have happened. I never want to regret something I could have done but didn't.

[minimoya]

…funny story. There's an openly gay kid at school-- he's a senior. And he told me he had feelings for me. He flirted with me, and I didn't at all feel comfortable especially because I barely knew hem and he is a little creepy. Not going into detail…. Anyway, I rejected him, but I felt so bad. I was nice about it though. I tried not to hurt his feelings. I barely speak to him now. I'm just that kid who is so socially timid and awkward. I am afraid my crush, Will, will be uncomfortable as I was with this other guy, and not want to talk to me again.

[Jakejjj]

If you really like Will give it a shot go for it show him you have feelings for him and ignore the other kids and what they think