Sooo confused :s

[Charlie99]

So, I've been really confused about my sexuality for a while now, I've talked with my parents and they've been so supportive and helpful.
I've had feelings for boys before and have never been interested in girls, if I'm with my mates and we see a really good looking girl they'll be like all "she's well fit" and I'll be like "she's nice" and that'll be the end of it.
The thing is I don't know weather it's hormones or not, if I see a guy naked or whatever, I'll think "he's hot" I'm not sure weather it's hormones or not.
My parents say just give it time, and if i am gay then they'd be totally cool with it.
I'm confused :s

[Lost in the Echo]

Well it's cool that either way they're supportive about it. Since you're only 13, you shouldn't try to label yourself any sexuality yet, because there is a possibility you feel this way because of hormones. So sinde your parents are supportive, you shouldn't try to label yourself yet, it should be clear what orientation you are by the end of puberty. Until then, just enjoy living the life of a teenage boy :)

[PinkFloyd]

Well look at a girl and ask your self if youd want to have sex with her. Then look at a guy and ask your self if you want to have sex with him. If both seem fine then youre probably bisexual. I hope I helped.

- Rob

[Charlie99]

Cheers mate, I appreciate that, I guess I'll just have to see what the future holds, maybe its could be hormones

[Charlie99]

Thanks guys, you've both helped a great deal

[Stryker125]

I think your parents have the right idea on this. Just give it time, and try not to let it bother you too much. You've still got plenty of time to figure yourself out. The amount of hormones running through your body at this age can be confusing enough, so don't rush to put a label on yourself. Just have fun, and go with the flow. No worries :P

[Coolboi]

your puberty is on an hold on ! here you go o hold on you are 13 teen an just getting started . all will be ok gay st8 or bi you will be perfict just as you are

[IAMWILL]

Remember its not about what gender turns you on, its about which gender you can imagine yourself marrying and growing old together with. Almost every guy goes through a stage where they think they like guys and a lot of guys will still be turned on by other teenage guys until they are nearly finished with puberty. You are 13, and you are certainly in that stage.

[Allain1996]

Your only 13 bro. Your hormones are probably raging, so it could just be that.
Either way, if you are gay, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, so don't let anybody ever tell you otherwise!!
I'm totally straight, but I've got several gay friends and I take it personally and help defend them when somebody criticizes their sexuality.
Also, it's better than you could ever imagine that your parents are so supportive of your decision either way. So many of my (gay) friends have to hide it from their parents due to their beliefs, so it's great to have parents that see sexuality with an open mind!
Also, don't label your sexuality quite yet. As I said, you're just 13 bro, and your hormones are going insane probably, so give it a few years and see how life goes!
Good luck bro!! :D

[Shady-Elite]

I used to think about guys as well, But its just curiosity. Well at least in my case.

[NSoKShannon]

You can't really tell at 13. I know you change into who you'll be forever when you enter high school. That's when I'll make my final decision.

[dontfiguremeout]

Do you like guys or girls emotionally? Do you like one just emotionally? Or do you like both emotionally? And yeah, listen to your parents, and give it some time! Once you think about stuff, try stuff, then figure out what you are!

[xXl0sth0peXx]

This is better fit in sexuality.

:arrow: Teen Sexuality

[TigerBoy]

Remember its not about what gender turns you on, its about which gender you can imagine yourself marrying and growing old together with. Almost every guy goes through a stage where they think they like guys and a lot of guys will still be turned on by other teenage guys until they are nearly finished with puberty. You are 13, and you are certainly in that stage.

Not all gay guys want to marry and stick with the same guy (or girl in the case of a straight guy). It is very much about what gender turns you on. For some people the emotional bit is just as (if not more) important. I'm in the latter category, but we must remember not everyone is.

Also the general point about "every guy going through gay phases" isn't really accurate according to modern pediatrics. What used to be referred to as 'homosexual phases' just meant boys prefer the company of other boys in a general sense until a certain point in development.

Hormones raise your sex drive and lower inhibitions, they don't make you 'gay', they just make you more likely to explore things that interest you even if only a little bit.

Its a subtle difference but important to 'own' your sexuality and not blame it all on chemicals.

[Charlie99]

Cheers guys, thanks for all the help :P

[vernon]

jus take it slow .what your feeling is just what your hormones are tellin you.so give this some thought

[IAMWILL]

Not all gay guys want to marry and stick with the same guy (or girl in the case of a straight guy). It is very much about what gender turns you on. For some people the emotional bit is just as (if not more) important. I'm in the latter category, but we must remember not everyone is.
During puberty, it is not about what gender turns you on. After puberty that is a factor.

Also the general point about "every guy going through gay phases" isn't really accurate according to modern pediatrics. What used to be referred to as 'homosexual phases' just meant boys prefer the company of other boys in a general sense until a certain point in development.

Hormones raise your sex drive and lower inhibitions, they don't make you 'gay', they just make you more likely to explore things that interest you even if only a little bit.
Firstly, I never said gay phases, nor did I say that people turn gay. Secondly, this is medically recognized, I had a lengthy conversation with my pediatrician about it. I don't know where you are getting your information but it is recognized within the medical community that the majority adolescent boys go through a stage in development when they are aroused by the same sex. This is due to a surge of hormones (you are correct in saying there is a rise in sex drive) and natural human curiosity.

Its a subtle difference but important to 'own' your sexuality and not blame it all on chemicals.
I agree here, but most 13 year olds are quick to jump to conclusions. No one can own their sexuality until they are 100% sure about it, and generally teenagers aren't sure about anything, much less about sexuality.

[TigerBoy]

During puberty, it is not about what gender turns you on. After puberty that is a factor.
So are you suggesting romance and emotion is only relevant after puberty? Or are you stating that as a matter of course everyone is bisexual during puberty ?!


Firstly, I never said gay phases,
You said:
Almost every guy goes through a stage where they think they like guys
"stage", "phase", not really any significant difference from what I can see.


nor did I say that people turn gay.

I didn't say you did, but this does seem to be a common and incorrect response in this forum.


Secondly, this is medically recognized, I had a lengthy conversation with my pediatrician about it. I don't know where you are getting your information but it is recognized within the medical community that the majority adolescent boys go through a stage in development when they are aroused by the same sex.
It really isn't the universal medical position. It is well known that many Christian organisations in the US particularly have considerably influenced studies (often sponsored by them) regarding homosexuality to suggest all sorts of things, including ideas such as 'phases' exist in order to fit their doctrine that homosexuality it is some kind of disorder or aberration.
In the UK where we have far less interference from religion, the position is much clearer.
Even in the journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, articles I've found such as this one (http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/92/4/631.full.pdf) do not state anything more than
During the adolescent years, many youths engage in sexual experimentation. Sexual behavior during this period does not predict future sexual orientation.


Note this does not state "the majority of adolescent boys" or anything about 'phases' or "stages". It also makes the very dubious comment just prior to this:

However, the expression of sexual behaviours and lifestyle is a choice for all teenagers regardless of sexual orientation.

... which is contradicting the current position of the American Psychological Association who state (http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/sexual-orientation.aspx)

"most people experience little or no sense of choice about their sexual orientation."


(and the UK equivalent is much more emphatic), thereby illustrating my point that the subject is still greatly subject to bias in the US, and that the conclusions the previous quote drew are actually incomplete and misleading, in that 'sexual orientation' by their terms is only what you tell other people it is.

So this is not about 'the majority of boys' finding they have same-sex attraction as a result of some temporary physiological / psychological change during adolescence, but rather about hormones making you horny and uninhibited, so that you try stuff that seems interesting to you. Some guys find they like it, some find they don't. Some like it enough to keep doing it to some degree, some don't like it enough to bother with the social stigma or whatever. The attraction doesn't go away due to leaving adolescence and gaining maturity, but rather as a result of experience and regaining self control.

This may seem a subtle difference as I said, but because of the whitewashing of this issue by the religious right, it is important to point out that homosexuality is not at any point a 'phase' in the transient sense they mean.

[Benm]

it could be just a phase, but i'm assuming if you've been attracted to boys before and are not attracted to girls you're probably gay, maybe bisexual. cool of your parents to support you!

[justinglives]

Most people, if they r honest, can relate sexually to either sex.
Its a matter of whether or not we act on our urges.
Take a look here and not one guy or girl hasn't at least [email protected]@ked at a member of the same sex with some questions as to what a physical contact / relationship would b like...

[TigerBoy]

Most people, if they r honest, can relate sexually to either sex.

While Kinsey identified a broad spectrum of sexuality, the distribution over that spectrum is not even. For example this study (http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr036.pdf) of 4,958 US 18-19 year olds shows that 82% identify as straight, 9.4% mostly straight, 4.8% equally bi, 0.9% mostly gay and 1.3% as gay (1.2% 'not sure')

None of these studies are perfect because of the social stigma involved of course, but it does show that 'most people' (82%) only identify as straight with only 15.6% who 'can relate sexually to either sex'.

I suspect if you asked kids our age in the UK today you'd have a lot more than 15.6% - if anyone finds recent UK figures similar to the above it would be interesting to compare.

[dusman77]

It might just be hormones, don't rush into thinking you're gay or bi yet. (Man, some time I need to listen to my own advice...)

[ets99]

Honestly just sit down and think about what you want. Were do you imagine yourself in the future? Those people that say " It's just a phase, or horomones,or you don't know what you want." But how so? People who are your friends will support you for who you are. If they don't, they're not your friends. That's what I did. Maybe it will work for you.