that feel

[Sordid Saint]

I'm pretty sure I've officially given up hope on being truly happy. Even when I do better for myself and try my hardest to be "good", I'm still miserable and lonely on the inside.

On the other hand, I've been doing really well with fake smiles and stuff. No one knows a thing.

[PonY]

You most certainly have not given up.
Why would you do that?
There is so many things to look at in a good way.
Don't think you are the only one in the world who has felt this way.

Recent events in my life made me feel like giving up. Though on humanity, rather than myself being happy. Humanity does not make me happy. People are retarded, they treat you with disrespect, though, when did I ever deserve this? I put myself after everyone, I let people feel better while I sat and felt like shit. I let everyone act better than me. In the end I realize, who are they? Why do I feel like shit because they think they are better than me?
If you think everyone is better than you, and you will never be happy, well frankly you are wrong. I never though I would be happy. Then I learned, that in order to be happy, you have to be happy with your surrounding, who you are with, who you are yourself.

I changed my life when met another woman, she made me realize how much I really did hate the world, and the people in it. How stupid they are, but really, why does that matter? I am happy with who I am, maybe not with the way I look, or how thin I am, but really, does it matter? You are who you are, people are retarded. Make yourself realize you are cool, even if not to the people you meet in a day. Someone thinks you are cool. But, that someone will not come around until you can realize, you are a person, you are yourself, there is no reason to be something you are not.


I doubt that makes any sense.

~None the less, I was lonely, I found out why, that is because I thought I was. BUT, I was not. I faked everything, now I know, now I am happy.

[Sordid Saint]

Well yea, I obviously don't like myself, if you knew me you would understand why. Kids think I'm cool already, I just think I'm not. I don't even know why I'm so depressed. I guess its everything mixing together. And its even way worse when theres no one to talk to

[PonY]

You're right I do not know you.
I was like that. I didn't think I was cool.

But still, again, realize you are cool. Even if you do not think you are.
These people think you are cool. So why do you not?

You are lucky however. I never had that. Not till now, when I changed myself. My moods, and don't care what people say anymore.

If you believe me or not. People actually respect you for being able to say, "Screw you, I do not care what you think, I am who I am, and I am happy with that"

Most people cannot do that.

Maybe you can at some point? You clearly need to, if you do not like yourself.

What can you change though?

[its.me.akshay]

dude... You aint need to be like that everytime... Sometime may come.. When you need to pour out everything...and managing with a fake smile isnt the world... You know the pain you have inside your heart... Let others know it too.. Maybe it will help them change their attitude towards youu... All the best... And if you want i can explain you further...

[Noirtier]

I'm pretty sure I've officially given up hope on being truly happy. Even when I do better for myself and try my hardest to be "good", I'm still miserable and lonely on the inside.

On the other hand, I've been doing really well with fake smiles and stuff. No one knows a thing.

Quinn, I know how you feel. I know the pain, the loneliness eating away at you until you can't even bear it anymore. It's hard, it really is. And when all anyone ever sees is a fake version of you, the "happy version" just to please others, it sucks. I've been there a lot of times, and in some ways, I'm still there. Giving up hope on being happy though, negates the possibility of it ever happening. Hope is what drives humanity towards greater and greater things. Hope is what gets people who feel as though they have nothing to live for out of bed in the morning. Hope is a big reason that humanity has survived for as long as it has--even in the midst of the dark times for man, hope has always been seen on the horizon. And that hope has driven us to achieve many things. Given us the strength to keep coming back, time and time again. If you give up on that hope, then it's true that you can't be truly happy. But, if you hold on to that hope, if you keep it as your own, then no matter how hard things get there will always be something to look forward to. And, because of that hope, one day, you may be able to truly be happy. You know that we're all here for you Quinn, and that we care about you and are here to support you through everything that you go through. Don't give up hun, don't give up...

[Sordid Saint]

I don't know what to do. :(

[Desuetude]

Well yea, I obviously don't like myself, if you knew me you would understand why. Kids think I'm cool already, I just think I'm not. I don't even know why I'm so depressed. I guess its everything mixing together. And its even way worse when theres no one to talk to
I know you and I like you, you are so harsh to yourself and you're such a great guy.
I've told you but you just need to tell someone, there are people to talk to in school, out of school. Although I can't imagine your friends would understand? If you think they might then tell them.

Don't give up. You're way stronger than that. The first part of this is getting over those addictions, you seem to be doing amazingly well at that and the fact that you decided it for yourself shows that you want to get better. Sometimes there doesn't have to be a 'reason' that you become depression, it could be genetic or just part of you. Your life adds to the fact though.

You know you can always talk to me, I might not be much help but I'll be there for you just like always. Don't give up on yourself, you do have so much to live for and it'd be a real shame to let it all slip away. You can get somewhere in life, you're intelligent, you just don't have the motivation to do anything about it. Follow your passions and focus on them: music, astronomy, anything else my stupid memory doesn't remember but there's always something.

Fake smiles and seeming happy is great, it seems. Really though it just makes everything worse when no one else sees how you really feel. You have to tell them and they can do something about it, help you. If not then no one will know. You've just got to build up the courage to reach out and we're all backing you for when you decide to. You're awesome Quinn, you're going to get through this. Even if it takes a while just hang in there. :hug:

[Thunderstorm]

If you are happy not being happy, that's fine for now. You shouldn't be faking it because it gives people the wrong perspective of you.