Is infertility a bad thing?

[Sir Suomi]

Is infertility such a bad thing? I think it is not. Now, I know it may be sad for a couple where one partner is infertile. But when you think about it, it actually helps in a lot of ways, too, if they adopt. The couple now can be sure when they are ready to raise a child, instead of having unexpected pregnancies. They can know exactly how many children they want to raise. And now an orphaned/abandoned child will get a family they deserve. Also, adopting instead of giving birth can help control our world's rapidly rising population. Imagine, if instead of bringing a child into the world, a child is adopted, and that child can go on and have a good life.

Well, that's my opinion on that. Feel free to disagree or agree with me! :yes:

[xXJust Jump ItXx]

You gotta think about it from this point, basically it happens to many couples this way. - They want a child really bad, they are ready, emotionally, financially, etc. they try and try to have a kid, and they dont conceive. They find out who ever is infertile. It really does hit them hard and well adoption may not be something they want to do, or can do. But true on the fact you wont have unplanned pregnancies or anything, kind a plus there. But if you do have your own children, its rare you would have twins, but if you want 2 kids haha there you go! If not you can have the one and if later on have a second or how ever many. I get what your saying though, and you have the right to but its always more complex than you might think. I do agree with your sig though about the screw the swag, do you know what swag is by definition? Its really stupid, and so I dont have "Swag" or anything like that.

[FreeFall]

Hm, I'm a bit shocked that this is a topic actually. I'm currently waiting to hear back about my baseline test. Thanks to my fluctuating weight, and being underweight for a time, my estrogen levels may have plummeted, and I may no longer be fertile. They'll determine if progesterone supplements could be useful in returning my levels to their correct balance if they are indeed low. I hate waiting.
There's a whole chunk of my life possibly stolen from me. I've experienced hysterical pregnancies before, but the idea I may never ever experience maternity and all that goes with it and that the man I'm with will never be able to experience paternity and my maternity, I'm not seeing too much happiness there.

What you've said, that's the one good thing of it in a sense, but it's emotionally insensitive to say. Think of it like this; "oh you can't have kids and experience that time of pregnancy? Good thing they have orphanages in the world for you to pick from! And surrogates too! You're sure helping with keeping the population from rising anymore." Ouch.
Adoption isn't for everyone. Surrogacy isn't for everyone. Some people that cannot have children, cannot have these options and they feel stuck. I feel stuck anyways and I'm not even sure yet. I know I could never adopt, what if the kid wants to find their real parents and pretty much abandons me and all the mothering and family things we'd done? I know I'll resent the woman that gave birth to the child I'd be holding and calling my own. She got to have and experience what I so desperately want, and here she is just giving her child to me.

I do not like to think I'm potentially a "check and balance" so to speak in the world's population control. It warms me when people go and save a child's life at an orphanage, and it certainly does pass the minds of all who are sterile. But there has to be such strength to hold a child and love that you didn't create, the bonding time is crucial in baby years, and adjusting to the sudden life, I'm pretty awed at the people that adopt. I really am. I'm weak and selfish and want to have the growing tummy and the pains and the joy of pushing life out.

I lost track there, so back on topic, no. Infertility is not bad, but I wouldn't call it a joy. Some people may be ecstatic in finding out they're sterile, just like some spiral into a deep depression upon learning they'll be a parent. I think it just depends on the person you're speaking to but overall, it's not bad.

[Jess]

I agree with what Freefall said. There's nothing wrong with it, but it's not exactly something to be happy about - for most people anyways. But PERSONALLY, I wouldn't mind if I ended up unable to have children, because I don't want any anyways. But everyone is different.

[Mortal Coil]

I think that from a completely impersonal point of view, infertility is good. Like you said, it means that there won't be unplanned pregnancies and that the couple can adopt an orphan, which requires them to be deemed fit parents. Also, it stops the population problem (we would need four times as many natural resources as there are on earth if everyone lived the way Americans do.) However, that's forgetting that we are people, and as human beings some will want to conceive. So that's my divided, uncertain stance on the matter.

[Silicate Wielder]

To me there are two answers.

Infertility helps with our population which is starting to outgrow earth.

But on the otherhand it is a problem for those waanting to have kids.

[Halcyon]

I understand your argument for this, and if we were an emotionless species infertility would be a good thing. But people want a child of their own a lot of the time and making the decision to raise someone else's baby is a bigger one to take than raising your own. Sure, infertile couples are more likely to be sure that they want a baby, but in the end I doubt any couple would choose to have to adopt.

[Human]

Infertility isn't really good. It's like saying being obese is good, it's a problem.
Usually it's because of a medical problem. I wouldn't say it's bad, just not good. Sometimes the problems might not be your fault.

[Fiction]

Not being able to have kids would kill me.

It is the main thing I want out of my life. If I found out I couldn't have children it'd effect me so badly. I'd consider adopting but it's not the same. There's something about giving birth to your own child and raising them from day 1. You wouldn't get that with adoption.

Yes, adopting a child is good, but that doesn't make infertility good. It's not the infertile person's fault their are children without parents, why should they suffer for it?

Maybe you don't want children, but it's a huge part of living, and one that I imagine to be rewarding and the thing I want most out of my life, as it is for many other people. Imagine losing the ability to do what you most wanted.

[Cicero]

No. It really can be a bad thing, if someone doesn't want to be fertile they can get a vesectomy so the woman doesn't have to worry.

You also have to think of it like this, some people don't want to adopt. They want they're own child, they want their own child with their own genes. They want a child with theyre own "Skin and Blood". With my disorder, I might be infertile and I really don't know what I'll do if I am. I we be pretty depressed, thats for sure. Adoption is great, but for me personally, I want a child that is half of everything I am.

This actually brings up a question (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?p=2014396#post2014396) I have

[workingatperfect]

I think of it as a bad thing. Adoption is great and all, but I want a kid whose genes of half mine, and half the man I love. I kind of feel like something would be missing for me if I adopted. As someone who has a possibility of being infertile, it's something I've thought about a lot. Of course, there are medicines to help fertility, but the possibility is still kind of heartbreaking to me. So, I see what you're saying but for me, personally, I see no good in it.

[KillerKing]

It is a really sad thing for those who can't concieve. I know damn well that there are some people out there who can't but deserve to and there's those who are fertile and don't give a crap and just get knocked up and don't care, and then treat their kids like crap. In that sense it's very sad and it is (as Freefall said) emotinally insenstive from that point of view.

I think the fact it helps with keeping the population in check, encourages adoption and gives other kids a chance is more of just putting a bright spin on something terrible. Would anyone like to be the child that was adopted as second best just because a couple couldn't have their own?