Dawn01
November 4th, 2012, 08:12 PM
I have many friends and I've always tried to be a good friend, a nice person, but there are these two guys... I just can't explain what happened with them!! Like "WTF?!", I don't know they are both crazy or if I'm the problem!!
I used to hang out with them both at the same time, in a trio... Let's call them Friend 1 and Friend 2.
Friend 1: We used to talk almost everyday, he would always give me good advices! I used admire him because he was very smart! I told him that I was interested in Friend 2, and he said he would help me with it... But I don't know of he really helped, he kind of made it more difficult! Sometimes I would thought that was because he was in love with me, since he was always texting me and he once said to me that he was in love with a girl that he knew she would never like him, and that she was someone that I knew. I told him "hey, never say never! Can I help you to get her?" and he just refused... Man, I think I friendzoned without even notice! But sometimes I thought that he actually was in love with Friend 2... REALLY, he was always giving him presents, writing texts about him, inviting him to go to his home, he would say he was his only male friend! And he once told me that he had kissed a boy in the past... The problem with Friend 1 is that he used to tell me stories about things that happened in his school, and when I asked other people from his school about that stories, they were like "What? That never happened!", "that's not true". He introduced me some of his virtual friends and I would talk to them, but once I was just derping in my tumblr when I saw someone reblogging a picture of a guy who looked A LOT like one of these friends, and when I googled the picture and discovered that his friends were facebook fakes! After that I just gave up on our friendship, that was too creepy for me! A few time after the accident I started getting a lot of anonymous messages on tumblr, they were nice in the begin, asking about how I was feeling, but in the end I received some really offensive messages and I just had to delete my tumblr. I think that was Friend 1 that sent me them, but I'm not 100% sure.
Friend 2: My almost lover. The reason of most of my recent topics here, and of my sadness. He was very moody. We would talk for hours, he was such a gentleman! Friend 1 told me that he said that I was very pretty and that maybe someday he would try with me. When I ended my friendship with Friend 1, I told him why, but for some reason he and the other guy continued to be friends :what: Our problems began in the beginning of the year, when he just came to me asking to give him time, for no reason! I was like "But we are just friends!! Why are you doing it to me?", and he said that just wanted to be a little far from me, nothing pessoal, he just wanted to organize things in his mind. I was desolated and I even blamed Friend 1, but he denied many times. It was a huge confusion. One day I was so stressed that I yelled at Friend 1 saying that he was creeping me, and it made things much worse with Friend 2. In the end, I just gave him the time that he wanted. We started to talk again in July, and in August, we started doing a course together. My feelings for him started to grow like crazy in a point that I would always flirt with him, and he seemed ok with it. It was like the confusion never happend! And them I decided to move to the next step: In 29th of September, when we were saying goodbye, I kissed him and he kissed me back, we spent like 2 minutes kissing and it just stopped because someone called my name. After the kiss, he texted me saying that he couldn't correspond because he liked other "person" (PS: he really just said "person"). I mean, he let me flirt with him, let people make jokes about us being together, kissed me for not a short time...We had some arguments and he asked me to give him some time, saying that he was confused. I forced him to tell me what was going on because I wasn't understanding a thing and I was getting real mad at him, and them he said that he was with another person and that maybe we couldn't be friends anymore because that "would end up in tragedy". Since them, I'm trying to make him change ideia and to restore our friendship, I let a big message on his facebook and I don't know if he is ignoring me or if he just still haven't seen it :/ If he doesn't want my friendship anymore, I'm not going to force him though.
So, it's me or it's them? Really... These two are the reason of my actual depression, I do have other friends, but I use to love them a lot, I just don't know if I did the right thing! I feel like I'm some kind of fail everytime I remember about them :cry:
I used to hang out with them both at the same time, in a trio... Let's call them Friend 1 and Friend 2.
Friend 1: We used to talk almost everyday, he would always give me good advices! I used admire him because he was very smart! I told him that I was interested in Friend 2, and he said he would help me with it... But I don't know of he really helped, he kind of made it more difficult! Sometimes I would thought that was because he was in love with me, since he was always texting me and he once said to me that he was in love with a girl that he knew she would never like him, and that she was someone that I knew. I told him "hey, never say never! Can I help you to get her?" and he just refused... Man, I think I friendzoned without even notice! But sometimes I thought that he actually was in love with Friend 2... REALLY, he was always giving him presents, writing texts about him, inviting him to go to his home, he would say he was his only male friend! And he once told me that he had kissed a boy in the past... The problem with Friend 1 is that he used to tell me stories about things that happened in his school, and when I asked other people from his school about that stories, they were like "What? That never happened!", "that's not true". He introduced me some of his virtual friends and I would talk to them, but once I was just derping in my tumblr when I saw someone reblogging a picture of a guy who looked A LOT like one of these friends, and when I googled the picture and discovered that his friends were facebook fakes! After that I just gave up on our friendship, that was too creepy for me! A few time after the accident I started getting a lot of anonymous messages on tumblr, they were nice in the begin, asking about how I was feeling, but in the end I received some really offensive messages and I just had to delete my tumblr. I think that was Friend 1 that sent me them, but I'm not 100% sure.
Friend 2: My almost lover. The reason of most of my recent topics here, and of my sadness. He was very moody. We would talk for hours, he was such a gentleman! Friend 1 told me that he said that I was very pretty and that maybe someday he would try with me. When I ended my friendship with Friend 1, I told him why, but for some reason he and the other guy continued to be friends :what: Our problems began in the beginning of the year, when he just came to me asking to give him time, for no reason! I was like "But we are just friends!! Why are you doing it to me?", and he said that just wanted to be a little far from me, nothing pessoal, he just wanted to organize things in his mind. I was desolated and I even blamed Friend 1, but he denied many times. It was a huge confusion. One day I was so stressed that I yelled at Friend 1 saying that he was creeping me, and it made things much worse with Friend 2. In the end, I just gave him the time that he wanted. We started to talk again in July, and in August, we started doing a course together. My feelings for him started to grow like crazy in a point that I would always flirt with him, and he seemed ok with it. It was like the confusion never happend! And them I decided to move to the next step: In 29th of September, when we were saying goodbye, I kissed him and he kissed me back, we spent like 2 minutes kissing and it just stopped because someone called my name. After the kiss, he texted me saying that he couldn't correspond because he liked other "person" (PS: he really just said "person"). I mean, he let me flirt with him, let people make jokes about us being together, kissed me for not a short time...We had some arguments and he asked me to give him some time, saying that he was confused. I forced him to tell me what was going on because I wasn't understanding a thing and I was getting real mad at him, and them he said that he was with another person and that maybe we couldn't be friends anymore because that "would end up in tragedy". Since them, I'm trying to make him change ideia and to restore our friendship, I let a big message on his facebook and I don't know if he is ignoring me or if he just still haven't seen it :/ If he doesn't want my friendship anymore, I'm not going to force him though.
So, it's me or it's them? Really... These two are the reason of my actual depression, I do have other friends, but I use to love them a lot, I just don't know if I did the right thing! I feel like I'm some kind of fail everytime I remember about them :cry: