Break Up Over Weed?

[yankeefan7723]

So my girlfriend, or I guess ex-girlfriend, and I had been together for a month and before that had talked for a month as well. She smokes both weed and cigarettes. She wants to quit the cigarettes and I can honestly work around that, but the weed I cannot. She broke up with me 2 days ago because she wasn't happy anymore. She felt as though she was a disappointment to me and that she doesn't make me happy anymore. But she does make me happy, insanely happy. I'm beginning to miss her more each day. We've agreed to talk in person and she's continued to mention that she loves me and misses me, but she's confused about what she wants and she doesn't know what to do anymore. She said she just needs time to think. She also mentioned "it's just hard" and I asked her what was hard. She responded "This. Us. Everything. idk."

She genuinely cares about me and I care about her. Other than the weed we're amazingly happy together. The reason she feels like a disappointment is because I act distant or out of place when she smokes with her friends because that's almost all we did is hang out with her friends and smoke. I've told her how I feel and she's told me multiple times she's not changing her routine or quitting weed for me or anyone but herself. My family and friends have told me if she really loved me she would quit and I plan to explain that to her. I just don't want to throw away a good thing because of this. I used to smoke and I gave it up after 3-4 highs.

I even thought about compromises like she smokes when I'm not around or if she wants to get high with her friends on Friday I'll let her do that on her own then Saturday we can do something we both like, but at the same time I feel like I'm caving too much. I'm unsure of what to do. Opinions are greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time. BTW I'm 18, she's 17.

[Apollo.]

I agree with your family and friends man, when you really love soneone you would give up something as trivial as weed to be with them in a heartbeat. No offence intended but even though most people are quite mature at 17, she might not be mature enough to hold down the kind of relationship you want with her. I do hope everything goes well when you talk to her though I know what it can be like not having the person you love.

[yankeefan7723]

I agree with your family and friends man, when you really love soneone you would give up something as trivial as weed to be with them in a heartbeat. No offence intended but even though most people are quite mature at 17, she might not be mature enough to hold down the kind of relationship you want with her. I do hope everything goes well when you talk to her though I know what it can be like not having the person you love.

You make a lot of sense and so does everyone else. I just hope she has a huge change of heart or something and just gives it up by some miracle, but I don't think she's right for me anymore. :(

[FreeFall]

Noo! Do NOT, do NOT pull that "If you loved me" card. It's manipulation and just rude. If you loved me, you'd play in traffic. If you loved me you'd have sex with me whenever I wanted. If you loved me, you'd give into my every whim. If she loved you, she would have quit for you yes, but she's already aware of that. She knows already, she knows why the relationship fails, she just does not care. She's already laid it down that she's going to pick a plant, being high, over you.

She's already decided who her boyfriend is, and it's not you, it's pot.

It's taking over her life. She evolves herself around her habit. She has no room in it for you.
All you did as a couple, a couple, was hang with her friends and smoke? There was no grilfriend or boyfriend time? There was only girlfriend, smoking, boyfriend time? She's a selfish, immature, teenager that cannot be in a relationship at this time in her life because she's in love with pot. It doesn't matter who it is, it could be a fellow pot head. They'd eventually fall out over sharing weed, who gets the weed, who took too much weed, and who did what when high. Not all weed smokers are like her, weed is also my deal breaker for any relationship, she's just a bad kind of pot head. The selfish, slef centered, weed is my world kind.

You told her how you feel. Response: looooool I'm not changing for anyone but me! 4/11 and cigs maaaan! Suck it up dearest boyfriend!
You two are supposedly so caring to each other: Lol fuck my boyfriend he's all sad I smoke and won't quit for him. I love him but damn, love my weed forever! Me, me, me, me!
You break up, she knows why: You're all sad I smoke weed, and I'm all sad because you're harshing my weed high. So here's what I'll do, weed is what I'm keeping, you're what I'm leaving. Bye-bye!

She knows. She knows eaxcatly why, what and how. You can't say anything she doesn't already know, you can say things for your piece of mind but I highly doubt it'll work in your favor.
I'm sorry but it's probably the best for you, emotionally and mentally, to throw the weed back into the garden and go find a flower.

[CharlieFinley]

Noo! Do NOT, do NOT pull that "If you loved me" card. It's manipulation and just rude. If you loved me, you'd play in traffic. If you loved me you'd have sex with me whenever I wanted. If you loved me, you'd give into my every whim. If she loved you, she would have quit for you yes, but she's already aware of that. She knows already, she knows why the relationship fails, she just does not care. She's already laid it down that she's going to pick a plant, being high, over you.

She's already decided who her boyfriend is, and it's not you, it's pot.

It's taking over her life. She evolves herself around her habit. She has no room in it for you.
All you did as a couple, a couple, was hang with her friends and smoke? There was no grilfriend or boyfriend time? There was only girlfriend, smoking, boyfriend time? She's a selfish, immature, teenager that cannot be in a relationship at this time in her life because she's in love with pot. It doesn't matter who it is, it could be a fellow pot head. They'd eventually fall out over sharing weed, who gets the weed, who took too much weed, and who did what when high. Not all weed smokers are like her, weed is also my deal breaker for any relationship, she's just a bad kind of pot head. The selfish, slef centered, weed is my world kind.

You told her how you feel. Response: looooool I'm not changing for anyone but me! 4/11 and cigs maaaan! Suck it up dearest boyfriend!
You two are supposedly so caring to each other: Lol fuck my boyfriend he's all sad I smoke and won't quit for him. I love him but damn, love my weed forever! Me, me, me, me!
You break up, she knows why: You're all sad I smoke weed, and I'm all sad because you're harshing my weed high. So here's what I'll do, weed is what I'm keeping, you're what I'm leaving. Bye-bye!

She knows. She knows eaxcatly why, what and how. You can't say anything she doesn't already know, you can say things for your piece of mind but I highly doubt it'll work in your favor.
I'm sorry but it's probably the best for you, emotionally and mentally, to throw the weed back into the garden and go find a flower.

+1. And then plus another one for the rhetorical flourish at the end. And then minus one-half because it's "4/20."

Pretty much this. Weed isn't physically addictive, and in most cases doesn't even promote psychological dependence. If she won't quit for you, it's not because she can't or because it's hard, it's because she doesn't want to.

[Stronk Serb]

FreeFall is right, I would break up with her, I do not like the smell of weed, so if she does not want to stop ruining herself, even for sake of your relationship, there is nothing you can do. She pretty much broke up with you when she chose weed over you.

[Drew5]

guess she likes weeds. i'm not that big a fan of weeds tho. they grow faster than the rest of the lawn or make flower beds look bad, so why she likes them is just weird.

ooooohhhhhh like marijuana? Oh. Then ya got no shot if she's addicted. She'll stop when she wants and if you give her an ultimatum, be prepared for her to not choose you. Maybe just see if it's a phase and then say like austin powers, i don't do phases.

[revengekills]

You cannot become addicted to weed. Sorry its not possible scientists have proven it. Nor is it a gateway "drug"! It's a dried plant come on guys

[ackmedsgirl666]

well even though you cannot get addicted your body will ake you to believe you are and you will get cravings same as smoking cigarettes. also keep in mind if you decided to quit weed cold turkey your body will experience withdrawl symptoms same as coming off of cocaine, meth, ectasy etc