Coming out to my parents

[Dave]

I have come out to 3 friends.
My two best friends think that is ok, but my other one think that i should say it to my parents.
The reason is that i can't, i dont' have all the "guts" to tell them...right now
Do you think i should tell them when im not ready to say it to they?

[Maverick]

No you shouldn't tell your parents until you're ready. You're only 15. Give it a few years if necessary. There's no rush and you should be prepared and ready for it.

[That1Guy]

I agree with Anthony. Also, you should probably make sure that your friend wont go over your head and spill to your parents. Things could get messy.

[Dave]

They promise to not to tell them, and i trust them.

Ok, thanks, another friend say me ,with no offense, that if i don't go out with my parents, i show that i don't have love-for-myself (autoestima in spanish).

Anyway, thanks, know i know that i will come out when i im ready thanks Anthony and That1Guy!

[RaisingSand]

You definitely shouldn't tell your parents unless you're ready. Give it a few years or so, or as long as you're comfortable. You have to be prepared for their reactions, whatever they might be, and most importantly, ready and comfortable with telling them. :)

[Trickster]

if you tell to early you could fell bad for the remainder of youre life you tell them when youre emotionally ready for some parents get furious when they find out that stuff like call their kids names which shall not be spoken.

[Malcolm Tucker]

Wait until YOU are ready. Seriously wait a year or two or three. When you are ready.

[irhmrh]

dont tell parents untill u are sure

[Dave]

thanks all, that is what i am going to do.

But, still, lately they are trying to find a girl that i would like.

If they don't know im gay, there will be still telling,telling,telling me that i should get a girlfriend.

What do i have to do?

[RaisingSand]

Wow, damn. :/ You could just say something like you feel you're at a place in your life right now where you don't think you need the stress of a girlfriend or a relationship at you would rather focus on things like school work etc.

[Underground_Network]

I'm not gay, but I struggle around girls, and I might be bisexual, but I think I'm just curious... But anyway, just tell your parents you want to hold off on girls for awhile, tell them something like you'd rather focus on something else (like schoolwork or any activities that you do outside of school). My dad keeps pressuring me to get a girlfriend, b/c my half-brother had a lot of girlfriends and was pretty popular. Right now he's planning on getting engaged.. But my dad sets my expectations high, he expects me to do no less than my brother, and meeting my brother's expectations are near impossible. Being valedictorian at Cornell University, and then getting paid to go to Columbia University... yeah.. I'll be lucky if I make it into some division 3 college.. But anyway, just tell your parents either A) You're not interested in having a girlfriend at the moment, or B) That you would rather find a girl yourself (although this could backfire and upset them when you eventually tell them that you are gay).

[byee]

thanks all, that is what i am going to do.

But, still, lately they are trying to find a girl that i would like.

If they don't know im gay, there will be still telling,telling,telling me that i should get a girlfriend.

What do i have to do?

If you tell them you're gay, what makes you think they'll stop telling you to get a girl? They might do it more.

You shouldn't share anything that's this so very personal and of this magnitude with anyone unless you are 1) absolutley sure you want to, 2) are completely prepared for their reaction, and 3) you have a very clear understanding of what you hope to accomplish, and that those expectations are realistic. Until then, I'd suggest waiting until you've resolved all of the above.

It's really difficult to know something about yourself like this and not be able to share it with the people who mean the most to you or are in a position to help by offering support and acceptance. It's especially awful to not be able to share with your family. But sometimes, it's better to be really ready before doing so, so that you're better assured of either the outcome, or your ability to cope with their reaction.

[Dave]

sounds great, thanks everyone!!

[Tatsuya]

you shouldnt tell thm in this early....age( i think)......well if i were you,i would say in 20+.....but i think if you really a [email protected],your parents can tell that...:yeah:....but dont use my advice...i`m Taoru:P

[grimlip]

I was out to my friends for almost a year before I came out to my parents... But when I did I felt SO much better about stuff. I understand what you mean about not having the guts to do it though. Just wati till you're ready :)

[sasori1122]

well...I just recently came out to my closest friends about being bi...and I don't think I'll be telling my parents for a long while...see...I don't think they'd have too much of a problem with it...but they would probably tell my relatives...and...well...while we live in the big city(Atlanta), and are fairly liberal...all of our relatives live out in the country...and well...Southern people out in the country aren't the most accepting in terms of other sexual preferences...

so I'm not really sure how to go about doign it...but it will probably be sometime while I'm in college...

[Dave]

Thanks everone, now i know i must wait to tell my parents, i must agreed with your options, all are great, thank you

[Underground_Network]

On everyone's behalf, I shall say Your Welcome. I hope everything works out, hopefully your parents will be accepting. Parents are supposed to support you no matter what decisions you make (of course I'm referring to legal decisions) right?

[Dave]

right.

I won't do anything bad (at least i'll try to control my hormones)

[liveandlearn]

Wat does "come out" mean? mutal masturbation?

[Serenity]

To come out refers to the term 'coming out of the closet', as in admitting to being gay/bi. Masturbation, etc, has absolutely nothing to do with it.

[drcarter24]

Well unfortunatly in my case...I am 16 and here is my story. I came out to my friends one at a time...beginning with the ones I knew I could trust not tell and ending with the ones I knew WOULD tell...I wanted it to happen like this because I was scared to come out on my own for I kinda wanted ppl to tell for me. Well none of them really told alot of ppl...so I decided one night while talked to my "secret" boyfriend, that I would come out over facebook and myspace in a note and also changing my status to in a relationship with Josh. Welllll good idea and bad idea...I hadn't told ALL of my friends yet or my 'rents and bro...I actually ended up not telling one of my best friends in the world and she had to find out over facebook...but neway...my bro finally saw the note and the status change and was VERY angry...he was the most popular kid in school, being point-gaurd for b-ball...pitcher for baseball, quarter back for football and so one so fourth...he thought that me being gay would ruin his rep. and what not so he started threatening me and what not...then he noticed that I was dating Josh...this is when it got BAD...see...Josh was in the same grade as him and was the same age...My bro is 20...lol I am only 16...dating a 20 year old that went to school with my bro...yaaa not so good...haha so he immediatly told called my mom at work, told her...then she called home and told my dad...well I was really pissed that my 'rents had to find out that way...but they were ok with it...but seriously...don't tell them until you are ready...but to be truthful...they prob. already kno your gay...depending on how you grew up and what not...but my 'rents knew when I was only like 4...lol...and all of my friends knew before I told them also...so ya..

[Attax]

I am 15 and bi so i can feel some of your stress. I still have not told my parents and I am not sure that I am going to. I have decided though that if I am going to I will wait untill I am in college, I thought about this as well and personally decided that i do not want to be under my parents control when i tell them.