what is love???

[ackmedsgirl666]

to be inlove or just love..
my boyfriend brought this up and asked me... what is love
so i googled it and found this
helped me understand my feelings better :)
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_true_meaning_of_love_and_being_in_love

[Lost in the Echo]

To me, love is a psychological emotion, same as being happy, sad or angry, they're all psychological emotions :)

[Texas warrior]

Love is when you heart is catchs fire when you see the person, not to be confused with heart burn.

[workingatperfect]

Hmm. I don't think I can describe it very well, I think the best part of love is indescribable. But, I guess to me it's when their happiness comes before yours, you trust them with all of you physically and emotionally, being able to be completely open and yourself around them, really seeing each other.... I guess that's kind of what it is to me. I think for the most part though, there's just this general feeling of comfort and excitement when you're with the person that can't really be described to justice.

[kenoloor]

Thanks to the many poets, artists, and various romantic figures in history, love has been considered an inexplicable, intangible concept; it was widely regarded as an element of the human psyche that resided in the abstract. Even scientists throughout history found that love to be mystifying and even metaphysical. Until recently, love has been perceived as such: something that will never been explained by mere science. The attitude of scientists has changed drastically in accordance with the discovery of oxytocin, vasopressin, and other hormones and how they affect the human brain. Love is very much a chemical reaction that occurs in the brain.

Throughout history, love has gained a reputation of being fickle, conceptual, metaphysical, elusive, and other such vague descriptors. It has appeared in countless poems and other artistic works represented as such. Even today, in movies, books, television shows, and other outlets of popular media, love is portrayed as an abstract concept that can never be fully understood. Other cultures may depict love using different experiences, however, they still render love to be a largely theoretical idea and something that was beyond the explanations that science could offer.

While such portrayals may have been accurate in the past, that attitude is quickly becoming an obsolete one as a result of the progression of science, and the discovery of chemicals such as oxytocin, vasopressin, and other hormones. Oxytocin and vasopressin have been proven to be linked to behaviors in mammals such as pair-bonding, social recognition, and most sexual behaviors. Vasopressin, while not quite as instrumental as oxytocin in producing the effects we naturally associate with “love,” is still vital in the overall process.

According to www.youramazingbrain.com, psychologists claim that there are three stages of love. The first stage being that of lust. This occurs in both sexes, and is driven by testosterone and estrogen, respectively. The second stage is the stage of attraction. The primary chemicals involved in this stage are adrenalin, dopamine, and serotonin. The adrenaline is responsible for nerves, sweating, and other similar symptoms when you see the object of your affection. The dopamine is responsible for the “desire and reward” system that your brain is used to. The serotonin may explain why your lover keeps invading your thoughts. The third--and final--stage of love is the stage of attachment. This stage is where a long-term bond occurs and is where oxytocin plays the biggest role. In a study relating to the effects of oxytocin, when sheep and rats took a chemical compound that blocked the release of oxytocin, they rejected their own biological offspring.

During these stages of discovery, scientists did numerous studies on prairie voles. The main reason prairie voles were such a strong candidate for research is the prairie vole’s monogamous nature; most prairie voles pair-bond for life, as do many humans. Conversely, the meadow vole is companionless and its breeding habits are especially wanton. When the brains of the prairie vole and meadow vole were compared, and despite their close relation, many differences were found. In order to accurately test the voles, they were placed in a container with three rooms, interconnected by tubes. One room contained the vole be tested; another contained the vole’s mate; and another contained a stranger. For prairie voles, it was discovered that the longer the mates spent together, the closer their bond became, and the less willing they were to be placed in the room with the stranger.

As studying of prairie voles progressed, knowledge of what drives monogamous mammals to be devoted to a particular partner became greater and greater. It was discovered that,the main chemical difference that seemed to be responsible for the difference in nature between the prairie voles and the meadow voles is the amount of oxytocin that is released during their social interactions with other voles. In prairie voles, the amounts of oxytocin released is far greater to that of the meadow voles; it has been deduced that their difference in mating habits is due to this chemical variation.

In other studies of prairie voles, it was discovered that vasopressin was much more responsible for attachment in male voles than in female voles, where oxytocin was a greater factor. For male voles, the presence and releasing of vasopressin accounts for aggression or overprotectiveness of their mate, and other habits attributed to male voles are often a result of vasopressin’s presence in the brain. In both male and female voles, vasopressin and oxytocin are culprits in the hunt for chemicals that affect attachment and emotional bonding.

In many studies of the human brain, and the different affects that these chemicals have on it, the concept of an “addiction to love” has been presented numerous times. When comparing the brains of drug addicts to brains of people supposedly in love, the reward system in the brain functioned surprisingly similarly. Like a drug, love can often cause its victim to become irrational, lose self-control, and have an obsessive and incessant need for it. The neural pathways that oxytocin utilizes when communicating feelings of “love” are the same pathways that are used when one is addicted to drugs. This causes many to believe that love is the “original drug.” Without the pathways created for those feelings, drugs would not be nearly as addictive. The reason foreign substances that the body has never experienced before are because love has already caused those addictive enablers in the brain to be active. This idea of an addiction to love could account for long-term couples’ ability to commit to each other over extended periods of time.

Studies have shown that in addition to love functioning very much like an addiction, many drug addicts are addicted to drugs because of a lack of the emotional feeling of “love.” Addicts, when using drugs, often have a void that they are attempting to fill. Often, this void is the result of a lack of intimacy, and they seek to fill that void with foreign substances that manipulate their brain’s natural chemistry of friendship and partnership.

According to www.livescience.com, oxytocin has been touted as a “trust drug” by many scientists. While this claim, and others related to it, may be somewhat embellished, there is an element of truth to it. Trust, whether people deny it or not, is everywhere; it affects the decisions that we make in our lifetime, especially those regarding social attachments. Oxytocin is key in those kinds of attachments. In non-human mammals, oxytocin functions as a behavioral regulator, and its function is not much different in humans. In the human brain, oxytocin receptors are in the areas that deal with behavior.

A study was conducted by LiveScience in which two test groups would invest their money in someone who would inevitable gain from their money first, however, both parties would ultimately benefit. One group was administered oxytocin via a nasal spray, the other group, an ineffective saline spray. The first test group were much more trusting than their control group counterparts; the oxytocin group ended up investing as much as two times as much money as the control. The control group was reluctant to take risks when investing their money during this experiment.

However, oxytocin’s effects go deeper than just trusting others. It is an essential chemical in our brain for social recognition. Without oxytocin, we would be devoid of much--if not all--of our social recognition skills. Social recognition is key in mate selection and even sexual behavior in humans and other non-human mammals. This form of recognition is the core basis for most social behaviors, interactions, and responses.

Psychologists have determined that it takes somewhere between 90 seconds and 4 minutes to decide if you are attracted to someone. Surprisingly, very little of that decision is based off of what the person says; psychologists say that about 55% of this decision is influenced by the person’s body language, while 38% is based on the tone and speed of their voice, and only 7% is based on what the person actually says.

Vasopressin often seems to get lost in all the hubbub surrounding oxytocin, and is often missed as being extremely valuable to the whole process of love. While oxytocin is related very much to attraction, vasopressin has a correlation with monogamy. In a study conducted by www.oxytocin.org between primates with higher levels of vasopressin and primates with lower levels, the subjects with high vasopressin levels are a reportedly monogamous variety of primate; conversely, the variety with lower levels of vasopressin was decidedly less monogamous regarding sexual partners. This, coupled with oxytocin, seems to be responsible for a couple’s ability to stay committed to each other over long periods of time.

Some scientists, if not many, are touting oxytocin as a newfound “love drug.” However, further discoveries have shown that the chemical may not be precisely what some scientists are building it up to be. According to Carsten K.W. de Dreu, a psychologist at the University of Amsterdam, “Oxytocin is not this indiscriminate love drug.” Oxytocin is a complex chemical and operates in a variety of ways. While it certainly is capable of increasing trust between strangers, it can also enhance the negativity of a particular memory regarding someone who was especially cool or distant. It has also been observed to cause people to favor their close group of friends and even be standoff-ish to people who they perceive as outsiders.

In another experiment involving the exchange of money between individuals, another leak in the “love-drug” argument for oxytocin was found. Oxytocin appears to only increase trust between people when they are emotionally engaged. When the oxytocin-receiver does not have to consider the emotions of the person they are interacting with, the chemical was found to be entirely ineffective.

Through nearly every study conducted surrounding oxytocin and its effects on the body, it has been proven to increase trust and social skills among those tested. In the future, oxytocin, in this capacity, could have a very large influence on drugs used to treat for mental disabilities. It has been hypothesized that treating individuals with conditions similar to autism or some form of social deficiency with oxytocin could improve their social skills and recognition. While this is not achievable in the present, it is certainly something that scientists will be looking to in the future.

Despite it’s seemingly endless possibilities as a positive force in the world, there are ways that excite scientists slightly less. For example, political candidates who spray oxytocin over masses of people could cause that candidate to become considerably more trusted. In an intimate relationship, oxytocin could be used to influence a partner’s judgement in such a way that they might not have been influenced were they in control of their body’s chemical levels. There are many instances in which oxytocin could be abused, much like an illegal substance such as heroin or cocaine.

Over the years, science has discovered more and more relating to the chemicals that are involved in love and the various stages of it. Scientists say that with every scientific advance made in this field, the better equipped they can be to help those who may have a social defect or otherwise impairment regarding being sociable or interacting with other people. Despite what thousands of artists and poets have purported love to be--inexplicable and intangible--science is quickly explaining more and more that relates to love and its chemical reaction within the brain.

You're welcome.

[ackmedsgirl666]

umm thanks
but i already had an understanding of it when i read what i found

[kenoloor]

umm thanks
but i already had an understanding of it when i read what i found

You could gain a better understanding by reading what I posted.

[ackmedsgirl666]

ok well thanks

[Apollo.]

Being in love to me is being able to look into a persons eyes and instantly be cheered up, knowing that you will always be there for each other, you would give your life for them to be happy, would do anything for them and could never watch them be hurt without wanting to kill the person that is hurting them. When just being with them can make you forget all the shit in life and conversation never dries up. When you can instantly tell if they are unhappy and you would do anything to change that and you can communicate with just body language and not have to say a word to know how they feel. Adoring everything about them and knowing you will always be there for them and them for you, nothing about them is off putting its all just a part of them. I have thousands more but I'm not spending all night listing them.

Loving someone is different, you could really dislike someone but love them at the same time, I think true love is unconditional like with family members, you always want what is best for them and don't want to see them hurt no matter what your relationship is like with them. Again loads more but I'm to tired to list:P

[xXJust Jump ItXx]

You're welcome.

I hate and like science. Here it explains the literal chemical changes within the brain. Then we have the other part of it, what the link that the poster above you posted. Truthfully the first one, really 99% of the stuff on it I agree with. This major quote you did, I had never seen before but I do well kinda agree with it. I can understand how its a literal chemical change in both peoples brains, and together. Its very interesting. But again chemical changes or reactions in the brain is NOT all that is making us love someone. Its like emotions, they change and come and go but we always chose to go back to being happy for example. We enjoy it, coming from someone suffering from depression all I want is to be happy. Normally Im depressed outta my mind! I dont chose to be, but still. But we chose to keep loving someone, even if we get in a fight or get mad at them. We still make up, and love each other. Chemicals now cant make choices for us. Love is a feeling, but chemicals arent all of that. But what Im saying is, chemicals are part of it, part of the attraction and mutual feeling of trust. But its not at all most or all of it. We chose to love someone, if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, you chose to love them no matter what. You also love them for a multitude of reasons and for no reason! It is not something we can basically explain. Its not a strait forward answer, but to me, why I love her... I dont care, all I care is that I love her, its true feeling and is going to always be there. If Im wrong in this, dont kill me cause of it.

Adding more: Science can never fully explain everything, especially something complex as love. And if you look up "Is love just a chemical reaction" they do not include homosexual relationships in their writings. For the ones I read atleast, so we got a issue there. They only talk about male-female relationships, how that works. Homosexual relationships are between the same sex, they have the same hormones and all. Heterosexual relationships, between male and female are with different hormones. Oh, and we cut out sex in the relationship... Only kissing, hugging, cuddling and such are done... People can be just as close to closer than a couple who has sex! I mean, I dont wanna say "science and chemical reactions in the brain is all love is" cause in truth its not! Love is yes part chemical reactions in the brain, but beyond that it is SOO much more! It cant explain it all, it doesnt work like something so simple. Science cant explain everything, it doesnt know everything! We still dont know so much with the simplest things, even with a frog we dont know everything. But we can slit an atom and destroy square miles of land and things in a mere seconds. Hydrogen bombs do just that. They are more powerful than nuclear bombs, can we explain why a cricket if can survive the winter being frozen solid? Not at all. But people, outside of my spiel and science's explanation have put up extremly good arguments. SCREW YOU SCIENCE! I accept science, it makes sense, but theres a non chemical aspect to it too. They aint changing my mind on this, and I aint gonna look at things any different. Ill forget all this tomarrow, and sorry for me re saying everything over.

[kenoloor]

I hate and like science. Here it explains the literal chemical changes within the brain. Then we have the other part of it, what the link that the poster above you posted. Truthfully the first one, really 99% of the stuff on it I agree with. This major quote you did, I had never seen before but I do well kinda agree with it. I can understand how its a literal chemical change in both peoples brains, and together. Its very interesting. But again chemical changes or reactions in the brain is NOT all that is making us love someone. Its like emotions, they change and come and go but we always chose to go back to being happy for example. We enjoy it, coming from someone suffering from depression all I want is to be happy. Normally Im depressed outta my mind! I dont chose to be, but still. But we chose to keep loving someone, even if we get in a fight or get mad at them. We still make up, and love each other. Chemicals now cant make choices for us. Love is a feeling, but chemicals arent all of that. But what Im saying is, chemicals are part of it, part of the attraction and mutual feeling of trust. But its not at all most or all of it. We chose to love someone, if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, you chose to love them no matter what. You also love them for a multitude of reasons and for no reason! It is not something we can basically explain. Its not a strait forward answer, but to me, why I love her... I dont care, all I care is that I love her, its true feeling and is going to always be there. If Im wrong in this, dont kill me cause of it.

Adding more: Science can never fully explain everything, especially something complex as love. And if you look up "Is love just a chemical reaction" they do not include homosexual relationships in their writings. For the ones I read atleast, so we got a issue there. They only talk about male-female relationships, how that works. Homosexual relationships are between the same sex, they have the same hormones and all. Heterosexual relationships, between male and female are with different hormones. Oh, and we cut out sex in the relationship... Only kissing, hugging, cuddling and such are done... People can be just as close to closer than a couple who has sex! I mean, I dont wanna say "science and chemical reactions in the brain is all love is" cause in truth its not! Love is yes part chemical reactions in the brain, but beyond that it is SOO much more! It cant explain it all, it doesnt work like something so simple. Science cant explain everything, it doesnt know everything! We still dont know so much with the simplest things, even with a frog we dont know everything. But we can slit an atom and destroy square miles of land and things in a mere seconds. Hydrogen bombs do just that. They are more powerful than nuclear bombs, can we explain why a cricket if can survive the winter being frozen solid? Not at all. But people, outside of my spiel and science's explanation have put up extremly good arguments. SCREW YOU SCIENCE! I accept science, it makes sense, but theres a non chemical aspect to it too. They aint changing my mind on this, and I aint gonna look at things any different. Ill forget all this tomarrow, and sorry for me re saying everything over.

Prove it.

[xXJust Jump ItXx]

Prove it.

I cant prove to you this, you have to experience it yourself. Im agnostic cause I dont see any proof god exists. But people still believe in a higher being with all knowing power. They cant prove he exists, thats why they have faith, which is believing in something even if you dont see it or can physically touch it for example.

[kenoloor]

I cant prove to you this, you have to experience it yourself. Im agnostic cause I dont see any proof god exists. But people still believe in a higher being with all knowing power. They cant prove he exists, thats why they have faith, which is believing in something even if you dont see it or can physically touch it for example.

Everything within the human experience has a rational or scientific explanation; we just might not know it yet. Emotions are all simply chemicals in the brain. Love is an emotion. As I already explained in the quote.