Is this hopeless?

[Dawn01]

Oh, yeah, I remember that someone here told me to stop messaging him... And I didn't follow, I tried to phone him then, I sent texts, and had no reply :/

I just can't accept, because I feel like I did something wrong... I mean, he was just my friend, I fell in love for him, we kissed and them he just told me that he was with another person. I wasn't understand a thing since he never told me about this other person, I insisted on give us a try, he asked for a time. I was getting so angry about our situation that I was afraid that would kill our friendship so I forced him to say what was going on, and then he said that he was really with another person and that we couldn't be friends anymore because I didn't gave him time when he asked for it! Why he can't be only friends with me?! I mean, he also said that he gave up because he thought I gave up on being friends with him, but I didn't gave up :(

The only thing that I hadn't tried to do is phone his home, but I'm afraid that I'm being too clingy, but at the same time I feel like I need to show him that I wanted to be friends with him because he thought I didn't want to... Yeah, it's confusing!


So, is there anything more I can do or it's a lost cause?

PS: I know he is with many personal problems... His parent's are divorced, his mother is in hospital (I have her on facebook and well, that's what she said there, and he told me once that she has a serious heart problem), his father seem to be absent in his life and he has a 6 years old sister.

I wish I could just help, I care a lot about him :cry:




EDT: Problem solved guys :D I'm super happy!

[FreeFall]

Really? You see yourself as some victim, and you honestly can't understand how this happened?
You showed to him that you did give up. He asked for time. ALL HE ASKED WAS TIME. But you badgered, you obsessed, you pushed him and pushed him and now look at what you've done.

You pushed him away.
By showing him so much disrespect and not being able to give him time, you gave up on the friendship. You showed him you do NOT care about about him. You couldn't respect his request. You couldn't respect him. You couldn't respect his choice. So he said he was done. And you still don't seem to get it.
You didn't respect anything at all, you were selfish and thoughtless and so focused on yourself. And when he's got so much on his plate? Shame on you.

You want to help? You want to show you care? Listen to him! He's not your's. He is not a toy you can lay claim to. He cannot be your friend and only your friend. He's in a relationship, respect it. He's stressed out, respect him and give him time.
He doesn't want to contact you, respect it and stop being so obsessed.
Do NOT call home! You really want to kill the tiny chance of hope of friendship? If you stop thinking about yourself so much, you'd realize how much you're causing him stress. How much your shoving at him when he's already so swamped!

His plate is full. You're not his main course. You're not even a side dish. You're a napkin, maybe a fork, or an empty cup! His plate is full and you're not on it, stop trying to shove more food onto the pile and let him breathe.

Respect him. Respect his request. It's not about you. He is not about you. Stop trying to force it.

Yes, there is hope but because of your actions the window of hope is very small. Stop forcing him to shut it. In fact, it may be shut. If he says the friendship is dead, LISTEN TO HIM. Think about him for once. Do nothing. It's because you keep doing things that you're here. He's in a relationship. let it be. He wants time, let him be. He wants the friendship to end, let it be.

[Dawn01]

Really? You see yourself as some victim, and you honestly can't understand how this happened?
You showed to him that you did give up. He asked for time. ALL HE ASKED WAS TIME. But you badgered, you obsessed, you pushed him and pushed him and now look at what you've done.

You pushed him away.
By showing him so much disrespect and not being able to give him time, you gave up on the friendship. You showed him you do NOT care about about him. You couldn't respect his request. You couldn't respect him. You couldn't respect his choice. So he said he was done. And you still don't seem to get it.
You didn't respect anything at all, you were selfish and thoughtless and so focused on yourself. And when he's got so much on his plate? Shame on you.

You want to help? You want to show you care? Listen to him! He's not your's. He is not a toy you can lay claim to. He cannot be your friend and only your friend. He's in a relationship, respect it. He's stressed out, respect him and give him time.
He doesn't want to contact you, respect it and stop being so obsessed.
Do NOT call home! You really want to kill the tiny chance of hope of friendship? If you stop thinking about yourself so much, you'd realize how much you're causing him stress. How much your shoving at him when he's already so swamped!

His plate is full. You're not his main course. You're not even a side dish. You're a napkin, maybe a fork, or an empty cup! His plate is full and you're not on it, stop trying to shove more food onto the pile and let him breathe.

Respect him. Respect his request. It's not about you. He is not about you. Stop trying to force it.

Yes, there is hope but because of your actions the window of hope is very small. Stop forcing him to shut it. In fact, it may be shut. If he says the friendship is dead, LISTEN TO HIM. Think about him for once. Do nothing. It's because you keep doing things that you're here. He's in a relationship. let it be. He wants time, let him be. He wants the friendship to end, let it be.

Hey, wait... He asked for a time and I was just trying to understand why! I wasn't sure if he was in a relationship, I would have gave him time if I knew what he was trying to do, I was afraid to hope that he was going to give me a chance and then he would just came to me and say "hey, I am in a relationship"... So why he just hadn't told me that at first?! He just said he liked other person, but when he asked for time I didn't knew anymore what was going on.. I DIDN'T KNEW THAT! FOR REAL, I DIDN'T KNEW THAT AND I MADE HIM CHEAT ON THIS PERSON! Shame on him for not telling me that before, and I would never had let that kiss happen!

Oh God, now I feel like crappy! I thought I was doing the right thing now I just don't know anymore, I don't know who is smothering who. Fuck, I was going to do an important exam at the time, and I was trying to have less worries so I told him to tell me what was going on, I didn't expect that things were going to end this way! :( :( :(


Man, I fucking hate myself :cry: I've listened some rumors that his relationship already got wrong... Just fuck, I couldn't live in that "friends with benefits" thing, I was trying to save the friendship in my way of doing it, since I was getting angry because I wasn't understand a thing!



***MAJOR UPDATE***: My mother saw me crying at the computer and she asked about what happened. I told her everything, and SHE JUST PHONED THE GUY!! She talked to him, and then she gave me the phone and I talked to him, he told me his mother had to do 3 heart cirurgies and that his life was a chaos now! I told him about how I was feeling and he forgave me, he said the he never wanted to fight with me and didn't want things to be like this between us. He said to talk to him again during vacation, and then we are going to hang out and talk better about the things that happened.

I AM SOOO HAPPY!! :wave: I don't care if we are ever going to date, I'm just happy because I have an amazing friend <3

[FreeFall]

You still don't get it.

He asked for time. It does not matter what for. He didn't have to tell you a thing, you're not exactly entitled to a reason. What he did was ask for time, and that's all you needed to know and do. He cheated. Not you. He's a shit friend and shit boyfriend for that, but still, he didn't need to tell you why he needed time. Time is for space and thinking, not for the other person to know. So no, no shame on him.

It sucks you want answers but you won't always get your way or closure. It still isn't your place, sorry to say.

[Dawn01]

You still don't get it.

He asked for time. It does not matter what for. He didn't have to tell you a thing, you're not exactly entitled to a reason. What he did was ask for time, and that's all you needed to know and do. He cheated. Not you. He's a shit friend and shit boyfriend for that, but still, he didn't need to tell you why he needed time. Time is for space and thinking, not for the other person to know. So no, no shame on him.

It sucks you want answers but you won't always get your way or closure. It still isn't your place, sorry to say.

Well, what matters is that things are ok now! He asked again for time and now I'll gave to him. I know we both did mistakes, but now at least things are ok, he's sorry and I'm sorry too :yes:

Before you say that he is a jerk, I kissed him first. We were flirting for a long time, and I don't blame him at all, we are both teens and our hormons are crazy, he just let it all happen and then felt really sorry. I forgive him ^^

[FreeFall]

Oh wow. Wow is all I can say.

Well, at least you're happy for now. How sad though, your mommy fought your battles. Your mommy called him. Your mommy stuck her nose into where it shouldn't have been. In the future, handle your own relationships and deals like a big girl.

And he is a jerk. Wheter you like it or not. So you kissed him first? I just brushed my hair. He was the one who is with a girlfriend. He's in a commitment. He cheated in my eyes, doesn't matter your role because you didn't know. He had an emotional affair with you by the sounds of it, all that flirting and
deep connection". I'm sure everything will be ok the next time he cheats, like the other girl iniated the sex so all's just fine! Doesn't work like that, stop fooling yourself.

Is everything really ok or are you sweeping it under the rug because he's speaking to you? Because you got your way? You again, this time with mom's help, disrespected him, but got lucky this time. You should've given him the chance to come to you himself and not have to be forced through your mommy calling because her baby girl's crying.
The problems will remain and maybe even grow until you address and work on them.
For now, listen to him. Again, think about him. Not how you feel. Not how hurt you were. Your feelings at this point, come last. Remember that.

[Stronk Serb]

Honestly, I would give my friend of the opposite gender time if she asked for it, I would not ask questions why or start calling her daily, I would only ask if I did something wrong, no matter the response I would still respect the decision. You made a terrible mistake, he is a jerk for kissing with you, without telling you to stop or pushing you away the kiss part is not your problem since you did not know, but he cheated.