Don't know how to cope...

[LoveMe_HateMe]

Everything is kicking off at the moment, my parents, my girlfriends parents, her brother, college, work. Everything seems to be going wrong at the moment. I don't know how to cope in a sensible way.

I only know the blade. I'm scared I'm going to lose it tonight/ Lose control tonight, I nearly did last week and it scared me. I don't want to be like this... But it's the only thing I know, it's the only thing I'm good at.

I don't know what to do. I don't know I'm doing anymore. Everyday is just a blur. Just going through each day on autopilot.

[Twistember]

I know how you feel, because I feel the same way. I, too, feel like the only thing I'm good at is hurting myself. You just have to find a distraction. When I want to cut, I look at pictures of cute kittens on the internet. Cats may not be your thing, but try to find something else that interests you. For example, you could try writing about the way you feel. It probably sounds really cliche, but trust me. It works.

[Angbdxgf]

Take it one step at a time. Look at everything, one at a time. Take each day, one minute at time.

The key is one. Not zero, not two, one.

Think of cutting(not of the deed but the behaviour). You are intelligent enough to figure out that cutting will not solve the problems you are facing but only make you think you have i.e- create an illusion. Does it help? no it doesfuckingnot. You begin with a problem and end end with bleeding. scars, self-loathing, guilt and a week or two of secrecy.

Now think of not cutting(again, not the deed, the behaviour) You are more than intelligent enough to solve the problems you are facing. Look at them individually, try your best to find a solution, and you know what? If it doesnt work out? Screw it :D Maybe it just wasnt meant to be! Or maybe whoever else was mean to be in the solution just isnnt. Either way, YOU HAVE DONE YOUR BEST. Rest easy. You began with a problem, you found a solution, you move on with your life. Or you begin with a problem, you TRY finding a solution but even if you DONT find one, YOU STILL MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.

Consider your two options. Now think. Really think. With your brain and your heart. Not just one or the other. Which is the better option for YOU?

[LoveMe_HateMe]

I know how you feel, because I feel the same way. I, too, feel like the only thing I'm good at is hurting myself. You just have to find a distraction. When I want to cut, I look at pictures of cute kittens on the internet. Cats may not be your thing, but try to find something else that interests you. For example, you could try writing about the way you feel. It probably sounds really cliche, but trust me. It works.

I've tried distracting myself ect, but it doesn't always work for me - sometimes I don't have time to think when I cut... It's like I don't have control of my body, I get up do eberything that needs to be done, sit down and then bam, I'm cutting. I don't know its weird. So, my point - distracting myself is difficult when I don't feel like myself... If that even makes sense.

Take it one step at a time. Look at everything, one at a time. Take each day, one minute at time.

The key is one. Not zero, not two, one.

Think of cutting(not of the deed but the behaviour). You are intelligent enough to figure out that cutting will not solve the problems you are facing but only make you think you have i.e- create an illusion. Does it help? no it doesfuckingnot. You begin with a problem and end end with bleeding. scars, self-loathing, guilt and a week or two of secrecy.

Now think of not cutting(again, not the deed, the behaviour) You are more than intelligent enough to solve the problems you are facing. Look at them individually, try your best to find a solution, and you know what? If it doesnt work out? Screw it :D Maybe it just wasnt meant to be! Or maybe whoever else was mean to be in the solution just isnnt. Either way, YOU HAVE DONE YOUR BEST. Rest easy. You began with a problem, you found a solution, you move on with your life. Or you begin with a problem, you TRY finding a solution but even if you DONT find one, YOU STILL MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.

Consider your two options. Now think. Really think. With your brain and your heart. Not just one or the other. Which is the better option for YOU?

I try and take stuff each daya as it comes, but it's difficult.

See, both my heart and head say two different things, my heart says don't cut but my brain says cut.

I've never been that good at problem solving - well not with my own problems. I can't just try and solve it - if I fail, I'll go down the 'what if' route and then stress about that....

EIther way I'm fucked :/

Thanks guys for the support though.

[survivor]

I used to cut, scratch, and stab my body; I even would sick thorns and pins in myself. I knew I needed a way to cope so here's what I did.

I put my razors on top of my medicine cabinet. Then I put paper on my counter and a pen with my razors so that I could write before I cut.

When I started writing it was like I was in a different universe and half the time I wouldn't cut that day.

Try putting something near your razors as a distraction, but put it where you would see the distraction before the razors. It worked for me, maybe it can work for you.