Relationship Status: Non-existent

[LucyLovestrukk]

Hey everyone, I thought I'd give you a bit of background info on myself first: I'm a girl, I'm 15 (16 in December), I go to an all girls school, I go to a lot of clubs (youth clubs, drama schools etc.), and I've never had a boyfriend.

I know a lot of you will probably reply to this with "you've got plenty of time to get a boyfriend" or "you're only young" or "the right guy will find you" and although those sound great, they really don't help me, so please don't respond with anything like that.

Basically my problem is that, i'm single and I hate it. I've never had a proper relationship before and everyone that i've nearly had has slipped away, due to them not being interested, or me not being good enough or something.

I don't consider myself to be exceptionally gorgeous, nor ugly. But I consider myself to have many qualities that are good and would be nice for a girlfriend to have. But no one seems to want them. All of my friends have either had relationships, been asked out or been kissed/flirted at by boys. And I havent.

I am quite picky on what I would like in a boyfriend, but I do think it is important to know what you want. I just can't seem to find the right guy!!
I'm generally very outgoing but when it comes to hot guys, my confidence disappears!

I really need help! How do I find the right guy? How do I ask him out? And where do I find him? I'm sick of being single, I want that perfectly cute relationship, even just for a while!

Thanks in advance
Lucy :wub:

[dontfiguremeout]

Well I think you should just put yourself out there! Now that quote "the right guy will come to you" I think is kinda false! In order for a relationship to happen, you need to come halfway, and he does too! Because if you just rely on the guy coming to you, then most likely you won't get a guy! So putting yourself out their for guys I would say is semi halfway! To get full halfway, is when you find a guy you actually like, get to know him, take time and show him in a way you like him, and see what happens! That is halfway, cause then the guy will see, and you can tell whether or not he is on board. So that's just how I see finding a guy for you right now. I think once you start dating and stuff, you'll find out how you would rather find guys! Hope this helped for you, and if it didn't, sorry! Best of luck! :)

[FreeFall]

You may hate it but the only answer you can get is this: Time.
Very few of the boys are going to fit the standards you have, which are good, it's good to have standards for yourself, it shows value and self-respect.
You need a guy that'll fit you, suit you. Your standards may change even, that's what dating's about. Finding what you need and fit with.

Let's say, since you're in such a rush, you give up and drop your standards. You go out with any guy, you pick Joe by your locker. Joe sucks. His hygiene's awful, he's going to hit you when he's angry, he'll sleep with anything that moves, but hey you got a boyfriend right?
Or you change yourself to attract more guys, whatever they show on TV or in magazine. Your wearing teeny weeny skirts, your bra is exposed and too small, your face is plastered in make-up. You're driving away decent guys and all the pigs are flocking to you, but hey, at least there's a line of boys waiting to date you.

You cannot force a romantic relationship. You cannot pick any ole boy and make it happen. He has to like you, there's got to be mutually and reciprocation and the only way for that to happen is time.
When the right guy comes, you'll find he makes your shyness melt away. When the right guy comes, you'll feel more shy than before. It doesn't make sense, but at the same time it does. But at 15, your chances of finding the "soul mate/right guy" is very slim. So don't look for something long term. I'm not saying date a new guy every 5 months, but looking to date for the long run puts on pressure and makes it feel more stressful and worrisome for you. It'll happen when it happens. Don't take that too literally, I'm not saying just sit at home doing nothing, you've got to be active, but don't be looking for it everywhere you go. Desperation isn't flattering, and it really makes the confidence drop with time.

You know who you are. Stand firm in that. People now-a-days are just like pieces of paper blowing in the wind, no stability and no sense of self. You've got that, hold onto it. Love yourself, you'll be fine. When that guy that has the same feelings comes along, it'll have been worth it all, the wait (: