Kinda complicated... girl i like has a gay friend that likes me....

[Cam16]

ok, so i am a 16 year old guy, %100 straight, and kinda of naturally homophobic (i dont hate on them or bully them, im just uncomfortable around them), anyways so theres this drop dead gorgeous girl i like, and i think is starting to like me, shes been coming to all my highschool football games, and cheering for me, but theres a catch, her best friend is gay, but like flaming queen gay, like the guy sounds like prince when he talks... anyways i digress, hes been coming to all our games, and even practice, and hes always with the girl i like, but whenever im around them he flirts with me, and it seriously makes me feel uncomfortable, but i dont want to say that and possible blow my chances with this girl... what the hell do i do?

[FreeFall]

Ask yourself this; is it worth it to make yourself terribly uncomfortable and possibly make other homosexuals think you're open to their advances, just so a girl doesn't go "whaaaa you don't like my friend like oh my gawd you suck"?

You don't need to make yourself a doormat and people pleaser, show her you're not below standing up for yourself and feelings, it shows you'll stand up for her's if she's ever uncomfortable too. If she gets up in arms and guns a blazing just because you're stopping something that makes you uncomfortable though, she wasn't that great of a girl. Friend and girl aren't a package deal, maybe pull her aside and tell her that he makes you uncomfortable and if she could ask him to knock it off. Honestly, you accepting his advances may be sending her mixed signals anyways, beware the friend zone.

[TigerBoy]

Brilliant advice from FreeFall as always.

As a gay guy, I would still feel the same as you if a very out gay guy was hitting on me when I was trying to hit on a guy I liked. It isn't his sexuality that is the problem here. For what its worth I've had girls crushing on me and that made me feel uncomfortable. I don't think that feeling makes you a homophobe, don't worry.

First off, you must be respectful and polite to him. You must also make it clear you aren't interested in romance. You could for example tell him something like

"I think you're really great but you should know I'm not gay just so there's no misunderstanding"

What I mean is you don't have to punch him out or generally freak to get your point accross. If you want in with this girl, you really want this guy to be on your side to help you :)

[Pierce]

While all 3 of you are together ask her out on a date or something and tell the dude our straight, but don't be rude. You don't want to hurt him by letting him down. Also I think you should work on being uncomfortable around gay people. When you get older there will be A LOT more gay people and you should try to accept and feel comortable about it now. Good luck.

[Cam16]

Great advice from both you!, thanks a bunch, but i try my best to show that im not interested in him, when im talking with her, im kind of indifferent to him, avoiding eye contact, and such, but i think he may be getting the wrong idea, cause when i first met him i was overly nice to him, i shook hid hand, made small talk, etc to try and get in her good side. ( a little more info, everyone knows im straight, ive hooked up with her (female) friend) i dont want to hurt his feelings, because he could in turn hurt my chances with this girl, sorry for the long post, and i dont mean to come off as a dog or a player or anything. thanks a bunch!!!

[Pierce]

Great advice from both you!, thanks a bunch, but i try my best to show that im not interested in him, when im talking with her, im kind of indifferent to him, avoiding eye contact, and such, but i think he may be getting the wrong idea, cause when i first met him i was overly nice to him, i shook hid hand, made small talk, etc to try and get in her good side. ( a little more info, everyone knows im straight, ive hooked up with her (female) friend) i dont want to hurt his feelings, because he could in turn hurt my chances with this girl, sorry for the long post, and i dont mean to come off as a dog or a player or anything. thanks a bunch!!!

He might like the idea of a hard to get straight guy lol. I'd ask her if he likes you or just plain out tell her that you feel uncomfortable around him, not because of the fact that he's gay, but because you feel like he is hitting on you. That is not rude at all and she will understand. Then maybe ask her on a date or something right after saying that. Also i don't think making small talk or shaking a gay guys hand is too nice or showing him that you're interested lol. You really wanna get with this girl lol so i wish you the best of luck!!!! I believe if you do what I say he will lay off the flirting and she will understand. Again Best of luck!!! If you want further help send me a messae I'll be glad to help.

[Drew5]

I'd say, dude, save yourself the trouble, I'm reeeealy not interested and it makes me uncomfortable. It's direct, but not rude and it shows him you know what's up, so if he's doing it to make you squirm he kinda has to cut it out or expect some kind of reaction.

[Magnus Bane]

everyone's advice is good but take it from another gay guy... if you ask him nicel y to stop flirting with you and that you want to be his friend just the flirting is uncomfortable... i think he will understand... but if he keeps it up get this girl you want to go out with to talk to him... that usually works... but i mean i think if you do as i just said he would stop flirting with you... and about being uncomfortable around gays... i hope you know that 51% of the population of males is gay... and growing so if i were you i would get used to it.:cool:

[Hermes96]

i'm gay my self but i understand where you are coming from i know a lot of my friends dont like some of my other gay friends as they are to flamboent but if you rearly like this girl her mates shouldn't matter

[teen.jpg]

Just tell him you aren't interested? He's a person, just because he's gay doesn't mean you have to make it more complicated then it needs to be.

[lukene]

ok, so i am a 16 year old guy, %100 straight, and kinda of naturally homophobic (i dont hate on them or bully them, im just uncomfortable around them), anyways so theres this drop dead gorgeous girl i like, and i think is starting to like me, shes been coming to all my highschool football games, and cheering for me, but theres a catch, her best friend is gay, but like flaming queen gay, like the guy sounds like prince when he talks... anyways i digress, hes been coming to all our games, and even practice, and hes always with the girl i like, but whenever im around them he flirts with me, and it seriously makes me feel uncomfortable, but i dont want to say that and possible blow my chances with this girl... what the hell do i do?

I'm gay and even those kind of over the top 'I'm so gay' guys annoy me haha

[jayyy-lmao]

Just say to the guy "Look. I respect you for being who you are, and being proud of it. But you are making me uncomfortable. So can you please back off a little bit?"