Need to calm down

[Glasgow]

Just need somebody to talk to about all this. Dunno where to start.

Umm. well you see i used to have a girlfriend a year ago. It was all good, until i said something wrong and then did a number of things wrong afterwards which totally fucked up our interaction with eachother. We don't talk anymore, we dont make eye contact, we dont acknowledge eachother. But thats not the point

Theres this other girl, that i think I like. And from the clues shes given me she likes me back. But, i just dont know if im ready to have a girlfriend. She can relate to me because i know she went out with guys and now they dont like talking to eachother anymore. I dunno if she wants to go out with me or not, but id just really really like to be just friends with her. Shes awesome to talk to and whatnot, but i dunno, its too early to go out with her. Only known her for awhile. I guess if she asks me or tells me she likes me ill tell her that i like her too but would like to stay friends, for the reasons above. Would that fuck it up, because im just trying to avoid another fucked up relationship.

can anyone relate to me?

[byee]

Yes, I can relate to you! You have 'Relationship Shock' that dreadful feeling you get AFTER a relationship ends, and you want another relationship, while simultaneously wanting to hide under a big rock, for fear of it being another disaster. Perfectly understandable, and perfectly normal.

First, i'd suggest you try really hard to look at your prior relationship with brutal, frank honesty and figure out what you did that was, um, wrong. What happened that could have been prevented, and how you could have avoided the calamity. Be truthful with your self, the point is to identify what went wrong so you can apply that knowledge and experience in a new relationship.

Then, I'd apply what i learned. You can either tell your new sweetie what's been going on (that you've been hurt recently and you're a little gun shy), or just keep that piece to yourself, and take it nice and slow, applying your new found insight to prevent anything nasty from happening.

Crap happens, it's too bad when it does, but it's just a part of life. Those that are successful learn from their mistakes and apply them in the future. Do that.

[Glasgow]

Well then, didnt excpect an answer as good as that :P And yeah, ive looked back on my relationship and realised that i just have a really big, hurtful mouth. Even if im not meaning to be hurtful. So i just need to learn to keep my mouth shut and only say nice things. Ill just take it slow, i think she doesnt wanna rush in asking me out or anything either.

[Trickster]

Just take a deep breath and brace up. It NEVER easy with that kind of break-up it like a failing marriage just tragic. I went through that and i was a bachelor for a year in 8th grade. But the thing you can do while still a bachelor is talk to a lot of girls and when you gte to know one keep talkin until you are ready. Dont rush it but dont wait to long.

[mynameisjane]

i think you can be her friend but i dont think its necessary to tell her you like her. i think you should tell her you're not interested so she doesnt have to be tormented with the predicament of "should i keep waiting for him or should i move on?". then maybe when youre over the other girl, you can start flirting with her.

i think it might help you move on if you make peace with the other girl. you dont have to be her friend again, i just think you can just discuss what happened, identify where the misunderstanding was, and accept that it was just a misunderstanding. unless one of you did something that they knew was wrong but they did it anyways for no good reason.