Is this just a phase?

[anonymousduncan]

Hello, lately I've been very confused as to what has happened to me. A couple days ago I started randomly freaking out and stressing that I would become gay and that I just suddenly lost interest sexually in women and I don't even know why. I'm a virgin, 17 yr old. I still like women and I dream about having a wife and kids in the future but they just don't sexually arouse me when looking at porn. I can get aroused by almost any type of porn but lately it's only been if it has a penis in it. Thinking about having sex with a man gets me aroused as well but I could never see myself in a relationship with another guy, I don't find men attractive just the part.. down there. I have been reading up and it seems like I have something like HOCD. I'm not sure but I know I do have pretty bad OCD. My thoughts keep telling me "you need to have sex with that guy" and just random stuff like "you're gay" and its driving me crazy. A couple days before I started freaking out about this my parents were fighting, ALOT, like it would stress me out and get me so upset. I'm not sure if that would trigger it or not. I have looked up quite a bit of porn, I would masturbate alot actually almost every day, I have anal masturbated a couple times as well but felt guilty or.. ashamed after doing it. I'm a pretty late bloomer myself, my mother was telling me that she thinks it could just be my hormones going all over the place. Is this just a phase of growing up and why have I suddenly just lost interest in women like this?

[sdude]

Chill dude, it is all of the above...your parents stressing u out with their arguing, you look for a release...and I think a lot of guys need to see a penis in action to get their motor running...it is just real exciting cause we know how it feels to get hard, and we like to watch it in action!! It may mean you are gay or bi or somewhere inbetween...you might someday think it's ok to have a relationship with a guy, or you might not...just relax and take one day at a time...and try to give yourself a break...

[anonymousduncan]

Thanks, hopefully this will settle soon.

[Lost in the Echo]

Yeah, I can definitely see it just being a phase. Your hormones are still raging and out of control because you are still going through puberty. Don't worry dude, it will pass, it's just a phase that everyone goes through, I can tell by what you said.
Don't worry, it will be fine :)

[TigerBoy]

Thinking you know yourself and suddenly having to deal with stuff like this can really shake up your sense of security and make you stressed and anxious. The added uncertainty of your parents fighting is only going to make it harder to think clearly about your feelings right now.

If you have lost interest in girls it may simply be that the newness of same-sex attraction is making it extra exciting by comparison right now. You may find your feelings for girls come back, or you might decide they were never that strong to start with.

Don't be too guided by what you can imagine - society brainwashes us all to conform to certain things, so be open to the possibility that you may simply have not met the right person yet.

The guilt and shame you feel about anal play is very normal, a result of a lifetime of your upbringing telling you that part of your body is out of bounds.

In spite of what gets repeated on this forum there is no such thing as a temporary change in sexual orientation during puberty, just a huge boost to your sex drive by hormones which also lowers your inhibitions. You might be exploring parts of yourself that just won't interest you so much later, or they could turn out to be an important part of your life. You have no reason to feel guilty about those feelings, they aren't anyone else's business, just be honest with yourself about what you feel: if you deny feelings hoping they'll just go away, you will find it very harmful to your peace of mind in the event that they don't.