internet addiction

[mynameisjane]

i never had a boyfriend, havent had a close friend in a long time, and my family doesnt like talking to me. i feel i cant relate well to people i talk to at school. the family i live with, my brother in law and sister, want me to move out soon. its scary to think of having to stand on my own two feet in just a few months. I go on VT everyday and listen to other people's problems and post my own. it makes me feel not as lonely, like people needs me and people care about my problems. i also go on myspace constantly to see if i have a new message and i get excited when i do, no matter how minor. i often find myself devoting hours online. it comes before my homework and sleep. i know its not healthy because it effects my grades and i'm always sleepy, but i feel happy when i'm online. i know i need to change but i dont know how. everytime i get off and go back to homework, all i can think about is, "what if they replied already?" what do i do?

[Whisper]

i have no idea how ud fix that
cause i'm havin the same problem
i've been trying to leave vt for a bit now
i figured if i retired that'd kinda be the no going bck gtfo kinda thing

...but nope

[Archduke Robert of France]

Really? I have the opposite problem. I'm not on VT enough. I guess I just keep a favorites tab and only visit the sites I have there. Once I've absorbed as much information as I can, I wander around the house doing nothing special. If you still want to burn free time, you can search for colleges (although that might aggrivate your problem, and you may have already found one), look for cool recipes for new things, cook something, etc. I make pizza from scratch whevever I get bored, of course now I'm out of flour.

[mynameisjane]

yeah, i've already found a college. i actually do cook, and i spend too much time looking at recipes. its not that i dont have better things to do. the internet is keeping me from doing those important things. i cant get anything done because i can't get away from the computer.

[RaisingSand]

The way I see it you could be compensating a bit, replacing the internet with human social interaction. :/
And yeah, I'm not too sure how you'd really fix that sorry. :( :hug:

[Archduke Robert of France]

yeah, i've already found a college. i actually do cook, and i spend too much time looking at recipes. its not that i dont have better things to do. the internet is keeping me from doing those important things. i cant get anything done because i can't get away from the computer.

Well, seeing as hwo you cook, you can join a club at school or something that does catering, etc.

At my school, we have a cooking club and we make cakes for weddings and such really often. When I go back to school after the break next week, we're going to be starting up a restaurant, so I plan to devote a large portion of my free time to that. At home, you can bake cakes - small cakes, of course - for your friend's birthdays. That's what I do. You could also work at a restaurant, assuming you don't already have a job. I work in the kitchen at a hotel with the pastry chef, so that's always something fun. I make more than my dad and get better benefits than my mom. :D Something to get you out of the house.

[byee]

I cook too! My family runs and hides when i suggest i make something, though. This is a real statement given how busy everyone is, so you'd think they'd really appreciate the gesture. But no. I'd be insulted if I wasn't so embarrassed. If you ever see smoke coming from the general vicinity of NYC, don't worry. It's just me starting a small kitchen fire. Accidentally.

Anyway, you cannot become addicted to the net like you can, say, heroin or cigarettes. But, we all have a basic need to connect emotionally, and if there's a lack of connectedness in real time, then we look for it elsewhere. And online is a very convienent place to make connections, even if they are anonymous. So, you're looking for it on facebook or VT makes perfect sense. But the issue is finding it real time, where it's real.

There are alot of ways to connect with similiar minded people, certainly thru common interests (hopefully you won't be subjected to the same kind of abuse I get about my cooking abilities!), but really just by getting out there and experiencing life. It's filled with people just like you. Go find them. jut be open to them. Be as friendly and available as you are here. You're the same person, afterall.

You're already 'standing on your own 2 feet'. You just might need to move them in the direction you need to go. You have all the skills you need to get there.

[mynameisjane]

NYC is my favoritest place in the world! i just visited last summer. its so much fun there!

yeah, i need to find people. but its wierd, people i meet that seem a lot like me i worry won't like me. so i only start talking to people who seem nerdier than me. like people who are younger than me, or people who act a little odd, or obsessed gamers who have never talked to a girl. so i pretty much only make friends with people who i dont really like hanging around. i know its narrow minded that i judge people because i'm afraid of being judged, but i dont know how to overcome it. its harder for me to open up to people who i feel i can relate to because if they think like me, then they probably think i'm a looser. then i also have a problem with forgiving people. if someone does something to upset me, i keep it to myself. and if they keep upsetting me, it all builds up until one day i tell them i dont want to talk to them anymore. this is how i lose the friends that i actually like. so idk i'm all kinds of wierd. but online i can be myself without being embarassed. online no one upsets me because they dont really know me. theres no real commitment. theres always someone to listen to my problems.

[byee]

NYC is my favoritest place in the world! i just visited last summer. its so much fun there!

yeah, i need to find people. but its wierd, people i meet that seem a lot like me i worry won't like me. so i only start talking to people who seem nerdier than me. like people who are younger than me, or people who act a little odd, or obsessed gamers who have never talked to a girl. so i pretty much only make friends with people who i dont really like hanging around. i know its narrow minded that i judge people because i'm afraid of being judged, but i dont know how to overcome it. its harder for me to open up to people who i feel i can relate to because if they think like me, then they probably think i'm a looser. then i also have a problem with forgiving people. if someone does something to upset me, i keep it to myself. and if they keep upsetting me, it all builds up until one day i tell them i dont want to talk to them anymore. this is how i lose the friends that i actually like. so idk i'm all kinds of wierd. but online i can be myself without being embarassed. online no one upsets me because they dont really know me. theres no real commitment. theres always someone to listen to my problems.

Yeah, NYC is the Center of the Universe (this, perhaps, is the only bit of immodesty I indulge in). We love showing our fair City to tourists(always capitalized, btw, as in 'You coming into the the City'?, the best to seperate it form 'mere' cities). I'm glad you enjoyed your visit!

I understand what you're saying here about feeling like a fraud. But, my response to that is that is a very personal, absolutely private (and probably very erroneous and entirely neurotic) outlook on yourself. No one else knows this, they do not have X Ray vision into your self esteem. try remembering that when you met people who are more like you, focus on them more, don't think so much about yourself.

The net is seductive b/c it seems to offer the types of closeness many want, but cannot get. But you can, use the same skills there as you do here, and don't focus so much on your reactions or feelings when you meet people. Force yourself.

[Hyper]

You just need to get yourself together and be strong, that is the only thing you can do..

[mynameisjane]

okay. thank you!

[coastingalong]

Before commenting on the ways to get out of an addiction we need to relate why the addiction took place? Be it the internet addiction or any other things where people find themselves addicted to are due to the sole fact of their loneliness and once this one gets addressed the addiction problems wont exist at all. But then its easier said than done, I know how difficult it can be to revert people to normalcy once they are already addicted to something. A tough ask for anyone as people are not in the mood to heed to others in such cases.

[tom223]

Do what i do, convert your addiction to the internet to something productive. Go to school for networking or get into IT.