please help-need some advice

[that-god-chick]

so people at my church have been telling me for ages now that they think i have depression and think i need to go to the doctors about it, but the truth is i kinda think i do to but i have everything under controll and i dont want to go to the doctors. now i finaly reached out to one of them the other day and told her everything... about me not sleep, not eating, my self harm, my suicide thoughts and my suicide attempt, now she wants to admit me to a hospital, this is the one thing i do not want to happen, but i know i cant keep living like this, everyone i who has tryed to help me in the past have all given up on me and i dont blaime them iv kinda given up on myself.. i know i need help but talking just isint doing anymore and i cant go to the doctors as i dont have the money and im scared if i go one it will mean coming forward and admitting i need help and if i go there is a very high chance they will make me go to hospital... i just dont know what to do someone help.. please

[chiliguy]

Hello Chloe! I understand that it's really hard for you to see a doctor, but I'd suggest that you do it. Even if you are taken to a hospital it'll be for your own good, and you'll be released really soon! You'll see that you'll feel better. You cannot keep living like this, you said that. The only thing that can help you is a doctor or a psychologist. Save some money and visit one. They will help you. :)

[that-god-chick]

Hello Chloe! I understand that it's really hard for you to see a doctor, but I'd suggest that you do it. Even if you are taken to a hospital it'll be for your own good, and you'll be released really soon! You'll see that you'll feel better. You cannot keep living like this, you said that. The only thing that can help you is a doctor or a psychologist. Save some money and visit one. They will help you. :)

i went to a doctor once before and it just wasnt good, i felt terrible after and she did nothing.. i dont want to go to hospital coz know my school word will get around and i will be know as the mental kid.. the suicidal kid and i just cant have that atm... what money i bearly get any money and my mum doesnt get a lot of pay we r kind living pay check to pay check..

[Abyssal Echo]

I understand how you feel I've been in the Psyc ward many times and seen a number of Dr's. other than putting me on meds they've not done shit for me. I've tried or been on most of the anti depressants a number of anti psycotics. I think my really close VT friends have done more for me then the Dr's and Councelors have.

Honestly Chloe the first step in the recovery process is to admitt you have a problem then seek help. if one Dr. dont help you find another that will help you.

[that-god-chick]

I understand how you feel I've been in the Psyc ward many times and seen a number of Dr's. other than putting me on meds they've not done shit for me. I've tried or been on most of the anti depressants a number of anti psycotics. I think my really close VT friends have done more for me then the Dr's and Councelors have.

Honestly Chloe the first step in the recovery process is to admitt you have a problem then seek help. if one Dr. dont help you find another that will help you.

yeah i totaly understand, but im not to keen on anti-depressants as iv heard of the side effects. and iv been thinking about going back to a doctor but im scared if i do i will have to tell them about everything (suicide thoughts, my attemps, and everything elase) and that they will put me into a psyc ward and i really dont want that to happen...

[tubanic]

Being in a psyc ward can be scary, but if you feel safe at home, it's really unlikely they'll make you stay in hospital.
I've seen more shit counsellors than ones that have helped, but sometimes they get to the bottom of the problem so you can sort it out for yourself.
Anti-depressants aren't that bad, I'm on fluoxidine and citalopram and I'm not suffering any side effects. They keep me going and make me see the positives more, and also make me less distressed and help with my hearing voices. They can really help, and if a doctor reccomends meds, you should give them a try :)

[that-god-chick]

i dont feel that safe at home anymore as everything i see i think of it as a weapon to harm myself or end my life... but the thought of going to a psyc ward is to overwhelming for me and scares me to much i just dont think i would be able to cope... thats the main thing stopping me from going to the doctors... but yes im considering it

thanks for the help and advice everyone

[tubanic]

Yes, I get times I look around a room and I just see all the things I could hurt myself with, detergent, electric sockets, the metal bit on a pencil below the eraser...
But the thing is in a psyc ward they keep you under supervision so you aren't scared of hurting yourself, which is a relief, you feel your safety isn't your responsibility anymore.
If a psyc ward is the best place for you, then don't feel bad. Don't let your fear of ending up in a hospital stop you from getting help!

[that-god-chick]

ii dont "get times" like that, its constant for me... hmm yeah thanks for the help and the advice, means alot