ChocolateMilk
November 5th, 2012, 05:04 PM
Hey,
I don't usually vent/talk/ask advice about anything like this..
I don't know if this matters, but I'm 15, female, and I've been self harming on and off for almost a year now, recently I've been getting worse, since about June I've been having the occasional suicidal thought now and again.
I was molested since as early as I can remember up until around 12/13 years old by my grandfather. I didn't see him very often as we live in Scotland and him in England, but it happened whenever I saw him.
I recently told my parents about it all in August, and it turns out it was also happening to other family members and my (currently) 12 year old sister.
Do you ever get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody?
You don't want to smile and you don't want to fake being happy.
But at the same time you don't know exactly what's wrong either.
There isn't really a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. Lately, I've wanted just to be alone.
At least when you're alone no one will ask you what's wrong and refuse to take 'I don't know' or 'I'm fine' as an answer.
I've just been feeling so down, low, sad, miserable, and sometimes just numb.
I have no interest in anything anymore, I have no energy, I see no point in anything anymore. It's getting harder and harder to get out of bed, it's getting harder to see the point in college, it's harder to see the point in life anymore to be perfectly honest. I don't know why though.
I've felt like this for a long time, since at least February of 2011, if not even earlier than that.
Sometimes I wonder if it's just how I am. If feeling like this is just me, my personality
I'm not good at expressing my feelings, so I keep everything bottled inside.
Half the time, I want to tell someone what I'm feeling, but I don't even know to describe it... so I stay quiet.
I dunno what to do. Is this just me overthinking everything?
I don't usually vent/talk/ask advice about anything like this..
I don't know if this matters, but I'm 15, female, and I've been self harming on and off for almost a year now, recently I've been getting worse, since about June I've been having the occasional suicidal thought now and again.
I was molested since as early as I can remember up until around 12/13 years old by my grandfather. I didn't see him very often as we live in Scotland and him in England, but it happened whenever I saw him.
I recently told my parents about it all in August, and it turns out it was also happening to other family members and my (currently) 12 year old sister.
Do you ever get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody?
You don't want to smile and you don't want to fake being happy.
But at the same time you don't know exactly what's wrong either.
There isn't really a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. Lately, I've wanted just to be alone.
At least when you're alone no one will ask you what's wrong and refuse to take 'I don't know' or 'I'm fine' as an answer.
I've just been feeling so down, low, sad, miserable, and sometimes just numb.
I have no interest in anything anymore, I have no energy, I see no point in anything anymore. It's getting harder and harder to get out of bed, it's getting harder to see the point in college, it's harder to see the point in life anymore to be perfectly honest. I don't know why though.
I've felt like this for a long time, since at least February of 2011, if not even earlier than that.
Sometimes I wonder if it's just how I am. If feeling like this is just me, my personality
I'm not good at expressing my feelings, so I keep everything bottled inside.
Half the time, I want to tell someone what I'm feeling, but I don't even know to describe it... so I stay quiet.
I dunno what to do. Is this just me overthinking everything?