My thoughts

[dusman77]

Well, this is mainly gonna be a vent. I've been depressed a while. And it was all because of some stupid thing I did in the past. I'll never be able to forget about it, especially after my mom found out. Now I'm just trying to go on without committing suicide. I put on a fake smile so nobody but the people reading this know I'm depressed. I mean why shouldn't I be? I have no friends, I'm confused about my sexuality, I did something I'll never forget and haunts me to this very day, and I'm made fun of regularly. I went to this site to maybe find friends, but I'm too shy to message anyone after I spent 3 days posting as much as I could to finally be able to PM. I mean I even know who it is I wanna PM but I'm to afraid to even say hi. He's on now so it'd be something if he replied. But some day I'm just gonna end it all. Does anybody ever feel this way?

[MrJoel]

Just cheer up you are young.Try to make friends it not hard because it is great to have friends.And no I have never felt that way before.

[dusman77]

Just cheer up you are young.Try to make friends it not hard because it is great to have friends.And no I have never felt that way before.

Yeah, I can't really cheer up. I no longer have a life I'd want to live. No matter how old I get, no matter what I do, what I did will have me scarred for life. If anyone else ever found out, my life would be over.

[MrJoel]

Well my best advice is to talk to someone/guidance councilor.

[dusman77]

Well my best advice is to talk to someone/guidance councilor.

Sorry. Ain't happening. I'd rather die.

[MrJoel]

Sorry. Ain't happening. I'd rather die.

Well thats all I can advise you to do I dont what else to say.

[QueenOfTheOutcasts]

Everyone probably feels like this sometimes.... And don't be shy~

[dusman77]

I'm very shy. I have like no friends because I'm too shy to start a conversation. I only talk to someone usually if they talk to me first.

[Stryker125]

Relax, take a deep breath and think. First thing I'm going to say is that you need to tell someone. Depression isn't something to be handled alone. A counselor, therapy, parents, good friends, anyone you can trust. You'll need all the help you can getting through this. You might not want to, but it needs to be done.

Second, you need to forgive yourself for whatever you did. Forgiveness is crucial. It doesn't mean forgetting, but it does mean understanding that people make mistakes, and you are just as much human as anyone else. You are not who you were that day.

Being made fun of sucks, but you are not the names people might call you. You are not your grades, gpa, clothes, sexuality, or economic class. You are you. You'll always be you. There's no one alive who is you-er than you.

As far as being shy goes, you're just gonna have to work through it. I'm pretty shy myself, but I'm getting better. You just have to talk to people. I promise it's not as scary as it can seem sometimes. It's gonna be tough, but smooth seas never made a skillful sailor.

Don't be so afraid to face every day, take your time. It's only life.

[dusman77]

Thanks. That helped. I'm not as depressed as I used to be, so I may be getting over it. But that "one day" wasn't just one day. I was doing wrong for over 2 months. It will be hard to forgive myself after that. But I'm trying to make new friends, I'm getting through it. :) I guess I was just in a really bad mood when I made this thread and it just all seemed to hit me at once. I have periods like that where I'm almost suicidal. I'm usually not like that ALL the time. Maybe some of it, but not all.

[Stryker125]

Thanks. That helped. I'm not as depressed as I used to be, so I may be getting over it. But that "one day" wasn't just one day. I was doing wrong for over 2 months. It will be hard to forgive myself after that. But I'm trying to make new friends, I'm getting through it. :) I guess I was just in a really bad mood when I made this thread and it just all seemed to hit me at once. I have periods like that where I'm almost suicidal. I'm usually not like that ALL the time. Maybe some of it, but not all.

Yeah I know what you mean. Sometimes it does seem to all hit you at once. But you just gotta roll with the punches, y'know? Some days are darker than others, but a bright one is always around the corner.

I'm really glad to hear you're doing better though :)

[dusman77]

Yeah. And I finally messaged someone on here, so I just made a friend. :) Is there any way to delete a thread?

[Stryker125]

not sure, I think only the mods and admins can delete threads.

[dusman77]

Oh well.