i am collapsing

[Castle of Glass]

finally i can write this.

from the time i joined VT i have appeared as a strong secure person, but in reality i am not. i have been crashing and collapsing for the last year. i am falling into a pit with no way out. it started when my grandmother was hospitalized. now she has passed away and has been buried. when she lost her ability to speak, think, and swallow i knew she was going to die. during her last days i was so low that i nearly cut my self. managed to stop myself, blade was already at my skin. but i am not sure if i hold it for much longer. the reasons i have been posting about cannabis is because it could be the safest way to get rid of this, but i know it is dangerous at this age. i don't know what to do. and before you say that it will pass, i know it won't. my grandmother was a second mother.

if you want the entire story of my depression, just ask me.

[KenobiGirl93]

Whoa, what about cannabis? :/
Have you sought help for the depression you're feeling? It's always worth your time, and you never know what might happen with you. If you want to talk about anything more specific, message me and I'll write back.

<3

[Castle of Glass]

just find a cannabis topic in the drugs section.

[Athlete15]

I don't think that drugs are the right way to dive into handling these problems. I'm not bashing the drug (I have no problems with it) but using drugs as a way to cope with depression is a slippery slope, especially since weed CAN (not always or even often) be a gateway drug. Grief counselors to help cope with loss are often a great way to go, but losing a loved one is a tough personal battle that takes time.

It always helps as well to have someone to talk too, and there are definitely plenty of people on this site, myself included, willing to listen. Hope things start to turn around for you!

[Sonic Boom]

Well, at least your grandma is now free of her pain and suffering. She may be physically gone, but all her lessons and memories survive within you :)

Often a traumatic event (such as your grandma passing away) can cause a chemical imbalance and hormone deficiencies, which trigger depression. Depression unfortunately tends to repel others (your friends), which makes one more depressed, and you end up caught in a depression cycle.

What I suggest you do is make an appointment with a psychiatrist to put you on appropriate medication to sort out your chemical imbalances. The next step would be to talk about your issues with others on here or a counsellor at school or whatever.

[Castle of Glass]

What I suggest you do is make an appointment with a psychiatrist to put you on appropriate medication to sort out your chemical imbalances. The next step would be to talk about your issues with others on here or a counsellor at school or whatever.
Yea, well, no thank you. all of those would result in my parents knowing about it. not the best idea.