that94guy
October 21st, 2012, 09:46 AM
Hello guys, I think I need some help.
I am a guy, and I am 17. Firstly, I might be gay. It's been about 9 months since I discovered that I'm attracted to guys. Ever since, I was never comfortable with it and since then I got depressed of that. And I started to analyse everything about myself and about other guys. I tried a lot to change myself to be like them, I tried to change the mannerisms which I think are girly, tried to be independence... I lost my friends, had homosexual OCD, don't mind communicating with anyone anymore, have social anxiety, I became a very insecure person, I always thinking a lot... to a point where I can't hold this anymore. And along with that there were always depressions. It's been 9 months. Now I am totally regret. Yesterday I started to feel something very strange inside me, I feel that I can't even make a decision to very simple things in my daily life. I doubt everything I do, everything I'm about to say, every thought I have, I feel that my head is always wander somewhere and has random thoughts and it makes me can't really focus on anything. For the whole day today still that thinking is going on and I've been having the scareness that I might have some psychological problems or something, and someday I will turn mad... What's wrong with me? Now I understand that I will give up all the shit about trying to be straight... But you guys have any ideas?
Thank you.
(Sorry I can only express what I want to say in English badly.)
I am a guy, and I am 17. Firstly, I might be gay. It's been about 9 months since I discovered that I'm attracted to guys. Ever since, I was never comfortable with it and since then I got depressed of that. And I started to analyse everything about myself and about other guys. I tried a lot to change myself to be like them, I tried to change the mannerisms which I think are girly, tried to be independence... I lost my friends, had homosexual OCD, don't mind communicating with anyone anymore, have social anxiety, I became a very insecure person, I always thinking a lot... to a point where I can't hold this anymore. And along with that there were always depressions. It's been 9 months. Now I am totally regret. Yesterday I started to feel something very strange inside me, I feel that I can't even make a decision to very simple things in my daily life. I doubt everything I do, everything I'm about to say, every thought I have, I feel that my head is always wander somewhere and has random thoughts and it makes me can't really focus on anything. For the whole day today still that thinking is going on and I've been having the scareness that I might have some psychological problems or something, and someday I will turn mad... What's wrong with me? Now I understand that I will give up all the shit about trying to be straight... But you guys have any ideas?
Thank you.
(Sorry I can only express what I want to say in English badly.)