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December 6th, 2012, 05:53 PM
Ok, so I have this crazy crush on a guy in my class. I just realized to myself that I was bi, but I still never had an actual crush on a guy before. I've known him for quite a while, being in the same school since 1st grade (currently in 8th). Just last year, I used to be very annoyed by him because he used to "tease" me, touch me, and rub my leg. It made me feel awkward at times, but then I realized I kind of liked it ;). Anyway, not the point. I didn't really like talking to him, and I never even though of ever liking him, not even a little.
But now we started to talk, and I know him on a better level then I did last year. Sooner or later, when I admitted to myself that I was bi, I also realized that I had a crush on him. Idk, it's just something about him. Fast forward to now when I end up having to help him in math, be his partner in projects, etc. It's awkward sometimes because I have some weird idea in the back of my head to tell him all of this in one really crazy sentence, but that wouldn't work so well.
Thus, leading me to the actual problem here; keeping it a secret. Now, some people would think that I should talk about it, but I don't really think I have anyone to trust. Most of my classmates, even friends, are homophobic jackasses. (Even though i'm technically not a homo, I dont think it really makes a difference to them.) And if I told him, then I would be faced with the same problems of judgement from my peers.
And, finally, problem #2; I'm starting to think it's obvious I like him. Last year, I gave clear signs to people that I nearly hated him. And now, all of a sudden, I become fast friends with him. And I think people notice this. A long time ago, people already suspected me of being gay (for reasons I don't want to get into) and I denied it, but I dont think I was very convincing. (He also has his share of "questionable" experiences, where people think he's gay also.) And I wont get into what happens in the locker room :rolleyes:
So, should I just let it die and move on, or actually talk about it with someone? Face the judgement of my peers, or hide in the closet? I'm pretty lost here :what:
But now we started to talk, and I know him on a better level then I did last year. Sooner or later, when I admitted to myself that I was bi, I also realized that I had a crush on him. Idk, it's just something about him. Fast forward to now when I end up having to help him in math, be his partner in projects, etc. It's awkward sometimes because I have some weird idea in the back of my head to tell him all of this in one really crazy sentence, but that wouldn't work so well.
Thus, leading me to the actual problem here; keeping it a secret. Now, some people would think that I should talk about it, but I don't really think I have anyone to trust. Most of my classmates, even friends, are homophobic jackasses. (Even though i'm technically not a homo, I dont think it really makes a difference to them.) And if I told him, then I would be faced with the same problems of judgement from my peers.
And, finally, problem #2; I'm starting to think it's obvious I like him. Last year, I gave clear signs to people that I nearly hated him. And now, all of a sudden, I become fast friends with him. And I think people notice this. A long time ago, people already suspected me of being gay (for reasons I don't want to get into) and I denied it, but I dont think I was very convincing. (He also has his share of "questionable" experiences, where people think he's gay also.) And I wont get into what happens in the locker room :rolleyes:
So, should I just let it die and move on, or actually talk about it with someone? Face the judgement of my peers, or hide in the closet? I'm pretty lost here :what: