Bad Thoughts

[KillerKing]

I'm going to keep this simple.

I love my girlfriend to bits and have been with her for 2 years, but I still can't help but think about other people sometimes on my own. When I'm with her, it's all about me and her, I don't think of people when we have sex or anything. But on my own I can't help think about other guys! Being Bi and not having had many experiences with guys, I'm still sorta curious. I don't think about other girls... just guys.

Does it make me a bad boyfriend? I would never cheat, never act up on these fantasies but I can't stop them.

[FreeFall]

As much as I hate to say this because I am a girl and it kills me that my boyfriend thinks of other girls or looks at them, it's natural.

Humans are wired to breed and survive, regardless of what gender you're looking at.
We like pretty things, so we look at pretty people. We see a pretty person and think, hm damn they look nice.

So whether we like it or not, whether our partners like it or not, we'll think and look at other people. This has no reflection on our emotions or feelings towards our partners, it's just natural.

It's what you do that makes the difference. If you were telling your girlfriend all the fantasies you have, if your fantasies are occurring so very often, if you pretend she's a boy during sex, beg her to let you guys have a threesome after having been in a monogamous relationship for 2 years, stare at people you think are attractive while on a date with her, point out whom you think is attractive and should get in bed with you; than you'd be an awful boyfriend.

Don't act on your thoughts or let them consume, learn to draw a line and it's all ok.

[KillerKing]

As much as I hate to say this because I am a girl and it kills me that my boyfriend thinks of other girls or looks at them, it's natural.

Humans are wired to breed and survive, regardless of what gender you're looking at.
We like pretty things, so we look at pretty people. We see a pretty person and think, hm damn they look nice.

So whether we like it or not, whether our partners like it or not, we'll think and look at other people. This has no reflection on our emotions or feelings towards our partners, it's just natural.

It's what you do that makes the difference. If you were telling your girlfriend all the fantasies you have, if your fantasies are occurring so very often, if you pretend she's a boy during sex, beg her to let you guys have a threesome after having been in a monogamous relationship for 2 years, stare at people you think are attractive while on a date with her, point out whom you think is attractive and should get in bed with you; than you'd be an awful boyfriend.

Don't act on your thoughts or let them consume, learn to draw a line and it's all ok.

I would never ever betray her or do any of those things in that last paragraph!! It all sounds so horrible!!! But I get it, it's natural.... I hate nature.

[dingo006]

I have never dated a girl longer than six months. so take what i say with a grain of salt.

I dont think those thoughts are bad. I think they are healthy. it shows that you are satisfied with your girlfriend but are still exploring yourself and having fantasies is the safe way to do it (especially when you are in a relationship) it shows you are still growing as a person. You should try not to see it as a betrayal of your relationship and maybe see it as a safe way to indulge yourself inside your relationship. Fantasy is a good thing, especially when you have the love of someone else.

[FreeFall]

Nah I'm not saying that you would or will, just trying to show your thoughts are totally fine, it's the actions that make the statement. I hate nature too sometimes. I'm the minority, when I have a boyfriend, everyone else is an ugly thing that can't compare. I've been told that's unhealthy for me to think :\ so you're "natural" and healthy, it's ok : D

[KillerKing]

Hey,

Thank you both! That's really helped me!

[brianabyington]

I think it is perfectly natural as long as you don't act on the thoughts and stuff.