Drama making me want to cut again...

[Fallen Angels]

Long story short, I was dating this girl online and felt like online dating was messing with my head because I never know who is really talking to me, and I was hiding it from my parents who think online relationships are stupid... So, I told her we should just stay friends because I have stuff in my life I should work out. I feel like for once, I was going with my head and not my feelings. (So, I could fix my life) But, I can't stop thinking about her now. It makes me sad. I wish I could just find someone in real life but I don't think I'm even allowed to date. I can't help that I feel so lonely. I miss when I didn't care about dating. :/

I also, decided to try and stop cutting. This loneliness is making me want to start again, plus I see my best friend (who I used to like and still do) with her boyfriend (we almost dated but she didn't actually like me), and she is the only one I talk to about my depression... there is drama with work , and I still hate pretending like I'm okay when I'm not! I try so hard to stay strong. I try SO hard to help everyone. I try to help myself. But, I just can't take this... it's to much. I was depressed before and all this doesn't help. At all. :what:

[Jason The Great]

look..there's always a key to solve problems....it doesnt matter how big is ur problem you should have faith...Analyze your problem's details and think carefully...you are ur own Consultant.find out the best answer then follow it...i hope this help you out ;)

[TheSocialInspector]

I'm sorry to hear that. Keep going strong, friend, you know you can.

[Noirtier]

I know what it's like to want to go back to self harm, I really do. It's hard, I know that it is. The best thing to do with that is try and distract yourself from the cravings for it. Read books, watch tv, do art or write, get your feelings out in some other way. Talk to your friend about it, but also try talking to a counselor. With all that's been going on for you, I think that they would be able to help much more than any of us can, or any of your friends can. They're trained to help with these kinds of things, and they want to help you. I know what its like to be lonely, to always put on a fake smile, all of that stuff. The best thing I think you can do is try going to a professional to talk out your problems for a bit. Whether you do or don't, know that all of us here care about you and will always be here to support you! :hug:

[Fallen Angels]

I couldn't take it... thanks for trying though :/ But, now the cuts are getting a little deeper and bigger. And, I did it on my arm >_< I know I said a part of me wants someone to find out but I don't really want that. I never had a problem hiding them because I always chose easy to hide places. Not sure what I'm going to do :/ I wanted to stay strong. I hope this doesn't make me weak... I feel bad now. I don't usually. This is bleh.