Your sexuality and losing friends

[MattT]

Have any of you guys (or girls) lost friends after you came out to them? I have and I wanted to know if anyone else has.

[ReginaGeorge]

I'm only out to around 7 people, and I'm still friends with all of them our relationship hasn't changed. I don't think I will lose anyone when I come out fully, I'm just not quiet ready to do that yet. :)

[Lyra Heartstrings]

I've lost one friend coming out, mainly because I wasn't aware he was a homophobe. It will happen, yes. It's pretty sad it does.

[Then_Boom]

I haven't but I just thought I'd post - I genuinely don't understand how someone could fall out with another person that is gay/a lesbian. There's nothing wrong with it in my opinion and if you'd had the guts to come out, what gives them the right to treat you like that? You learn who your true friends are; a proper friend wouldn't treat you that way..
Congratulations on coming out by the way!

[TigerBoy]

It is sad, and it hurts, but a homophobe isn't the type of person I want to be friends with anyway. I remember reading an article about a married gay guy who has a family told all his facebook friends to unfriend him if they intended to vote for Mitt Romney. You are better off without them.

[haylestorm]

I'm Bi and most of my friends didn't bat an eyelid when I started dating a girl.... but some did and people can certainly be cruel.

You just have to be yourself and if people don't accept that then you need better friends anyway. That's what i think.

[Twilly F. Sniper]

Im lucky, none (AT LEAST THUS FAR IN THE PROCESS) I am so respected a person at my school, nothing matters. A good majority of my friends are homophobic, but with me, they simply dont give a $#!+.

[dontfiguremeout]

I'm straight, but I know if any of my friends came out to me, I would be there for them the whole time, because this is the time where they need the most help ever!

[Mortal Coil]

Well, kind of, but to be fair I was the one who left the friend, not the other way around. I just got fucking tired of them telling me that my "standards are just too high" and asking me when I chose to be this way. So I ditched him.

[LiamC]

Luckily all my friends are really supportive, coming out is a time where you need lots of support and help from your friends so I can only imagine how horrible it is to lose a friend at this time :(

[joshM1996]

Have any of you guys (or girls) lost friends after you came out to them? I have and I wanted to know if anyone else has.

Honestly, if they stopped being friends with you for something like that, then they weren't a real friend to begin with, a friend should stay your friend no matter what

[Apollo.]

I'm fully out to 4 friends just now and they have all been supportive but they are the ones I always thought would be. I am very worried about telling other friends I think I will probably lose them, as others have said though who wants to be friends with a homophobe?

It's always tough thinking about losing friends but if you think about it the ones that will fall out with you for something you can't change aren't good friends.

[Noirtier]

Yes. Several friends, in fact. It doesn't help that my area is mostly homophobic, but I've found a couple people who accept me as I am. I've had a looooot of friends abandon and hurt me because I'm gay though. Many more than one probably should. Others have helped me through it though, and now I'm to the point where I can say that if they can't accept me for the person I am, then I'm better off without them, and I won't let their opinion affect me in such a negative way.

[Destinyforce]

It is sad, and it hurts, but a homophobe isn't the type of person I want to be friends with anyway. I remember reading an article about a married gay guy who has a family told all his facebook friends to unfriend him if they intended to vote for Mitt Romney. You are better off without them.

I'm bi, yet I'd vote for mitt. Yes he might be homophobic, but i don't think that needs to determine his role as president, he just needs to turn the country around. So take it as a surprise. Go Mitt!

[TigerBoy]

I'm bi, yet I'd vote for mitt. Yes he might be homophobic, but i don't think that needs to determine his role as president, he just needs to turn the country around. So take it as a surprise. Go Mitt!

Then you are a turkey voting for Christmas on the assumption that Romney is going to throw you a better dinner party. An assumption that the majority of the onlooking world (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-20008687)considers to be false, incidentally.

If you want to surround yourself with homophobes and homophobic policy then don't drag the rest of us in with you thank you very much, and try to keep on topic.

I stand by my point to the OP - you are well rid of those who would deny you your right to equal treatment at as citizen and especially those would rather see you dead beforehand.

[nice]

I'm sorry but when and if I do come out ill be damned if I lose a friend over something like that I'd probably go off on them then go and cry or be sad later. Especially if its one of my best friends I think I'd die if it happens with best fiends not accepting me.

[Pipo]

That's why you don't tell them.

[nice]

That's why you don't tell them.

I've thought of that before just not telling anyone but that could be pretty hard.

[Abyssal Echo]

Have any of you guys (or girls) lost friends after you came out to them? I have and I wanted to know if anyone else has.

yup I lost a number of so called friends at school.

[Pipo]

I've thought of that before just not telling anyone but that could be pretty hard.

It's not really that hard, sexuality shouldn't effect your friendship with someone if you good him/her as good friend you don't care about his sexuality.

That's why you should only tell to those people who you think should know your sexuality. And those who you don't want them to know you're gay you don't tell them it's simple. Everyone doesn't need to know you're gay just tell those who you keep as good friends and if they don't accept it then they aren't your friends? Why I should bother to talk to them if my sexuality matters to them so much that I'm different person then..

Just tell to those who you think it's important for them to know

1. Why should they know
2. What will they gain about it
3. How important you think it's for them to know it

just consider why you should tell it's not that important when you start thinking about it.

[nice]

But if you feel someone in my opinion it's gonna get out wether it was an accident or on purpose.

[Smeagol]

I haven't lost any friends as a biromantic. I never had the friends to lose. I'm sorry you've lost friends though, but if they're that narrow minded you're better off without them, there's plenty of open minded people out there.

[nice]

Birnomatic?? What's that

[Smeagol]

Being biromantic is being able to fall in love romantically with either sex and not feeling sexual attraction. Haha I have to explain a lot.

[nice]

Oh ok I get it

[TigerBoy]

Just tell to those who you think it's important for them to know

1. Why should they know
2. What will they gain about it
3. How important you think it's for them to know it

just consider why you should tell it's not that important when you start thinking about it.

I was going to disagree with your earlier post because it sounded like 'don't tell people, period'. This advice is really good though: a lot of people feel they have to broadcast it everywhere they go (you don't) and a lot of people are at the other end not wanting to tell anyone.

[nice]

Well I'm at the end where I don't really want anyone to know till I'm at least 18 and Ive moved.

[Twilly F. Sniper]

I think I just lost a few today... about 1 or 2.

[nice]

I think I just lost a few today... about 1 or 2.

In sorry did you just come out to everyone today?

[disassociation2016]

Have any of you guys (or girls) lost friends after you came out to them? I have and I wanted to know if anyone else has.

I told one of my friends, a female. We've gotten more distant since then. It's probably because she liked me, but I don't really care. If she doesn't want me as just a friend I'll get over it.

[Destinyforce]

Then you are a turkey voting for Christmas on the assumption that Romney is going to throw you a better dinner party. An assumption that the majority of the onlooking world (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-20008687)considers to be false, incidentally.

If you want to surround yourself with homophobes and homophobic policy then don't drag the rest of us in with you thank you very much, and try to keep on topic.

I stand by my point to the OP - you are well rid of those who would deny you your right to equal treatment at as citizen and especially those would rather see you dead beforehand.
He's a christian, he only stands by his beliefs, he can't just abandon what he believes in. It's complicated when you are religious. Too bad the american people cannot be told the truth about our President, and will forever be discarded in History. They say history can never be re-written, well explain this.

And again with the homophobic policy that you speak of. I am bi, and to be honest i was taken back by Romney's thoughts about Gay America, but then again had to think back to the better good for all the people. Most of the lies directed to Romney were told by the News media shoving it down peoples throats day in and day out, we have to be smarter, and do what is beneficial to everyone.

[TigerBoy]

The only link between your post and the thread topic is that you seem not to see the danger in accepting homophobia unchallenged. People here are posting about bigots turning their backs on friends, and yet you seem to think that the LGBT community is being closed-minded in its views of one of the biggest homophobes of the lot. Romney who would not only NOT be a friend to LGBT people in the first place, but he has stated in his campaign materials that he intends to severely limit our civil rights in very specific ways.

He's a christian, he only stands by his beliefs, he can't just abandon what he believes in. It's complicated when you are religious.
Obama is a Christian, and yet he isn't using religion to justify bigotry. Not so complicated if you don't want it to be.

Too bad the american people cannot be told the truth about our President, and will forever be discarded in History.

What truth? In what way can't it be told? Sounds like a mysterious conspiracy theory but you haven't even explained the conspiracy.

They say history can never be re-written, well explain this.
Because "they" are clearly stupid. History gets re-written all the time. Its standard practice for conquerors and politicians. They even have a name for them - "revisionists (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historical_revisionism_%28negationism%29)".


And again with the homophobic policy that you speak of. I am bi, and to be honest i was taken back by Romney's thoughts about Gay America, but then again had to think back to the better good for all the people.
Indeed - hence "Turkey voting for Christmas". You'll sing his praises even while he lets everyone else baste you with maple syrup.

You seem to be forgetting that this thread is about losing friends to homophobia. If you don't stand up for yourself and your own rights against homophobia don't expect anyone else to. To gamble your own rights and freedoms away on a candidate who the rest of the world (and your own people) have no faith in seems beyond foolish.


Most of the lies directed to Romney were told by the News media shoving it down peoples throats day in and day out, we have to be smarter, and do what is beneficial to everyone.
Oh please, if you are urging people to open their minds and think clearly I suggest you do so yourself first. There are plenty of horrible things said by Romney that are a matter of record and indeed part of their campaign. If you read independent articles (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-20245853) you'll see that their own strategists and party members have acknowledged they need to become less intolerant, and stop backing ridiculous regional candidates who come out with extremely racist or homophobic statements. You can't dismiss such things as 'lies' when the Republicans themselves are acknowledging them and the harm they did to their campaign.

[Destinyforce]

The only link between your post and the thread topic is that you seem not to see the danger in accepting homophobia unchallenged. People here are posting about bigots turning their backs on friends, and yet you seem to think that the LGBT community is being closed-minded in its views of one of the biggest homophobes of the lot. Romney who would not only NOT be a friend to LGBT people in the first place, but he has stated in his campaign materials that he intends to severely limit our civil rights in very specific ways.


Obama is a Christian, and yet he isn't using religion to justify bigotry. Not so complicated if you don't want it to be.


What truth? In what way can't it be told? Sounds like a mysterious conspiracy theory but you haven't even explained the conspiracy.


Because "they" are clearly stupid. History gets re-written all the time. Its standard practice for conquerors and politicians. They even have a name for them - "revisionists (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historical_revisionism_%28negationism%29)".


Indeed - hence "Turkey voting for Christmas". You'll sing his praises even while he lets everyone else baste you with maple syrup.

You seem to be forgetting that this thread is about losing friends to homophobia. If you don't stand up for yourself and your own rights against homophobia don't expect anyone else to. To gamble your own rights and freedoms away on a candidate who the rest of the world (and your own people) have no faith in seems beyond foolish.


Oh please, if you are urging people to open their minds and think clearly I suggest you do so yourself first. There are plenty of horrible things said by Romney that are a matter of record and indeed part of their campaign. If you read independent articles (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-20245853) you'll see that their own strategists and party members have acknowledged they need to become less intolerant, and stop backing ridiculous regional candidates who come out with extremely racist or homophobic statements. You can't dismiss such things as 'lies' when the Republicans themselves are acknowledging them and the harm they did to their campaign.Document 18 Article 15 :(

[teen.jpg]

I guess I consider myself bi, and I would NEVER come out. What for? Straight people don't come out, why should we have to?

[HunterSteele]

I actually gained a friend once by coming out to them. Kinda. I never get tired of telling this story:

Two years ago (in grade 9) I saw this new kid at my school. His name was Bentley (it's not his real name.) He was blond and really cute and I thought it would be really nice to be friends with him. Now seeing as I've never had a friend before I could say that about almost half the school, but Bentley was especially so and I had a crush on him. But he had lots of cool friends and I thought he'd probably hate someone like me, so I never even bothered to try talking to him.

Fast forward a year later. I was in grade 10 at a different school, and I surprised myself by talking to some guys who knew Bentley, although I didn't know it at the time. We weren't really friends, but we had PE together and we'd sit together in the bleachers at the end of every class while we waited for the bell. I'll call them Dylan, Josh, and Trent (those aren't their real names either).

Later on that year Bentley added me on Facebook and I put together the puzzle pieces and realized he was friends with Dylan, Josh, and Trent. Then in March Bentley messaged me on Facebook. I was pretty intimidated since I didn't think I'd ever get to talk to him. and I wasn't sure what Trent and his friends had told him about me. I already had some preconceptions about what he'd probably think of me and I was pretty certain this wouldn't go well. But I went along with it.

Eventually he asked me if I was gay. The year before I had realized I was gay, and I told him the truth. He offered to be friends after that and apologized for calling me a faggot. That was the last thing I expected him to do, especially since the conversation didn't seem to be going to well until I told him. You have to see it to believe it:

Bentley
sup cock

Casey
hey

Bentley
whats goin on u rapist

Casey
nothin

Bentley
"OH watt about u Bentley?" oh noty much just talking to some leguito prick

Casey
well I was gonna ask but then I didn't

Bentley
oh welll arent u a dear

Casey
i know

Bentley
what are u feeling on Guy1 and Guy2?

Casey
i don't feel anything for them

Bentley
are u sure not even a hard cock?

Casey
no

Bentley
why not

Casey
am i supposed to?

Bentley
yes.

Casey
why?

Bentley
becuz

...

Casey
do you?

Bentley
no im not gay but u ARE!

u said u want the best of both world u faggot -- referencing something I said to Dylan, Josh, and Trent earlier on

Casey
but that doesn't mean I like every guy

Guy1 and Guy2 aren't the best of any world

Bentley
ahahaahahahahahhahahahahahahahha thats fucking hillarious

omg thats the funniest thing i ver heard

ya flamer

Casey
exactly

Bentley
ok serious question

Casey
ok

Bentley
are u gay?

Casey
i knew you were gonna ask that

Bentley
well are YA?

Casey
i guess so

Bentley
no way get right outta town

are u serious 8)

Casey
yes. i realized it around last year

Bentley
im sorry for calling u a faggot

Casey
it's alright

Bentley
-_-

friends?

Casey
sure

Bentley
:3

Casey
:)

Bentley
ya devil 3:)

Casey
what?

Bentley
nothing

:)

<3

Casey
ok

Bentley
soooooooooooooooooooooooooo

who do u like?

is he gay 2?

;)

Casey
i can't tell you that -- seeing how well things were going, I decided not to push my luck by telling him he was the one I liked

Bentley
is it a secret?>

Casey
yes

Bentley
:-*

im goood with secrets :-*

are u by?

bi*

Casey
i don't know

Bentley
that suks vag is awesome

ur gonna have to have anal all the time

boooooooo

Casey
i know

Bentley
g2g

byeeeeeee

-_-

Casey
cya

I went to bed after that. The first thing I did the next morning was go on Facebook to make sure the whole thing wasn't a dream. I've been meaning since then to call him sometime to hang out but I keep putting it off since this seems like such a precarious balance I could easily mess it all up.

So yes, technically I have one single friend, but since I'm too afraid of talking to him it doesn't count.

[Twilly F. Sniper]

In sorry did you just come out to everyone today?

I came out some time before that. It just spread to the not so good friends.

[Stone_Cold]

I've come out to a few people, but none of them really care that I'm bi(then again, these are my more open friends).

[Philleeep]

I lost my best friend because she was convinced it was a phase and then thought it would be funny to pretend to be bi and flirt with girls and lead them on