I really want to die right now

[Axw_JD]

To post this on thanksgiving of all days... guess its actually a contributing factor to feeling so damn low right now... spending the whole night on my own isn't what I would call a good way to spend thanksgiving, and it just keeps getting worse...

I don't know what to do... I just know I don't really want to live much longer, I don't feel like there's much of a point. I don't even know what to put here, I'm just in my room, crying, trying to sleep or something... :(

[TheSocialInspector]

If you have nothing to do, why don't you buy a video game or go out and exercise? About your isolation, it's pretty understandable since isolation is considered to be around the radius of physical pain.

What is ideal is you hang out with your family or just make friends and if you do have friends, go talk to them or something.

[Shaka]

So I hope that by the time you get this you're feeling better. It can be hard to be strong when our tribe is faraway and nonexistent and family and social joins are weak and pethetic.

All I can say with some certainty is that it will get better again. Things are always changing and a year from now could be quite fun, exciting, and well worth living for. I know what some of the bottoms of the bottomless pit of suffering and defeat can be, but I felt them less often as the years wore on, with real good times and allot of medium-not bad times inbetween. I can say that you'll probably face this for a time, and then face it again, and again if you're not into a community for awhile, but then as you grow older you will become tough and less effected by things like this, and, for a long you'll have all the opportunity to reach and receive some of the most splendid and exciting challenges, adventures, feelings, opportunities, and lessons that you could ever imagine.

The best things in life aren't things, and you almost never see them coming before they arrive around the corner or out of the blue,but before then, in dark days and bleak weeks you've just got some time to prepare.


Go for a run or chart up some poetry, go watch something about people, psychology, society or nature. All you may have is time to prepare and to heal yourself so that one day when the climates change and the people you meet are caring, love you, and invite you into their fold then you'll be glad for being alive and ready.

So if you feel energetic or angry, go take a sprint and a run around, and if you're feeling alone, go down to the coffee shop or somewhere social during the days by foot. Reduce the negatives and strengthen yourself because this will change and times will come to you that are better if you keep on.

[Axw_JD]

Trust me I really don't need to be encouraged to go out and buy more games... it isn't me not having anything to do.

As for isolation, yeah thats the main problem I think. It just doesn't work out... I try as hard as I can to make friends, and most of the time I end up with people that just use and discard me and don't really care about me. I do have someone who I consider my best (and tbh my only) friend, but I am too afraid of losing his friendship to completely open up to him... I had typed up a text to ask him for help, to just talk, but I stopped myself...

[Mortal Coil]

Hey, hopefully you're starting to feel better, but I know that depression doesn't work like that, so I just want to say that you are important. You are significant. You have people who love you and you don't even realize it at times. Are you currently on any medication that may make you feel this way? It sounds dumb, but depression is at least partially a chemical imbalance, so it's important to make sure that you don't have anything making it extra hard on you.

You have my full support and can talk to me any time. Best wishes :hug:

[Axw_JD]

I just wanted to add that today wasn't really that much better either. Nothing hurts more than being told how little everyone really cares... and I think I agree, I am just a waste of time, space, air and money :(

[survivor]

No one is a waste. We were put on this earth for a reason, and each of us has a contribution even if we don't yet realize it. You should talk to your friend, but maybe don't say everything in one sitting. Getting through depression is tough, but when you get support it is like the world is lifted off your shoulders.