Sudds3
December 6th, 2012, 09:43 PM
My sister always tells me that you will cycle through friends at least once completely or else you arent doing it right. I never believed it until recently.
Im not sure, i just feel that the people i consider friends dont consider me friends because im annoying, ugly, talk to much, cuss a lot, people think im weird and im not popular. I have just recently gotten a new group of friends, and there are actually quite a lot of them. But the first couple people i met were already friends for a few months so i kind of intruded on their friendship. They all have a free period together and i dont. I always see them talking and laughing and the only time i can talk to them is during lunch.
So recently they invited me ice skating with a ton of other guys and girls so i said sure, whatever cuz its just kinda bleh. And then a few days later they came up to me and asked if i was going and i said ya, they told me "ah crap! We dont want you to go, so you should just stay home!" I just laughed it off thinking they were joking but they didnt say it in a noking way. So now im thinking that maybe they really dont want me to go.
Im thinking of just having some other guys spend the night instead of going ice skating because they already have a ton of people going so who gives two shits if i show up? Im awkward and weird and annoying and they just want to hook up with girls but they suck at it and im the only one who actually seems to, but why would it matter if i go because id judt get in the way.
Thats what it feels like right now, and for the last few weeks, that im just an annoying freak bump that people have to get over everyday. It just seems like i gave them my trust and its been shot back at me. It seems really fucking stupid but its just the one piece that made the tower fall. People keep pulling pieces out of me like Jenga and this was the one that finally made me fall. It just seems like it would be better if i died and got out of everyones way so they could go on with their lives inseatd of dealing with the lump of shit they call Adam. Im just a dumb sack of shit that takes up space and money and peoples time. Its just too confusing and i dont want to live anymore.
Thanks for listening, at least someone is out there who actually does...
-Adam
Im not sure, i just feel that the people i consider friends dont consider me friends because im annoying, ugly, talk to much, cuss a lot, people think im weird and im not popular. I have just recently gotten a new group of friends, and there are actually quite a lot of them. But the first couple people i met were already friends for a few months so i kind of intruded on their friendship. They all have a free period together and i dont. I always see them talking and laughing and the only time i can talk to them is during lunch.
So recently they invited me ice skating with a ton of other guys and girls so i said sure, whatever cuz its just kinda bleh. And then a few days later they came up to me and asked if i was going and i said ya, they told me "ah crap! We dont want you to go, so you should just stay home!" I just laughed it off thinking they were joking but they didnt say it in a noking way. So now im thinking that maybe they really dont want me to go.
Im thinking of just having some other guys spend the night instead of going ice skating because they already have a ton of people going so who gives two shits if i show up? Im awkward and weird and annoying and they just want to hook up with girls but they suck at it and im the only one who actually seems to, but why would it matter if i go because id judt get in the way.
Thats what it feels like right now, and for the last few weeks, that im just an annoying freak bump that people have to get over everyday. It just seems like i gave them my trust and its been shot back at me. It seems really fucking stupid but its just the one piece that made the tower fall. People keep pulling pieces out of me like Jenga and this was the one that finally made me fall. It just seems like it would be better if i died and got out of everyones way so they could go on with their lives inseatd of dealing with the lump of shit they call Adam. Im just a dumb sack of shit that takes up space and money and peoples time. Its just too confusing and i dont want to live anymore.
Thanks for listening, at least someone is out there who actually does...
-Adam