Doubt...

[Skyline]

For the past couple years I have identified myself as being gay. Lately I have been getting thoughts of what later life will be like, and the more I think about it the better a wife and kids sounds. The thing is, I'm not attracted to women at all! So the reason I posted this is I was wondering, what would define me more, the gender that appeals most to me, or my thoughts of what would be "The Perfect Family."

-Don't limit your answers to preferred gender or the perfect family, feel free to give me advice on finding the real me! Tell me how you define gay! I'm a pretty open thinker!!!!-

[Bougainvillea]

To be honest, I think you are just admiring and hoping for something that you feel you should want. It's what we as Americans have been brought up with. We're raised as kids being told that that's what we should work for.


I'm not sure of that really is the reason but that's the only thing I can think of right now.

[FergusDunn]

For the past couple years I have identified myself as being gay. Lately I have been getting thoughts of what later life will be like, and the more I think about it the better a wife and kids sounds. The thing is, I'm not attracted to women at all! So the reason I posted this is I was wondering, what would define me more, the gender that appeals most to me, or my thoughts of what would be "The Perfect Family."

-Don't limit your answers to preferred gender or the perfect family, feel free to give me advice on finding the real me! Tell me how you define gay! I'm a pretty open thinker!!!!-


I guess you have to get to later and see how you feel then -

Its normal to look ahead and think what life will be like and how things pan out -- enjoy the now.

[TigerBoy]

Funnily enough I posted something about this earlier today. A lot of guys historically in the UK a generation or two back used to end up marrying to fit in and have a familiy because it was expected. I read about Pennsylvania State Rep. Mike Fleck who came out (http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/state-representative-comes-out-closet011212) yesterday. He'd married in 2002 but divorced last year.

'I sought out treatment from a Christian counselor, but when that didn’t work out, I engaged a secular therapist who told me point blank that I was gay and that I was too caught up in being the perfect Christian rather than actually being authentic and honest,' Fleck said.

The pressure to conform has led lots of gay guys into this sort of mistake in the past. I say mistakes because from reading articles about this it seems to usually end up causing hurt to the wife and even any kids that get involved, let alone the effect it has on the man.

Ten US states have equal marriage laws (21 states that recognise various same sex unions), and the number is set to grow - there is every chance that as a gay man you could marry a man and have kids if you want to have a family life.