Therapy

[nice]

I might be bi i don't know if I am yet but if I am I'm considering conversion therapy because I don't wanna lose anyone over if I like guys so I'm really scared and confused I just don't know what to do

Here is a link just in case you don't know what it is

http://search.yahoo.com/r/_ylt=A0oG7lauN4RQGzoAZHFx.9w4;_ylu=X3oDMTE1dWc4Z2lsBHNlYwNzcgRwb3MDMQRjb2xvA2FjM gR2dGlkA01PVVMyNV8xMDQ-/SIG=12a9j5mj1/EXP=1350871086/**http%3a//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cease_their_homosexuality

[Gazmo]

dont change who you are. if you are bi, then thats you and you should accept that, and so should your friends and familly. chances are its just a phase, man of my guy friends have gone through similar things and end up being straight in the end. eitherway, worrying about it is pointless becuase you shoud just be who you feel you are

[nice]

People don't get though I usually put my friends and families happiness before mine most of the time

[Noirtier]

I might be bi i don't know if I am yet but if I am I'm considering conversion therapy because I don't wanna lose anyone over if I like guys so I'm really scared and confused I just don't know what to do

Here is a link just in case you don't know what it is

http://search.yahoo.com/r/_ylt=A0oG7lauN4RQGzoAZHFx.9w4;_ylu=X3oDMTE1dWc4Z2lsBHNlYwNzcgRwb3MDMQRjb2xvA2FjM gR2dGlkA01PVVMyNV8xMDQ-/SIG=12a9j5mj1/EXP=1350871086/**http%3a//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cease_their_homosexuality

Hun, just listen to me for a minute. I recognize as well as anyone that being gay or bi or anything is a very scary thing when you first come upon it. This is a time when you're discovering yourself and who you are, and when you find out you're bi or gay, it's terrifying. I've been through it--when I finally accepted that I was gay, I was scared half to death. I didn't want to lose people, I didn't want to let people down, I didn't want to be gay. I had people there for me who helped me through it, though, and it's thanks to them that I can even accept it today. The first thing you need to know is you didn't choose to feel this way. It's nothing that is your fault. Then, if people don't like you because of who you like--then they never were people who loved you to begin with. It can hurt a lot. I know it can. But if you really are bi, you have to accept that about yourself before you can finally begin to move on. As hard as it is, just know that we are all here for you to support you. Another thing I would say is that, in all honesty, those things that "force you straight" don't work. I tried everything to make myself straight. And none of it worked. That's because this isn't something that you chose for yourself, or chose to feel. Please, I would ask you to reconsider even going to one of those places, and begin to accept yourself as you are.

[TigerBoy]

Ok I know we talked about this in PM but I just want to go on record here.

Conversion therapy is unscientific BULLSHIT that has been condemned by the professional associations of psychology in several countries including the UK and the US because it DOESN'T WORK and actually causes harm. They feel so strongly about it that they have struck off (http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2012/05/28/christian-gay-cure-therapist-loses-appeal/)therapists who have performed it. California has just legislated to outlaw it even.

The premise for this 'therapy' was some bad science that wasn't ever accepted by the American Psychological Association anyway and the author himself (Dr Robert Spitzer) has since withdrawn (http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2012/04/11/psychiatrist-requests-retraction-of-controversial-gay-cure-study/) on that basis, and apologised (http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2012/04/26/robert-spitzer-apologises-to-the-gay-community-for-ex-gay-study/)to the LGBT community for the fallout.

This 'therapy' is favoured by extremist Christians, who will go to extreme lengths in this matter including chemical castration (http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2012/09/05/sydney-christian-doctor-banned-for-prescribing-chemical-castration-gay-cure-to-teen/).

[nice]

I just read about chemical castration that's horrible and nasty if you think about.

[TigerBoy]

Yep the point is these people have an agenda to rid the world of all sexualities other than purely hetero however they can do it. Its nothing more than a more socially acceptable alternative to gassing us in concentration camps.

[nice]

The ones that normally think about it are some form of Christianity like me and do it so they don't lose their religion or faith

[TigerBoy]

The ones that normally think about it are some form of Christianity like me and do it so they don't lose their religion or faith

There are plenty of gay friendly Christian and Jewish churches and congregations, and your own may even be one of those for all I know. I was reading that Anne Hathaway (Dark Knight Rises) has a gay brother and her entire family changed church because their old (Catholic) one wouldn't accept him, so you aren't the only person to hit this.

Changing church isn't ideal but (unlike so-called 'conversion therapy') would actually achieve something useful: you'd be better off worshipping in a truly loving and accepting environment than a hypocritical one that as decided to hate the way God made you.

[SosbanFach]

I echo all that has been suggested above, and advise that you stay well clear of it. It is difficult accepting something like that–after all, it's always somebody else, isn't it–but none of that has been scientifically proven, or even has science on side at all. I've read some fairly terrifying stuff on it, and it can be quite seriously mentally damaging.

It can't change something like your sexuality, but simply guilt-trip you into burying your true feelings, make you feel that it's wrong, make you feel worthless, as though you chose it, and will go to hell. They have even been known to use methods bordering on torture, such as powerful electric shocks. You may feel guilty now, as though you've done something wrong (which you haven't) but you can overcome that–you need to overcome that to become happy. Hammering those feelings of guilt and wrong home cannot possibly help you, and is what this 'conversion therapy' nonsense does.

[nice]

Honestly if you guys hadn't talked me out of it there was no doubt in my mind I was gonna do it. And I knew about all the risk and stuff and still was gonna do it

[SosbanFach]

Honestly if you guys hadn't talked me out of it there was no doubt in my mind I was gonna do it. And I knew about all the risk and stuff and still was gonna do it

Well I hope you really have been talked out of it, because honestly putting yourself through hell like that is more than slightly detrimental to mental health, and will attempt to mute, rather than change your true sexuality. That is the way to depression, not happiness and content with one's self.

[nice]

I can honestly say now Im 75% sure I won't ever do it. But I don't think anyone gets it about how much I wanted to change even if it meant it was gonna be like torture, how much I just wanted to be like most people and have a normal life.

[TigerBoy]

Honestly if you guys hadn't talked me out of it there was no doubt in my mind I was gonna do it.

Well thank goodness. It most likely would have fucked you up for the rest of your life.

Even their own key people are abandoning the Christian movements for this 'therapy' as they realise it is crap :
Exodus president Alan Chambers speaking at the group’s annual meeting said homosexuality cannot be “cured” and that people can be damaged by therapy designed to turn them heterosexual. See the article in New York Times. (http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/07/us/a-leaders-renunciation-of-ex-ga)

[Pierce]

Thank god you didn't go through with it. IOve seen people that went through it. They are hollow shells of people. They are not themselves its like their true souls have been ripped apart from them or pushed down so deep inside of themselves. Im so glad you didn't do that. Please anyone reading this never even consider conversion therapy. Its Insane and it should be illegal its horrible and ruins great people and takes away true hapiness and enjoyment in life.

[Pierce]

send me a message on my profile some time i know what our egoing through. I went through it in m darkest times of my still going depression. Its nto as bad though but i've been there before. Also sorry for bad spelling and grammar.

[Abyssal Echo]

dont change who you are. if you are bi, then thats you and you should accept that, and so should your friends and familly. chances are its just a phase, man of my guy friends have gone through similar things and end up being straight in the end. eitherway, worrying about it is pointless becuase you shoud just be who you feel you are

I agree with Gazmo

[MartyG]

Tons of good advice here for you nice.....

Please Please Please don't buy into the religious preachings that circulate about conversion therapy. It's horrible, mis-guided and scientifically flawed.

Knowledge is power.....educate yourself and you will be fine.

Things will get better. I've been there and I know. Hang in there and sort things out.

MartyG

[nikkiewebb]

hey, im gay, and all of my straight friends continued to be my friend after i told them. keep being you. if your friends dont like you because you are bi, then they are not your friends.