I'm crying my eyes out

[survivor]

I hate family, I always have and yesterday was thanksgiving, which means today I'm stressed out. I get on here when I'm stressed. I wrote a new poem and started looking through my old stuff. Now I can't stop thinking "why?" I swear there's like some hurricane going on in my head and I have the past few years stuck in my mind. I feel like the weight of the world including depression, injuries, catastrophes, hospitals, doctors, relapses, and other shit is pressing on my shoulders. I can't sit with my family for long because I feel guilty; they don't know half the shit that has happened in my life. Right now I just feel at the lowest of the low. No one knows my whole story and only my few closest know much. I honestly don't know who to go to, my two best friends now live out of state.

[Discomposure]

It sounds like you need to find somebody you can confide in. Someone you can really trust. Whether it be someone on here, a friend, close relative or even a professional (don't knock them til you've tried!).
I'm just saying, from this post it seems like you've been through something/s and they need to be spoken about. Otherwise, it will eat you up whatever it is, it's clearly not going away so get it out.
You never know, the person you talk to may be able to help you, in more ways than you think!
Here if you need to talk, just PM me.

[survivor]

I've only ever truly confided in one person, and her twin brother listened in over the line and told everyone at my school about me a few years ago. Also, one guy who was my friend started trying to get me to go to a doctor for months when he heard my story. People I tell my whole, or most of my story to ruin my life.

Actually that's not 100% accurate. One guy I used to be friends with and had been through something similar to me nows my story, mostly.

[TaylrJ]

What you defiantly need to do is tell somebody all of this so that they can help. Not what you just said here. More detailed and tell them more about your life. First, I want you to start over, just forget about how all your friends betrayed you by telling everyone about your story. That was really mean and I would never trust someone, ever, if they did that to me. So just start over and don't worry about what your friends did to you in the past. You have to keep in mind that not everyone would do something like that to you. You also have to find SOMEBODY that you can trust. Somebody that wouldn't tell a single person. Not how your friends did in the past. Also, you have to make sure that whoever you tell can help you up front. Instead of just telling you to see a doctor. That is just being lazy and it is not helping you at all. So before you tell someone, make sure you can trust them 100% and also make sure that THEY can help you themselves. One more thing, make sure it is someone you have built a trusting relationship with over a period of time. I would really like to help you out more so if you need me to, message me.