I cant stop crying

[ackmedsgirl666]

me and my boyfriend live together and everytime he goes away to visit his family who live another city i cry because i feel like its the end of the world and that hes not gonna come back. i love him so much and i dont want him to go away. i have severe insecurity and i am afraid hes gonna give up on me and leave. im crying right now because he woke up at 3 and said he was gonna go home today. i feel terribly sad right now.. and need someone but hes not here. and even tho i know hes not gonna leave me i still feel hurt.... idk what to do :( what should i do..
when he goes away i cut... hes gone till wednesday he says..... but thats just too long for me... i just wanna cut.... but i dont want him to come home and find me almost dead like he did a week ago. what should i doÉ
when hes away and with his friends he is mean to me... because i get on his case about him not being smart and being out partying and smoke weed and drinking and he gets mad and defensive and treats me like shit.....

i just dont know what to do :(

[brianabyington]

Is there any reason you can't go with him? Or do you not want to go with?

[FreeFall]

Why are you two still together and why aren't you two working on yourselves and this relationship? Has ANY progress of some sort been made in any case? How's communication yet?

You're co-dependent. You cannot survive 3 days without him? Bad for the relationship and as an individual. You need more than a teenage forum, look into therapy or counseling or go search for books that help re-shape your life for the better. You know why he gets mad? You leech on him. You're draining him. His visits are his visits and time away from being under your thumb and constant attention. No he's not free to do what he wants but you're NOT his mother.
You're not responsible to tell him not to smoke or party, he is. If he wants to be stupid that's his choice, and it's your choice if you want to stay with someone stupid. Personal responsibility, not a parental relationship.
Are you ready to trust him AND yourself?
Are you ready to look in the mirror and say I need to make a way for me to stand ON MY OWN before I can stand with him? What's cutting going to fix? Are you sure you're not secretly using it as a "see? This is what happens when you leave me, don't ever leave me." It's unhealthy! It's not good for you for sure but it's a good way to drive him crazy and away. You need professional help, not this forum.

He's leaving you for days to go smoke, party and be with family? With how your relationship is and HAS been as far as I've seen on this forum, what the hell is he thinking? Does he even care that he's leaving Rome to fall to ruins?

You both need to rebuild yourselves. Individually. You work on yourself to better yourself. He needs to work on himself. Once you've both fixed yourselves, then and only then can you even begin to actually work on the relationship and make some sort of tangible progress. If you two are walking in different directions, quit! You're tugging each other in the direction neither of you want to go and you're going to tear each other a part.

You, him, the entire relationship needs a huge amount of work. Get a book but better yet get a professional. I'm serious, the ONLY way for ANY progress is to get some professional help or a book you HAVE to sit down and read thoroughly.



EDIT: I'm just frustrated with you two. Couples fight and have problems but they work through that. I've seen so many posts from you two with your problems and I'm not seeing any improvement. You both want to fix it, you both want to be happy, and I like seeing that. But I'm not seeing much proof of that. Are you two still happy? That spark and bond you two have is there, just protect it and help it grow and flourish! Just ignite it and keep it safe. Just work on each other and yourselves and work on your happiness. Or walk away and find some new happiness.

Both things take strength. Both choices are incredibly hard! But no matter what you're doing, do it because it's making you happy and stronger as both a person and a couple.

[ackmedsgirl666]

Is there any reason you can't go with him? Or do you not want to go with?

his mom wont let me stay with him at her house.
and i have nowhere else to go when i go down there. and i have to stay home because we have animals

[brianabyington]

Oh okay just was wondering is all. I hope you feel better soon.

[ackmedsgirl666]

i am trying and trying
i got so depressed i ended up cutting and now he wants me to send him a picture... and if i do it will trigger me to do more.... i was an idiot and told him...
why did i tell him.. now hes mad and like hates me
i fucked up and idk how to change it

[DarkWingedAngel]

As freefall said. You guys need to work together. You guys are getting nowhere at all. You need to not cut just cause you miss him. For fucks sake he left you not even 12 hours ago. And i told you that you could stay at my place. You decided to stay home. So don't say you got nowhere to go cause you do.

[WickedWeekend]

Hey. Don't cut. If this sounds harsh, I apologize. But if he treats you like you shit, don't love him. He obviously doesn't love you. He should, though. You seem like a great person. If you both want to truly work this out, go to every extent when he comes back. Can't do it together? Get professional help. I truly hate it when the man is horribly cruel and the woman loves him unconditionally still. Don't take his hate. You guys can do this together. This can work out, but only if both of you aren't hateful to each other. Sorry if this doesn't help, but if it does, great. Stay strong. :)