mrbigmouth502
November 13th, 2012, 04:13 AM
I had no idea where to put this, so I'm posting it here. Feel free to move it if it belongs in a different forum.
Anyhow, I'm a 19-year-old male (just turned 19 yesterday actually), and I feel like I have some serious maturity issues. I mean, I'm still finishing high school, I've never had a real job, I don't drive or even have a learners permit, I've never had a real girlfriend (unless you count a couple of close platonic/non-dating relationships) and I just have this overall feeling that I'm stuck in the same phase of adolescence that most people are in when they're 14/15. I should also mention that I still live at home with my dad and stepmom.
I mean, I often see a lot of the things that other people around my age (and even people younger than me) have and do, and I can't help but feel almost like a child in comparison.
I will admit, I've had a rather turbulent adolescence (from my perspective) that I think contributed a lot to this. To give you a timeline;
Age 12/13; we first get internet access at home, tensions start developing in my parents marriage, my mother and I both develop serious internet addictions (which almost lead to me failing 7th grade after years of being an honors student), two of my best friends become a**holes all of a sudden and eventually quit hanging out with me because they want to party and do other stuff like that while I still just want to play Xbox and go quadding, I start developing symptoms of anxiety/depression that I don't realize the "significance" of until a few years later
Age 14; I continue having a hard time accepting that my former best friends don't want to hang out with me, I do alright with 9th grade, I make new friends that last a few years (for the most part), tensions in my parents marriage grow as my mom ignores my dad in favor of her online friends (in particular, one guy who wasn't much older than me; even though it was a creepily close relationship, I'm pretty sure it was still only platonic), I don't bother to get my learner's permit
Age 15; 9th grade, my parents finally split after much fighting, my mom starts going out with a guy I hate (and eventually allows him to move in!), my mom's personality radically changes and she ignores me in favor of her new BF, I unexpectedly move to my dad's to escape the madness (and things go well for the first while...)
Age 16; things go smoothly until my dad starts dating my stepmom, I deal with her and her kids fine at first but eventually they grow to severely annoy the hell out of me, dad buys a new house and we all basically move in, I feel trapped because I'm faced with the decision of choosing between continuing to live with dad and my new "family", or going back to my mom's and dealing with her BF
Age 17; things keep getting more and more frustrating to live with, many of my current friends start "growing up" and losing interest in hanging out with me (much like what happened at 13), my dad and stepmom prepare to move to another community so dad can pursue a new job, I decide to stay behind with my grandparents and finish my (first) year of grade 12
Age 18; I live with my grandparents for a few months until becoming highly annoyed with them, I move in with a friends' family and still feel annoyed but not as badly, I temporarily go on SSRIs to deal with anxiety/depression symptoms but they end up not working out, my dad marries my stepmom to my chagrin, I finish the school year and move back in with them, my stepmom gets pregnant with ANOTHER kid, I go back for another year of high school to catch up on missing credits, I continue feeling annoyed with living with them, I start making "escape" plans for moving out and getting my own life
Age 19; I'm sitting here, posting on a forum that I'm probably too old for. =P
Excuse my poor English; It's 2 AM here and for whatever reason I just felt this need to spit all of this out in a stream of consciousness.
Also, I'm well aware that I don't have any "real" issues listed like drug addictions or girlfriend problems or whatever. Deal with it. It's my life and I can complain if I want to.
Anyhow, I'm a 19-year-old male (just turned 19 yesterday actually), and I feel like I have some serious maturity issues. I mean, I'm still finishing high school, I've never had a real job, I don't drive or even have a learners permit, I've never had a real girlfriend (unless you count a couple of close platonic/non-dating relationships) and I just have this overall feeling that I'm stuck in the same phase of adolescence that most people are in when they're 14/15. I should also mention that I still live at home with my dad and stepmom.
I mean, I often see a lot of the things that other people around my age (and even people younger than me) have and do, and I can't help but feel almost like a child in comparison.
I will admit, I've had a rather turbulent adolescence (from my perspective) that I think contributed a lot to this. To give you a timeline;
Age 12/13; we first get internet access at home, tensions start developing in my parents marriage, my mother and I both develop serious internet addictions (which almost lead to me failing 7th grade after years of being an honors student), two of my best friends become a**holes all of a sudden and eventually quit hanging out with me because they want to party and do other stuff like that while I still just want to play Xbox and go quadding, I start developing symptoms of anxiety/depression that I don't realize the "significance" of until a few years later
Age 14; I continue having a hard time accepting that my former best friends don't want to hang out with me, I do alright with 9th grade, I make new friends that last a few years (for the most part), tensions in my parents marriage grow as my mom ignores my dad in favor of her online friends (in particular, one guy who wasn't much older than me; even though it was a creepily close relationship, I'm pretty sure it was still only platonic), I don't bother to get my learner's permit
Age 15; 9th grade, my parents finally split after much fighting, my mom starts going out with a guy I hate (and eventually allows him to move in!), my mom's personality radically changes and she ignores me in favor of her new BF, I unexpectedly move to my dad's to escape the madness (and things go well for the first while...)
Age 16; things go smoothly until my dad starts dating my stepmom, I deal with her and her kids fine at first but eventually they grow to severely annoy the hell out of me, dad buys a new house and we all basically move in, I feel trapped because I'm faced with the decision of choosing between continuing to live with dad and my new "family", or going back to my mom's and dealing with her BF
Age 17; things keep getting more and more frustrating to live with, many of my current friends start "growing up" and losing interest in hanging out with me (much like what happened at 13), my dad and stepmom prepare to move to another community so dad can pursue a new job, I decide to stay behind with my grandparents and finish my (first) year of grade 12
Age 18; I live with my grandparents for a few months until becoming highly annoyed with them, I move in with a friends' family and still feel annoyed but not as badly, I temporarily go on SSRIs to deal with anxiety/depression symptoms but they end up not working out, my dad marries my stepmom to my chagrin, I finish the school year and move back in with them, my stepmom gets pregnant with ANOTHER kid, I go back for another year of high school to catch up on missing credits, I continue feeling annoyed with living with them, I start making "escape" plans for moving out and getting my own life
Age 19; I'm sitting here, posting on a forum that I'm probably too old for. =P
Excuse my poor English; It's 2 AM here and for whatever reason I just felt this need to spit all of this out in a stream of consciousness.
Also, I'm well aware that I don't have any "real" issues listed like drug addictions or girlfriend problems or whatever. Deal with it. It's my life and I can complain if I want to.