Annoying friend

[KarkatLuv]

I have a friend (friend A)that keeps on complaining about another friend (Friend B)of mine behind her back to me.

B seems to have some issues with trust and confidence, like she's always asking me if she is a backstabber, if I hate her and if she's asking my opinion on something she's done and I say it's good she says "really?" like she dosn't think she did good herself.

B found out about A saying things and had a breakdown and isn't trusting her "friends" but dosn't want me to tell A.

B is the sort of person to think I'm a horrible friend if I ignore her telling me not to say anything and she would probably stop being my friend alltogether. How can I make my annoying friend (friend A) stop saying things.

A is a little bigger and it seems like the only way for her to feel good about herself is to say things about others, she does this about quite a few people but B is taking it to heart.

The next time A starts complaining about anyone when there is no justification I think I might just walk away for a while, because that was one of the reasons why I started hating someone else near the end of last year and I don't want a repeat. Do you think me doing that is a good idea?

[Noirtier]

People like that are never fun, I'll be honest. If you're really that fed up of her complaining and she refuses to stop, I think it is perfectly acceptable to just walk away from her next time she starts doing it. If you've tried communicating with her in other ways, and she won't listen, then it's time to send her a message that she can't ignore. Hopefully that will slap her in the face a little and she will realize that talking bad about people all the time will get her no where in life, and actually offends the people she talks to and those she talks about.

[KarkatLuv]

Thanks I disgussed the idea of walking away with one of the other friends that I hang with, he thought it was a good idea also so if this happens again then we are just going to walk away. Thanks for advice :D

[FreeFall]

They both sound irritating.

Person B sounds like she has 0 self esteem, 0 self confidence and is a co-dependent person always looking to others to coddle her and make her feel validated in her life. Like a grown baby, ugh. And if you don't speak to her she has herself a hissy fit of a melt down? Really? How old is she and when is she going to mature and stop clinging to others to feel safe and like she has a place? Why're you letting her be a leech?
Why don't you stop shielding her and help her become independent and strong? Coddling her will only make her weak and set her up for failure when you can't be there for her.

Person A, why're you focusing on their weight? Because they're bigger than some, they're mean? Or are you certain that they feel self conscious about their weight and therefore take it out on others? Not that what she's doing is right, but why're you so quick to jump on that boat. Can you clarify?
You don't sound like a prize all yourself if you're targeting the weight of someone already self conscious about it.

Person A sounds pretty validated to me. Honestly, I feel a bit bad for person A with how you've described everything here.

We have whiny, clingy, cry baby friend that everyone loves and adores and lets drink from a bottle and suck on their pinky. Then we have Person A who probably wants love herself but everyone think she's a big, tough girl that can handle herself and they're too busy catering to Person B. So she lashes out, she wants to be loved too. She's bigger, people probably let her know she's bigger, she's aware she's bigger most likely. So she thinks people won't treat her like they do B because she's bigger. She's going to be hated because she's bigger. No one likes her because she's bigger.
She's bitter. She's acting the only way she knows how because that's the only way people have shown her to be. Everything goes B's way, everyone loves B but hates the big girl.
No one ever tries to love the big girl and so she keeps putting her walls up and pushing people away hoping for someone to just come along, maybe complain with her, maybe give her a reason to stop complaining.

But no. Everyone hates the whiny, fat girl. But everyone love the whiny, co-dependent one. There's some serious issues all around, with all involved.

Yea, walk away from her. Focus on yourself and do what you need. I'm only able to go on what you've said, but I'm seeing odd sides of the fence and only you can make whatever call you feel is right.

[FergusDunn]

Yes I do - just walk away -

sometimes we really have to let our friends know what we think and be honest with them - there is no point in you trying to live with the issues others have -

I have one real good friend now that 2 years ago I just dumped because of his issues and what he would constantly say - it took him a while but he realised wjat pissed me off and if he wanted my friendship he had to change.