Still in the closet!

[Green Arrow]

After about 2 months of telling my parents that I was gay nothing has happend. The thing is my parents think that it's just a phase and i haven't found the right girl yet because I haven't had a girl friend. I want to come out fully but I don't want to do it until i have my parents support but the thing is I don't want to make a big song and dance about it. When I told my mum she was in tears and was in a weird mood for about 3 days. Some of my friends have said that I should keep on telling them, but I don't want to shove it down their throats as such. What do I do? :(

[TigerBoy]

They know about it, so I wouldn't do anything. Just live your life, be true to yourself and if that doesn't give them enough clues, when you have a boyfriend they'll have all the 'reinforcement' they need to get the idea into their heads.

As far as coming out fully, depends on your school and friends. If you have a boyfriend you want to be with or talk about to them, then yes, I can see you'd want to come out. It will be easier to come out before they 'find out' (eg if you had a secret boyfriend) because it will be on your terms, but that doesn't mean you need to rush it.

I know it probably seems like you went to a lot of effort for nothing right now, but if you had issues you needed to deal with at least they know about you, and you wouldn't be dropping a bomb. You've done the right thing, its a huge deal for you, but it sounds like its feeling a bit anticlimactic because your parents haven't given you much closure on it yet: give it time is all you can do I think.

[Cameron14]

As usual, Olly has nailed it...Good luck. I respect your courage.

[dontfiguremeout]

Hmm, I guess if you really want to show your parents your gay, when you get a boyfriend you truly love, show them! Not just show them saying here's my boyfriend, but show them that you guys really love each other. By then your parents will have reality kick them in the face, and realize that you are indeed gay.

[Halcyon]

You've told them, you've respected that they have a right to know. If they can't accept it then leave it until they do. Come out at school and don't go back to acting straight at home or anything, give little reminders of how you're gay. Say the guy on the cologne commercial is hot, moan about boy problems, just mention boys every now and again. It's important that you get this right between reminding them you're gay and shoving your sexuality down their throat, but you can probably make the distinction :P

Coming out at school.. My best advice is to just tell some friends and then let it spread. I came out over Facebook and sort of regret it. Telling people face to face is much more genuine and people will respect you more for it. Hold your head up high when you tell people, don't be ashamed. Hopefully when you come out you'll get a boyfriend and people will accept you! Good luck!

[dusman77]

They know about it, so I wouldn't do anything. Just live your life, be true to yourself and if that doesn't give them enough clues, when you have a boyfriend they'll have all the 'reinforcement' they need to get the idea into their heads.

As far as coming out fully, depends on your school and friends. If you have a boyfriend you want to be with or talk about to them, then yes, I can see you'd want to come out. It will be easier to come out before they 'find out' (eg if you had a secret boyfriend) because it will be on your terms, but that doesn't mean you need to rush it.

I know it probably seems like you went to a lot of effort for nothing right now, but if you had issues you needed to deal with at least they know about you, and you wouldn't be dropping a bomb. You've done the right thing, its a huge deal for you, but it sounds like its feeling a bit anticlimactic because your parents haven't given you much closure on it yet: give it time is all you can do I think.
Listen to Olly!

[Magnus Bane]

everyone one on here is right... you rparents need to listen... you just need to give them little reminders best of luck :cool:

[Green Arrow]

The thing is that i'm quite shy when it comes to personal matters like this and I know I want to do things like that but it's not like me to do things like that.

[TigerBoy]

The thing is that i'm quite shy when it comes to personal matters like this and I know I want to do things like that but it's not like me to do things like that.

Some of that is about not being entirely comfortable with yourself just yet, because you've got the parents in denial over it still. Don't put even more pressure on yourself to perform, just take any opportunities as they come along to stand firm - so if they make comments about the right girl, all you need to do is laugh it off and say 'not going to happen'. Don't go looking for confrontation but don't run away from it every time either.

The real trick will be staying polite and good humoured in the face of their behaviour which - to be blunt - is disrespectful and rude. You have to be the bigger man.