Problem

[Hunter_Steel]

I have a slight problem with a girl that I have been together with for around a year now.

It feels like me and her have grown far apart to the point where it feels like we're strangers. We argue so much and in the past I said soo many things to her that have hurt her. I don't want to lose her and I don't want her to lose me. I never wanted to hurt her in the beginning and I seem to have hurt her without knowing.

I can't think of how I can change this around. She wants me to sort myself out. I am trying that, but each time I say I have changed myself, she always seems to find a bad part about me and turns it into a whole Clash of the Titans thing.

I love her too much to let it end in a bad way. I'd rather if it ended that it ended on good terms, not bad terms.

[Ryhanna]

Honestly, it sounds like you need some time apart. I'm not saying that you should break up with her, just that you both need some space from each other.

Sometimes when people spend too much time together they just start to notice all of the others flaws and get really sick of each other. With the information you posted, that's what I feel like is happening in your situation. If that's the case, then just taking a break from being around each other could do you both a lot of good.

[Hunter_Steel]

The other thing is, she found out I had sex when I was 14. And she feels like she can't trust me or be alone with me for fear I may do the same thing to her.

I keep telling her that I will never ever dare to try and do that if she's not okay with it. But maybe your right. We might need some time apart. Although, we're working through things.

But I dunno if I keep it going if things don't end up changing in some way.

[FreeFall]

First she needs to let go out that...awkward grudge. I get it, though how she feels but it's an unhealthy bug that will nibble at your relationship until it kills it or it's full. But that girl you had sex with was not her, that time in your life is not where you are now, as she has you you're just not a virgin but you're not a sex fiend.

Second, when you argue don't try to end it by hurting her. It sort of borders emotional abuse if you two are just slinging to hurt each other and bring it down. Are you even arguing though? What is it about? Someone going out too much or that you farted and are denying it?
There's arguing, when a problem has a solution but neither can agree or get to it and first needs to show their frustration and anger to the other party. And then there's pointless fights. Which is it you two are having.

Time a part is a border wall for me. On one hand, it's good. On another, I think if you two have to take space from each other to work together, there's something wrong in the first place.

Try communicating. No arguing, no fighting. Explain to her what you explained to us. Tell her how you hate this fighting, see how she's feeling. In a relationship, both parties need to agree and be on the same page so where you may want a break, she may want to work things out and vice versa. See her side and how she's seeing things. Talk about that all together, figure out what you two agree is best and go from there.

[Hunter_Steel]

I don't think we need time apart. I have sorted some of the issues. But it seems I will have to perform a miracle for her to let go of that. The only hope I have now is meeting with her so I can change this.

Its been a while since I've seen her. So thats the only hope I have.

[Caver]

Invite her for dinner, catch up, talk and explain how you're feeling and tell her your sorry.

[Hunter_Steel]

Problem with that is she's in the UK and I am in South Africa.

But things have been sorted now. Although its difficult to keep a long distance relationship going. Getting there, just need to work on a few things now.

Thanks for the advice everyone. I appreciate it. :)