Confused.

[LoveMe_HateMe]

I hate these conflicting thoughts surrounding my ex. Don't get me wrong, I'm in an amazing relationship and I love my girlfriend and I'd never get back with my ex but when ever I see him or hear about him I get all the memories come flooding back of what he did - it's been nearly two years and I still haven't forgiven him for what he did, but I get the memories... mainly the bad ones but today I saw hI'm and I had the good memories. The shock of seeing him left me shaking. I don't even known why.

I seem to be stuck in the past with my feelings... I guess I'm not over him, well I am overhim, just not what he did to me and how it ended. How do I over come it? How do I forget... I''llnever forgive him. I just hate my reactions when I see him.

Why cant things be simple.

[ackmedsgirl666]

i have to say its definately not easy. its been almost 11 months for me since me and my ex broke up and getting over him was very hard... sometimes i still get feelings too and think of him but then i think how would it serve me any better.. after all he put me through and did to me he wasnt the one for me.. basically you have to think of the pros and cons- did he make you happy. was he faithful.. did he love you and only you.. or did he leave you feeling like shit and did he abuse the relationship.. and judging by what you have just told us your happy in your current relationship but you still have feelings for you ex. you say your over him... well sounds to me like your not and you have some serious thinking to do....
anyways PM me if you wanna talk or tell me more

[LoveMe_HateMe]

i have to say its definately not easy. its been almost 11 months for me since me and my ex broke up and getting over him was very hard... sometimes i still get feelings too and think of him but then i think how would it serve me any better.. after all he put me through and did to me he wasnt the one for me.. basically you have to think of the pros and cons- did he make you happy. was he faithful.. did he love you and only you.. or did he leave you feeling like shit and did he abuse the relationship.. and judging by what you have just told us your happy in your current relationship but you still have feelings for you ex. you say your over him... well sounds to me like your not and you have some serious thinking to do....
anyways PM me if you wanna talk or tell me more

Yes he made me happy until he lost his trust in me. Yes he was faithful - to my knowledge, I asked him once he and he denies ever cheating on me. Yes, he loved me. From the look I saw today I think he still has feelings for me... or at least he wants to watch things up.. I don't know. Towards the end of the relationship, he did make me feel like shit. Complete and utter shit to the point that I was cutting more often and panic when he ffound out - I still panic and flinch now when people touch my scars/cuts.

I know I'll never get back with him. I can't forgive what he's done and ex's are ex's for a reason. He wasn't the one for me but I think I'll always have feelings for him... he was my first serious relationship, the person I lost my virginity to, the first person I kissed, the first person I fell in love with.

I want to forget but it's hard to when every where I go I have memories of something we did in the past etc.

[FreeFall]

You've got to forgive him. Your resentmnet are your shackles. If you keep them, it'll only get worse. Forgiveness is for you, set yourself free. Forgiveness is NOT to forget. Don't you ever confuse that. He doesn't have to know you've forgiven him, no one but you does. Avoid being near him. Sounds like you're still in a bad place. Those feelings and memories will make you volatile. That's why you need to avoid and forgive him. You'll end up doing something you will regret and then you will have trouble forgiving yourself.

Forgiveness is never and never will be for the one who hurt you. Forgiveness is only and always bbe e for the oe who was wronged.

[DerBear]

After reading the first post I was going to mention exactly what FreeFall said.

You have been in this relationship and it ended badly but your resentment has kept you close to him, like FreeFall said, its your shackles. My suggestion would be that you start to, not forgive him completely and become best mates, but to be mutual, what I mean is, have an understanding, forgive him to an extent and you'll find it will become easier. Our hatred or dislike of someone drives us, it makes us annoyed, it brings memories to the fore front of our minds.

By forgiving him you are one step closer to putting it behind you.

Never forget, but forgive and you'll find you don't get angry, you don't get sad and only then will you have put this fully in the past.

[ackmedsgirl666]

yes he made me happy until he lost his trust in me. Yes he was faithful - to my knowledge, i asked him once he and he denies ever cheating on me. Yes, he loved me. From the look i saw today i think he still has feelings for me... Or at least he wants to watch things up.. I don't know. Towards the end of the relationship, he did make me feel like shit. Complete and utter shit to the point that i was cutting more often and panic when he ffound out - i still panic and flinch now when people touch my scars/cuts.

I know i'll never get back with him. I can't forgive what he's done and ex's are ex's for a reason. He wasn't the one for me but i think i'll always have feelings for him... He was my first serious relationship, the person i lost my virginity to, the first person i kissed, the first person i fell in love with.

I want to forget but it's hard to when every where i go i have memories of something we did in the past etc.


it was hard for me too. My ex was my first as well... But eventually you learn to forgive, forget, let go, and move on

[LoveMe_HateMe]

But how do I forgive him? I'd always said that I would never forgive him. I don't jniw how to forgive...

[FreeFall]

You accept the past.

I know it's going to sound shitty but you've got to sit yourself down and say fuck it. what happened, happened.

It'll never change. You can be angry, but what happened has happened. You can be bitter, but what happened has happened. it will not change, you cannot change it, and no matter what you do it will always have occured. It happened.

So stop dragging it with you. It was awhile back, and you're with someone that's not him. Stop dragging what he did around with you. Let it go, put it down, and leave it where it happened, in the past. You can be angry all you want but you'll only be hurting yourself and those around you. You cannot change it, you can only accept it and stop forcing yourself to carry it. Set yourself free from it, you're only hurting yourself and you'll put yourself in a painful emotional and mental state.

Again, you do not have to forget. I'm not saying forget. I'm saying just sort of pick up a rock, put the past into the rock, say fuck you to the rock that you've put your feelings and past into, and chuck that rock. If it doesn't go far, chase it, pick it up, and throw it again. Keep throwing that rock until you feel satisfied or lose it.

[LoveMe_HateMe]

Thank you guys for the comments and advice and stuff :)

I don't know how but I think I'm slowly starting to forgive him, I ended up talking to him last night about random shit.... still not quite sure if it was a good idea or not. I just hope it wasn't a mistake and that I'll regret it... I guess only time will tell :/