Getting Worse

[StopStaring]

I've been cutting for quite a while now and i am getting deeper and deeper with blades that get sharper and sharper. Seeing the blood is the only thing that can fully calm me down and i want to know if anyone else is like this and i dont really know any other self harmers and i just really need someone out there to listen to a voice that never gets heard.

[Conqueror of Hearts]

I understand you...i've never talked to someone with the same issue too. I think you should be careful with the cuts because you could easily go too deep and end up in hospital. What is so great at seing your own blood? For how long have you been self harming? Maybe you shold at least try to control the depth of your cuts .

[StopStaring]

i do try - i really do and i dont know why the blood calms me. Maybe it's just because its one thing that we all have in common, i feel so different normally.

[Conqueror of Hearts]

I guess that makes sense...do you wanna stop doing it? Do you feel that cutting destroys your life on so many levels? I feel it can easily take control over my life...im like studying and all i can think of is cutting....do you have that crazy urge?

[StopStaring]

Yeah but its worse when i dont cut, i used to when i was just seven and i was watched real close to make sure i didnt re start - i used to dream about blood dripping off my wrist and i had to see a doctor. I restarted about 4 months ago and its just become habit for when i feel a bad emotion too strongly, which is a lot since i am also depressed... I tryed to stop a couple of weeks ago but i was panicky and so it didnt work.

[Conqueror of Hearts]

I dont think you can do it alone...i think you should visit doctor and with his help and with the support from your loved ones youll be in position to control your cutting... it will get better and you can be happy again but it takes a lot of time ,and love. Just dont be alone in that you need your family and friends more than ever...i know it is hard, its hard for me as well and i think i could use some professional help but im just too scared to say anything..but i really hope youll get through this once for good.

[xXJust Jump ItXx]

I know how you feel bout that... I mean its a wild idea, but maybe a red pen, marker may be better... and just do lines like cuts on your arm. I guess give it a shot, it may or may not work. Im not sure what you could do... :/

[StopStaring]

I have told three people so i am not completely alone.
Also i have actualy tryed red ink but it doesnt work, thanks for the idea though.

[Silent Sufferer]

Does anybody else feel that if they can't cut for whatever reason (for me its generally I'll be at school or out in public) but I find if I think of the blood comming up and out of cuts on my body that it calms me down a little bit but not enough to stop the urges to cut. Dees anybody else get this or is it just me? Sometimes the thought of the blood is enough to calm me down but in yesterday it all got too much and I'm not sure if this is 'normal'?