I don't know...

[Dangoblin]

So after coming out for the most part, I finally got a boyfriend. We've been dating for 4 days now. He's so sweet and caring but, tonight I learned something I didn't really want to know. We were oovooing and he was with some of his girl-friends and one of them asked me if I was a virgin. I said yeah (it's the truth). So I asked him if he was and he said yeah too. Then came the question, how far have you gotten? Well, I told him not very far (which again is the truth).

When I asked him, he was like "pretty far". Then somehow it came up that he blew a guy. I will admit, that did bother me. It bothed me because a week or so ago, i asked him if hes ever done anything with a guy. He said yeah, but it wasnt "sex or anything". But wouldnt you consider blowing someone under one of those categories?! I think what bothered me the most was that he lied.
After I heard that, it took most of my strength to keep a smile so he didn't think anything was wrong. So like 10ish mins later I had my sister come in to my room and "ask" for help so I could get off. By this point I was just, idk upset I guess.

Then a few minutes later, I texted him saying (here's our exact convorsation):
Me: So I was just wondering... Why did you blow that guy? I'm not mad or nothing, I just wanna know.
Him: Cause he was hot, and I felt like it I guess. I regret doing it though.
Me: oh ok haha
Him: yeah :P you don't think I'm like... Gross now do you?
Me: not at all, it just kinda... Shocked me. May I ask why you regretted it?
Him: Because he's a giant a**hole.

Now, the fact that he blew the guy because he was hot gets to me. I know I shouldn't let his past get in the way of our relationship.. But I mean, he lied to me number one, and number two.. Blowing a guy because their hot sounds like all you want is sex...

Can I get some opinions on this? Like what should I do? I'm so confused and hurt right now

[Mortal Coil]

Well, perhaps he honestly doesn't consider blowjobs to be "sex." Legally, it is, no doubt about that, but there are lots of people who will consider a girl a virgin (for instance) even though she's given a blowjob.
As for the fact that he blew the guy "because he was hot," there' a pretty good chance that it's actually a very complicated story that he didn't want to tell you for whatever reason.
You two should probably talk about this if it's making you so uncomfortable.

[TigerBoy]

Sounds like your boyfriend learned a valuable lesson - sex doesn't matter with someone who doesn't matter.

You now have a guy who has learned that he'll enjoy himself much more with someone he cares about (i.e. you) and maybe even learned something so he's better at it.

People make mistakes all the time. You have to allow them the chance to correct them if needed and to learn from them, otherwise you'll end up very lonely I suspect.

[workingatperfect]

I doubt that, in his mind, he was lying. When you ask if he's done something with a guy, that implies sexual activities, so saying it wasn't sex can mean anything but actual intercourse. I would probably have assumed he had gone that far unless he said something like "just kissing" or something. So yeah, I don't think he was lying, I think you just interpreted it wrong.

And as for him blowing a guy cause he was hot... Well, you guys are young, people make mistakes and like Olly said, he obviously learned from that if he regrets it.

Just talk to him, make sure you're on the same page and all that stuff. And maybe in the future, be clearer when you're talking about stuff like that so confusions like this don't happen often.

[Pierce]

Perhaps he didn't want to tell you the first time maybe because he was embarassed or wanted to just shrug it off like it wasn't a big deal. Then when it came up in conversation with his friends he either wanted to say it and get it out of the way or his friends knew about it and he couldn't lie again when they knew the truth. (Better him tell you then his friends). He made a mistake which he now regrets, people make mistakes and you have to forgive. It seems like I'm defending him but I'm glad that you just came out (read your other thread =p) and you've already found someone who likes you. Anyway I think I'm talking too much so good luck, forgive him and go from there. Hope everything works out for you two!

[catw]

Sometimes people dont like to admit to things because there embarressed/ regret it and worry how they are judged or he may have simply missunderstood what you meant by sexual things, easily done as everyone classifies things differently. Am sure you guys can talk things through sort it out and come through the other side stronger :)