it's not just that...

[bbychop]

a week ago tomorrow i found out i was pregnant. since then, things have just fallen down in a spiral and i just cannot take it.
friday (when i found out), i called my big brother to calm down and he told me that if i need him he was there. i guess that was probably the best thing i could have heard at that time. my boyfriend called me and i told him and he called his uncle. as he was pulling up in my driveway and he referred to me as "the fucking girl from missouri". we came inside and i just felt like killing myself. he kept telling me "i will be here for the abortion. that's it." we had to go to my doctor and he decided to take a test there that confirmed that i was and after that my best friend came over to check on me and my boyfriend thought i was cheating on him with her boyfriend. afterwards we went to the movies and spent the night just hanging out.
saturday, i had to go to my grandma's for the afternoon. my mum and grandma kept making pregnant comments and they do not know. i come home and my boyfriend comes over. he was more concerned about a girl that lost her cat than me. he said mine was an "easy fix". it striked up a fight but afterwards we were just fine.
the rest of the week was actually quite well until wednesday.
wednesday, he began telling me how much i fucked up in the past and brought up one person i did not want to hear about, especially now and i could not take it. he came over later that day before he went to go see another girl and it just made me frustrated. i could not take it.
today, i was watching knocked up and i just realized, i am about to lose my baby. he wants me to have an abortion. i kind of do but now after reading up on it, it is not 100% effective. none of the methods. i feel like i just need to talk to him but he will not understand, i do not think.
please do not think any different from what i just said because i know how most people are touchy about abortion but this is the one moment that i am just like ... unsure on what to do or where to go next. i do not know if it is hormones or if i am really becoming depressed again. i am going crazy.

[Hauptmann Kauffman]

It sounds like he is making your decision for you. It is your baby, your decision. That is how I feel. Dont let him control you. If he ignores and rules you so blatantly, he sounds very rude and objectionable.

[bbychop]

honestly, i thought about it before... i mean, when i had my first scare. the ironic thing is that the one time i am not worried about it and do not want to be, i am. part of me wants to actually keep it but part of me does not. i have like two and a half weeks precisely until i am even able to get an abortion but i am just second guessing, i suppose. i am wanting to just talk it out but he will have the same opinion...

[byee]

OMG, I am so sorry for you, this is just terrible! And you're right, this isn't an abortion issue (yet, anyway). I think you need some support and concern fast. Where can you get it? Who can you go to, is there someone who you can be with at least for a lttile while, a supportive environment? I hope so much there is someone in your life that can just love and support you for a while without judging you or dismissing the tragedy you face, or tell you what to do.

That would be my strong recommendation right now, to get yourself in a better place with frankly better people. It's amazing how clear some things become for us when we are with people who really care. Don't worry about the 2.5 week deadline, that's plenty of time for someone who has the benefit of someone behind them in a supportive way.

Go find them.

[Sapphire]

I think you need some support and concern fast. Where can you get it? Who can you go to, is there someone who you can be with at least for a lttile while, a supportive environment? I hope so much there is someone in your life that can just love and support you for a while without judging you or dismissing the tragedy you face, or tell you what to do.

QFT.
Speak with your best friend about it. Your doctor should also be able to help you talk through everything too, aswell as providing a professional insight. Speaking with anyone you trust, it doesn't have to be with your boyfriend, can help clear up any confusion and I hope you do that.

As far as your boyfriend is concerned, I think you are better off without him. He doesn't come across as a particularly supportive or loving person (or maybe that's the effect this situation is having on him, I dont know) and this is not the sort of person you need to be around.

[bbychop]

my best friend is practically too wrapped up in her boyfriend to even worry about it. my mum does not know, just my dad does. the only person who i have even talked to about it are my boyfriend and my doctor when i found out.

he just tells me he has "never had to deal with this problem" when for the past two days he has come over here drunk or stoned because some other girl got a boyfriend. :roll: but it is just what i figure right now...

i keep having nightmares, let alone second thoughts. especially tonight. i keep getting this gut instinct that i am about to lose it. idk though.

[Hyper]

Your boyfriend is an asshole..

Its your decision, he doesn't care about anything besides his own satisfaction and happiness

[RaisingSand]

First of all ... it's YOUR BABY, and it's YOUR BODY. Don't let him make the decision for you.
If you feel you can't talk to your friends or family about the pregnancy, see your school guidance counsellor (if you're still at school), and they can take you to a doctor or mental health professional, where you can discuss options and what you want to do.
I have a friend your age who's currently pregnant with her first child, and she says being pregnant and knowing she's going to be a mother is the best feeling ever.
Be strong, hang in there. :) :hug:

[Hauptmann Kauffman]

I agree with the two above posts. Its your body, not his:)

[byee]

Your 'boyfriend' needs to be thrown under the bus (figuratively speaking), why are you still speaking to him?

Anyway, I really think what you need to do here is find someone who will support you non judgementally. Surely there has to be someone who can do that? Guidance counsellor? A friend's mother? Someone? You need some TLC here, fast. Focus on figuring out who that can be and go to them. You cannot make any decision clearly when you're as (rightfully) upset as you are, and you cannot get what you need from your 'boyfriend'.

[RaisingSand]

^Agreed. This guys is not treating you the way you deserve to be treated and I think the best thing for you to do right now is to cut off contact with him. As hard as that may be, the reality is you will probably end up hurting more if you keep him in your life.

[Hyper]

I don't belive the whole its your body thing.. But it is your baby and since he doesn't care about him he has no legitimacy to suggest anything or force you into something

Do whats best FOR YOU

[Sapphire]

Do whats best FOR YOU

QFT!