He's a lot older than me.

[thefear]

I've been with this guy now for quite a while. He's 7/8 years older than me, making him 22. Some may judge me, but, I love him. More than anything. He's the only person who I can talk to about anything. He's not only the person who I am in love with, but he just so happens to be my best friend. We're in a band together and we just have so much in common. He treats me better than anyone ever has and I don't know what I'd do without him. It's just, I've been getting little panic attacks recently whenever I think about our situation and what could happen if anyone found out and it's just stressing me out to the max where I've begun self harming again. I'm so confused.

[FreeFall]

Of course you think you're in love with him. You're a young teenage girl still going through puberty and full of happy hormones buzzing around during this change that have no where else to go but there.

You're self harming so clearly this isn't healthy and you know it.
What would happen if anyone found out?

Well, he'd be labeled as a sex offender for being involved with you. Do you know what happens to sex offenders? Their life gets at least 10 times harder, anyone with a kid will avoid the crap out of him, he'll have a hard ass time getting employment anywhere where children frequent. Family watch dog, it shows you where all the registered sex offenders live and people still use it, especially when a new guy moves in. Instant fear and coldness. He could/ probably will go to jail, that's never good for anyone.
And you're a minor, so your name will be safe, but pedophiles will see you as "open" to them and wonder if you'll give them a chance.

He's 22. Ever wonder what he sees in a 14 year old girl who's body still morphing versus his fellow aged women? You're a girl, he's a man. Either something's wrong with him in maturity, or he really doesn't care who he's with or what can happen to them.

If you two are so in "love", then he can wait until you're legal.

[Taryn98]

If you are harming yourself, you need to get professional help immediately!! Talk to a counselor at school or a doctor or someone that you can trust. Hurting yourself is never the answer.
Even though you love this person, this is probably not the right time/situation for either of you. The stage of life he is in is totally different than yours and what he is doing could harm you emotionally for a long time. I don't think this is healthy for you.
Getting through this will hurt but you need to stop this before something bad happens. He could go to jail. The longer you stay in this relationship the harder it will be to get out, but please find a professional that you can talk to in a safe place!

[abc_de]

why harming yourself? its not like you are going to solve anything from it..
i just love freefall's reply...

if he really loves you, then he probably shall wait for you..

[uberwhal3]

Yikes. Thats too big of an age difference..

[DerBear]

Yikes. Thats too big of an age difference..

This really isn't very helpful.....

I would have to say....its up to you entierly. Do what you think is right. However it is a big age gap and you only being 14 it could be problematic even in the eyes of your community.

However at the end of the day its your choice.

[Minzy]

I've been in a relationship like that, it worked quite well until I realized that I didn't really want to be in a relationship (especially with someone his age) when I went to university. Going out with an older guy is hard, you lose a lot of opportunities you would have if you dated someone your own age or were single.
Just make sure that he doesn't hurt you though; what if the person you see is only an illusion? He might not be the perfect guy you think.

[Stronk Serb]

Do not date him, if he really loves you, he can wait untill you are out of the statutory rape area were it is legal for you two to have sex (then there will be no charge pressed against him and no one can stop you two from dating). For now, do not date, stay friends, hang out. Want to lnow what happens to sex offenders in whose crimes minors were involved when they go to prison? They get beaten savagely, called names and harrased in other ways, do you want him to go through that and to have a harder time afterwards, like FreeFall said? I think your answer is no, so stay friends untill you can legally date and then possibly get into a relationship.

[FreeFall]

Want to lnow what happens to sex offenders in whose crimes minors were involved when they go to prison? They get beaten savagely, called names and harrased in other ways, do you want him to go through that and to have a harder time afterwards, like FreeFall said? I think your answer is no, so stay friends untill you can legally date and then possibly get into a relationship.
I completely forgot! Inmates may be crappy people, they may be innocent people, but hard toughened men still have their morals. My mother was a nurse in a prison for 3 years way before I was born. Unless things have changed dramatically;

These hard, tough, prison men always beat the shit out of those that harmed children. If they raped a child, they were brutally beaten. If they killed a child, they were brutally beaten. They won't care if you were consenting. If they find out he was jailed for being with you, and knowing better as an adult, as THE adult, they will beat the shit out of him, make him a prison bitch regardless, and his life will just be misery there, not that jail's ever fun but it won't help to have done anything bad with a child.
EDIT: it's a bit funny to think about. Men in prison are more concerned with your safety than the adult that can't even wait until you're of age to be with. Not only that, but the relationship's a terrible negative strain on you. Tell him this, see what he says. If he knows how much stress you're dealing with, he'll show you his true self. He'll either admonish you, he'll be indifferent or he'll understand and break it off and let you grow and breathe like a child is meant to. When he shows you his true self, go from there.

[dusman77]

I'm sorry but that's too big an age difference. I think you should wait til legal age to do anything so nothing bad happens.

[squibles976]

Personally I think your too young and he's too old