Experimenting- gay?? Help!!!!!

[Westc55998]

My friend (one who liked to cuddle and hug when he spent the night) is just now finding out that I'm gay, and his reaction is that he doesn't want to talk about what we did and he doesn't look or act the same around me anymore. Should I bring up things we did in the past or... What?

Has anyone else had this problem or something like it?

[TapDancer]

First of all, if he wants to be a dick, fine, let him. But I will say, you haven't changed. Your still the same person, just emphasize that fact, he should come around. Alsom you don't need to bring up your experimentation, but, I'm sure it was mutual, so he is probably thinking "Ew, am I gay?" I hate the stigma these days, but just say that your still the same dude, because you are. Messege me is you need more advice.

[devyn704]

same i had the same prob but lol my friend i have known for 13 years so he under stood u can vm me for advice

[jegoss02]

First of all, if he wants to be a dick, fine, let him. But I will say, you haven't changed. Your still the same person, just emphasize that fact, he should come around. Alsom you don't need to bring up your experimentation, but, I'm sure it was mutual, so he is probably thinking "Ew, am I gay?" I hate the stigma these days, but just say that your still the same dude, because you are. Messege me is you need more advice.

Completely agree. I'd say let him go n his way until he realizes that you are still you. People don't change when they realize they are gay. They are still the same person. But if he is having a hard time with it, it's his ordeal to go through cause he prolly hasn't even considered his actions as gay or if he has, he is being really weird about it.

[DerBear]

I think your friend is in shock. I'll try and explain what he might be feeling.

When he didn't know you were gay he felt experimenting with you was okay as it was just "two curious boys". However we he did find out he feels like it was something different and something more personal and intimate for you (I am not saying this is the case but I am just suggesting it might be).

Anyway my advice would be to leave him alone and let him do his own thing and when and if he is ready he'll come back to you and at least resume normal friendship. Maybe if you both try to forget about what you both did with each other would help as well. He is probably questioning himself as well.

Overall give him some-time and space. This will overall help.

[FergusDunn]

My friend (one who liked to cuddle and hug when he spent the night) is just now finding out that I'm gay, and his reaction is that he doesn't want to talk about what we did and he doesn't look or act the same around me anymore. Should I bring up things we did in the past or... What?

Has anyone else had this problem or something like it?


Ok maybe he does not talk - look, act but maybe that is more your perception
do you feel you have changed -

Its all a two way street friendship is it not -

[jockeyboy97]

I agree with DerBear. Give him some time because he is in shock, he probably feels that he will turn gay. He will realize in time that you are the same guy and good friend with just a different sexuality.

[Jeremy_98]

My friend (one who liked to cuddle and hug when he spent the night) is just now finding out that I'm gay, and his reaction is that he doesn't want to talk about what we did and he doesn't look or act the same around me anymore. Should I bring up things we did in the past or... What?

Has anyone else had this problem or something like it?

I have a good friend at school whos just like that with another boy. hes still trying to make a lot of sense out of it

[Sean4U]

He's probably questioning himself now since you came out to him....I would just let things go, don't bring it up unless he does again....just remember, some guys think that if they fooled around and then found out that the guy they fooled around with is gay they sort of freak...its wrong I know, but it happens....just give him some time and hopefully you're friendship will get back to where it was...

[TheBlackRose321]

I would just see where things go and if things are really bugging you then talk to him personally

[sdude]

I think your friend is in shock. I'll try and explain what he might be feeling.

When he didn't know you were gay he felt experimenting with you was okay as it was just "two curious boys". However we he did find out he feels like it was something different and something more personal and intimate for you (I am not saying this is the case but I am just suggesting it might be).

Anyway my advice would be to leave him alone and let him do his own thing and when and if he is ready he'll come back to you and at least resume normal friendship. Maybe if you both try to forget about what you both did with each other would help as well. He is probably questioning himself as well.

Overall give him some-time and space. This will overall help.

Totally agree. Give him space, remember, he maybe going through some feelings he can't digest. Try to understand from his point of view. Hopefully it will come around and bring your friendship back.

[Westc55998]

All of these responses help but I'm still not sure what to Specifically say to my friend. It's awkward, I don't like it like this.

[jegoss02]

So say anything. Say hi. Haven't seen you in a while. Something like a scripted conversation. The same thing you guys talk about all the time to start a conversation like the weather or something. . It might be a bit awkward but it's just a step that's gotta get done. It ha to start out like it always does. Like nothing happened. Then, an awkward silence. Bring the nerve to ask him about what happened and do it. Don't blurt it out. Just say you guys need to work things out. Say your still the same guy you were before it all went down. Nothing's changed. I hope it all blows over smoothly.

[Santiago1618]

You should talk to him

[lumberturd]

Why would he cuddle with you if he didn't have an attraction to you

[CosmicNoodle]

I hate it when people think you are a different person because you tell them you are gay, for instance if you told him you favorite color was blue that does not suddenly change the person you where before, tell him that and make him remember all the good times you spent together and tell him the person he remembers is still standing in front of him, he will come around and he is only being weird because it is a big thing for him to accept.
I hope it will work out well for you and if it does not then he has lost an amazing person from his life!

[Catholic Guy]

Well if he doesn't want to talk about it don't force it but say to him, "jus because I'm gay it doesn't change anything in the past and it doesn't change who I am as a person"

[Harry Smith]

Please don't bump old threads :locked: