how do i tell him....

[ackmedsgirl666]

how do i tell my boyfriend about how i feel about my life... our relationship... what i want.... if you wanna know what i am talking about you will have to refer to my thread before this one...

i wnana know how i can make things better... or if i should give up and what the easiest way would be to do that...

im stressed if he leaves me now... my period is late....
thats also bad... i might be pregnant.....

god too much going on....... too much

[GoldenSnitch]

Ask him during moment what can you do to make it better for the both of you. And, if you ARE pregnant., sorry or congrats.Not sure which to say

[FreeFall]

God. If this is the same guy...
You won't leave him. You know you won't.
Me and previous users have told you numerous, countless times that you guys suck together yet neither of you seem to have the ability to work on yourselves or together. I'll ask you one final time;
Has ANYTHING improved in your love life?

And you think you're pregnant. An innocent, fresh life may growing inside of you and here you are on the pyramid of problems, many of which you could have easily solved and chose not to. Many of which you, alone and as a girlfriend, could have solved with your boyfriend and alone yet no effort seems to have been given. No effort seems to be making anything better, what, haven't things only gotten worse? From the sound of it, it has.

If this is the same boyfriend as previous, many, threads, do whatever you want. You never seem to heed any advice, neither of you! You both seem to sort of stick your heads in the sand, hold hands and say "everything will be juuussst fine if we stick it out". SO here I go anyways, but I'm more worried about the potential innocence you could potentially birth.

1) You both need to communicate. NEITHER of you are mind readers for crying out loud. And once before, didn't you say you make threads in hopes he'll seem them and confront YOU? Really? You're a woman now, and a possible mom to be. You need to find your lady balls, maturity and voice.

2) You need to grow up. So what if he leaves you? From all I can see from what you share, this would greatly benefit the both of you and the future baby if you're pregnant. Work on this co-dependency you seem to be showing. Millions of women, and men, go through pregnancy and parenting alone and most of them are just fine but that's because they grew up and took on the world and didn't sit in a corner crying over a failed dysfunctional relationship. That goes for him too.

3) You need to stop thinking as a girlfriend, and as an individual. Can you stand alone in every aspect? If you were to be forced away from him or anyone, would you survive? If not, you've got serious issues to address.

4) If you're indeed pregnant, you can no longer be selfish and think of you and how your life is going and how your relationships are. You can only think of your baby and what they need and deserve. The life you could be giving if there is any does not deserve parents that can't figure out north from west even if there's a giant map in front of them. The baby needs a strong mother that will be able to be emotionally stable and independent. The father too. That does not mean latch onto your child, it means you show them strength and courage and Independence.

Also, you previous said your bf "blacked out" and "pummeled" you and you hurt for awhile. He can, yes he can, do this to the infant. It won't matter, doesn't matter. If he beat you in a "black out" then he can and will and has all potential to "pummel" your child, or worse, kill it. Infant are small and fragile, two blows from a "black out" could easily kill your baby. If the child manages to survive they will live in fear of daddy having blackouts, provoked or not. No child deserves to walk on eggshells around their parent. Or you guys can expect many visits from CPS.
Please, oh dear god please, tell me you were not ACTIVELY trying for a child with the wreck of a relationship you're in.

If this is a new relationship, because honestly I can't even tell anymore, go forth with whatever you want.

[ackmedslayer556]

God. If this is the same guy...
You won't leave him. You know you won't.
Me and previous users have told you numerous, countless times that you guys suck together yet neither of you seem to have the ability to work on yourselves or together. I'll ask you one final time;
Has ANYTHING improved in your love life?

And you think you're pregnant. An innocent, fresh life may growing inside of you and here you are on the pyramid of problems, many of which you could have easily solved and chose not to. Many of which you, alone and as a girlfriend, could have solved with your boyfriend and alone yet no effort seems to have been given. No effort seems to be making anything better, what, haven't things only gotten worse? From the sound of it, it has.

If this is the same boyfriend as previous, many, threads, do whatever you want. You never seem to heed any advice, neither of you! You both seem to sort of stick your heads in the sand, hold hands and say "everything will be juuussst fine if we stick it out". SO here I go anyways, but I'm more worried about the potential innocence you could potentially birth.

1) You both need to communicate. NEITHER of you are mind readers for crying out loud. And once before, didn't you say you make threads in hopes he'll seem them and confront YOU? Really? You're a woman now, and a possible mom to be. You need to find your lady balls, maturity and voice.

2) You need to grow up. So what if he leaves you? From all I can see from what you share, this would greatly benefit the both of you and the future baby if you're pregnant. Work on this co-dependency you seem to be showing. Millions of women, and men, go through pregnancy and parenting alone and most of them are just fine but that's because they grew up and took on the world and didn't sit in a corner crying over a failed dysfunctional relationship. That goes for him too.

3) You need to stop thinking as a girlfriend, and as an individual. Can you stand alone in every aspect? If you were to be forced away from him or anyone, would you survive? If not, you've got serious issues to address.

4) If you're indeed pregnant, you can no longer be selfish and think of you and how your life is going and how your relationships are. You can only think of your baby and what they need and deserve. The life you could be giving if there is any does not deserve parents that can't figure out north from west even if there's a giant map in front of them. The baby needs a strong mother that will be able to be emotionally stable and independent. The father too. That does not mean latch onto your child, it means you show them strength and courage and Independence.

Also, you previous said your bf "blacked out" and "pummeled" you and you hurt for awhile. He can, yes he can, do this to the infant. It won't matter, doesn't matter. If he beat you in a "black out" then he can and will and has all potential to "pummel" your child, or worse, kill it. Infant are small and fragile, two blows from a "black out" could easily kill your baby. If the child manages to survive they will live in fear of daddy having blackouts, provoked or not. No child deserves to walk on eggshells around their parent. Or you guys can expect many visits from CPS.
Please, oh dear god please, tell me you were not ACTIVELY trying for a child with the wreck of a relationship you're in.

If this is a new relationship, because honestly I can't even tell anymore, go forth with whatever you want.




Really? im gonna kill our baby eh? who are to asume the future freefall? you cant say what will happen. i messed up once and iv bin kicking myself in the ass about it ever since. and iv also gotten some help with it ok. so next time before you jump to conclusions why dont u pm the person first. thanks for nothing freefall

[kenoloor]

Really? im gonna kill our baby eh? who are to asume the future freefall? you cant say what will happen. i messed up once and iv bin kicking myself in the ass about it ever since. and iv also gotten some help with it ok. so next time before you jump to conclusions why dont u pm the person first. thanks for nothing freefall

First of all, get over yourself. Second of all, she said "potentially kill" not "will definitely for sure without a doubt kill." Third of all, FreeFall brings up a very valid point. Regardless of what you say now, you can't deny that abuse has occurred. There is a fuckton more potential for abuse if it's already happened. Fourth of all, shut up. If you thought what you had done was a mistake, you wouldn't have done it. Don't pull this "I've changed my ways" bullshit.

[FreeFall]

Really? im gonna kill our baby eh? who are to asume the future freefall? you cant say what will happen. i messed up once and iv bin kicking myself in the ass about it ever since. and iv also gotten some help with it ok. so next time before you jump to conclusions why dont u pm the person first. thanks for nothing freefall
I give advice whether you like it or not, or take it or not. Nor will I pm you about a thread where I have concern merely for a potential future child who has nothing but innocence and a new life to explore.
My call, your reaction to what I have posted has set so many alarm bells off in my head.

You're kicking yourself in the ass for it and GOTTEN help? Really? So what else have you done? You KEEP GETTING help. You never stop. And define this help, because depending on what you're doing, you're not helping a thing, just sweeping it under the rug.
Are you taking the steps you need? Like professional? No amount of books or saying you're sorry will ever prevent you from "blacking out" again. You cannot do this by google or a home remedy. Are you getting your girlfriend any help for the attack? How do you know you'll never "black out" again? You need professional help for something like this and they make that call, not you. I cannot stress enough that you cannot do this on your own.

Is there a reason you seem to be taking what happened and what can potentially happen so damn lightly? Who are YOU, alone, to say you will never black out again? I'm pretty shocked how you're trying to tear at me when I'm completely validated, only more so by your response.
As a boyfriend, and a future FATHER, your concern shouldn't be "damn this internet poster and balahah!" it should be, "damn, I really need to pull my weight, grow up, get into the mind frame of being a father, realize I can no longer be a child, and take the measures I need to ensure that my child and girlfriend are safe, happy, secure and well."
Yet here you are trying to validate yourself, trying to say I know nothing and while that's all well and true, it's a typical cop out for "shut up internet poster I don't like what you have to say!" What's the use in your attempt of proving something I said wrong? Why not prove to the people who will forever have to have some sort of connection to you in their lives that I'm wrong? That you're finding ways to keep yourself stable? That you're mature enough to handle being a father and boyfriend? That you won't black out and put their lives at risk? That they won't have eggshells to walk on?
What defense have you to stand against my words when you're tearing down your own house?

Prove me wrong by proving to them you're worthy, strong, stable and ready! I matter nothing to you. Focus on your individual self, being a future father and making your relationship functional, not how wrong you think I am. Take the steps needed to ensure everything they need from you and deserve from you is at the ready! Not for me, not the internet but for yourself, her and your potential future child.