yup, so.. yeah~

[Sleepy Raisin]

Okay so these are some pieces i've been working on, its a little sketchy cuz i used a mechanical pencil.. also picture quality is lame cuz the only camera i have is my phone, and i have no scanner.. so... Constructive criticism is welcome!! ~Thanks in advance!

Queen of Smoke:
http://liquidmail.deviantart.com/#/d5i1dsr
http://liquidmail.deviantart.com/#/d5i1dg4
http://liquidmail.deviantart.com/#/d5i1cty

Losing Honor:
http://liquidmail.deviantart.com/#/d5i1e2v

and i had to use links cuz pics werent showing..

[ackmedsgirl666]

ummm i would say nice but i dont see anything???
umm did u forget to upload?

[Sleepy Raisin]

ummm i would say nice but i dont see anything???
umm did u forget to upload?

sorry! i dont know why but the pictures werent showing.. but i fixed it.. in a way.... haha sorry......

[ackmedsgirl666]

there we go...
and if you want to make things easier upload using the site called tiny pics
here are the pics on how to do that...

http://i49.tinypic.com/2ivxls9.png
http://i50.tinypic.com/av067p.png

[Mortal Coil]

They're really cool! I especially like the third one :D

[darkwoon]

Constructive criticism, mmm... I'll try!

A general remark: mechanical pencils don't make drawings look sketchy - it all depends on what you do with them. And the eraser, of course ;)

Queen of Smoke

I've noticed that the greyed areas were very unevenly filled. I don't think it works well. Fill using a cross-hatch pattern, and try to get it as smooth as possible. The paper grain can be apparent (especially with heavy grain), but pencil lines cannot, unless they serve to underline the shapes.

There are many "noise" lines on her legs that don't seem to serve any purpose. Some eraser cleanup would work well there. Same on her abdomen.

I notice that many areas lack shading. Check for example her legs (again!) or her chest. I'd suggest studying the lightning on a real model picture in a similar pose, so you get a better grasp on where to place the shading.

I'm not sure about the positioning of the facial features. The mouth seems too low and the jaw too thin. There is also a discrepancy between the angle of the visage and the one of the mouth (the mouth "looks" more to the left than the jaw, so to speak). The distance between the tip of the nose and the eye is too big - I'd lower the eye a bit. The current position probably causes you trouble placing the second eye with a result that looks natural.

The shape of her chest I'm not convinced with. As with shading, use real people pictures to get it right. The shape of the boob on the left is too round, and its curve is 'broken' on its underside. The jacket also don't seem to follow the chest shape at all.

The current smoke effect is IMHO not looking like smoke, but more like fire. A good way to render smoke is to blend/smudge graphite with a tissue, an ear cleaner stick or any other kind of soft blending material, applied in small circles.

What strikes me the most with the picture is the overall lack of consistent figure. Elements seem out of proportion with each other, and don't seem to be part of a single entity. My feeling is this is because an underlying figure sketch was either wrong or missing. Details of the mouth or the eye show that you have unquestionable technical skills, but the lack of a "director scheme" didn't allow you to put those to your advantage.

My advice: use that sketch as a design model, and redraw, this time using a (better) underlying skeleton and light study. This is an interesting design that deserves more work, IMHO.

Losing Honor

What strikes me here is that the banner around the head appears flat on the face. The skull is a sort of sphere with lots of bumps and holes, so those should show, at least partly, on the banner. This is particularly the case at both sides of the head: the banner shading should change to mark the sphericity of the surface it encircles. I'd say the same about the hair: not enough light/dark gradient to show the form of the skull.

My advice: take a picture of your own face with a strong lightning of one side vs a strong darkness of the other (a flash on a side or a spotlight in a dark room are good ways to get that result). This will greatly help you getting the location of main areas of shading, and adapt your drawing accordingly. Turning some paper band around your eyes as in the picture can also be a great reference.

Hopefully, this was of some help for you!

[Avenged]

I love losing honor!