College friends

[runnerz]

I think this belongs here more than it does in education and careers.

I'm at college this year and am feeling kind of lonely. I miss the "personalness" that is in high school I guess. There, like it or not, you had a teacher who knew your name at least and maybe even a little about you. There, you had a set time for lunch, a set time for everyone to be at school in the morning (so people could chat before school), and like it or not, the smallness of the classes meant more chances to get to know the people around you.

Not so in my college experience. Everyone is on different schedules so going to class seems to be a more individual thing. This first semester, I dont think any teacher but one knows my name and after this , semester I doubt I'll be interacting with them at all. Lecture halls are so big and seats fill on a first come, first serve basis. So even though I talked with the people around me on the first few days, it didnt really seem to matter since people sit in different places and cant be found amidst a sea of people.

I missed opporunities for "club rush" because I was going back and forth between college and my home. I helped my parents move.

My current situation is that I'm msging and skyping with my online friends (people I knew from high school, etc) more than I'm talking to people here.

I know many readers of this will still be in high school. I'm not trying to marginalize you guys at all. Im not saying that high school social life is easy or even that college social life is harder. Im just saying that it's different, and Im posting because Im having a hard time adjusting to that difference.

I dont know whether I need tough love responses ("Just go make friends".) or more sugarcoated ones ("aww I feel you") or maybe i just needed to rant. But anyways, thanks for reading. Excuse grammar errors since Im on my phone.

[Steve Jobs]

Hey Daniel,
I really do feel ya. It really isn't easy living out on your own and I can relate in that sort of way I suppose.
Have you looked around for some clubs or organizations either around campus or your local community?
Being one that was never particularly social I found the people I linger the most with are people I work on big and side projects with. I refuse to stay at home when I'm alone since that's when I feel the most lonely and depressed.

I set myself a challenge ever since I started more than half a year ago, and that was to meet somebody new every time I walked onto campus. Next time in class, start talking to someone, ask to head out to grab lunch afterwards or something, take a walk somewhere or go to the mall and look at something. You'll be surprised how quickly your name goes out and how fast you'll be meeting people.

Remember the college experience in today's changing world really does mean your grades won't matter nearly as much as the people you're connecting with and the experiences (read: mistakes) you make while you're in college.

Hope this helps! :)

[FreeFall]

But so is college. It's more about working to where you want to be in life, where high school was working to either getting into a college you want or be able to go out into the world. It's more work and if people are taking it seriously, less personalization. Sometimes it does suck but you're real;y just going to have to stop having a little pity party for how lonely you are and show these college folk you'd like to get to know them.

I hate lecture halls :| I really do. I get there nice and early and apparently the entire class gets there even earlier, so awkward. So try to set a time for you to get there and "designate" your own seat. I get to my class at a very specific time if I can help it and always sit in the same seat or section. The people around me rotate but I feel more comfortable because I'm in "my spot" so to speak. Some caught on that I'm there a lot and if they want to speak to me, they sit where they know I'm around (: you can try that.

And clubs are always a sure fire way to meet people with similar interests.

You also just need more time to adjust to the college life. It's totally fine to mourn high school but don't let it cloud your experience in college (: Just give yourself more time.

[ExhibitG]

i'm going through the exact same problem. all my best friends left to go to a different state for college and i'm stuck here feeling lonelier than ever. i hope it helps to know that you aren't alone with how you're feeling :)

[FergusDunn]

t didnt really seem to matter since people sit in different places and cant be found amidst a sea of people.

I would think that can be an advantage -

But ok Im 14 and at school mostly but get one day a week at college and I know it is different big time.

You missed that big part when every one is meeting new people and forming freindships

But there will be others you can meet and the lecturers well some might get to know students

I liked the answer about setting a challenge to speak to different people each day -