Strong urges to cut

[JaimeL]

Im 17 years old and Ive been cutting for about 2 years, and am currently being tested for depression.. The past year Ive been slowly falling away from it and had a period of about 4 months where i didnt at all. I did it for the first time again just over a month ago and since then the urges just keep getting stronger and stronger. What confuses me is lately I have been in a fairly good mood. It makes sense that it becomes an addiction, but until just a month ago I thought I was done for good. Im afraid because its getting hard not to do it but its so embarassing, as Ive just recently informed my parents and started counselling...I dont understand why I crave the feeling and just seeing the cuts, makes me feel like a sick person :(

[Goodenough23]

first off, IT"S GOING TO BE OK!
I am a recovering self harmer so I know how being in this position feels. I would go for months without harming and would start to feel good but then all the sudden I would have the biggest urge to harm again. Thing was I felt fine like I was doing OK. It scared me. I thought I had turned into this monster and would never stop. The thing that kept me from harming was my I had stopped in the first place. Because I wanted to get better and no one else could do that for me, in order to overcome this i needed to fight and fight hard! To this day I still get urges but I go distract myself, I watch movies, go for runs, go dance in my room to music if needed lol anything to keep my mind away from it. and good for u to go to counseling! i do to and it REALLY helps! Like my therapist told me in order to get over something u need to deal with it. We aren't going to get over this overnight, it's impossible but in time we will overcome! :)