Don't know what to do

[dont]

I started about 3 months ago i slip in and out of depression.. when i'm with friends i'm normal i forget about things i can act happy.. i go home i just sit and cry for hours and i dont know why.. When i go to sleep at night i dread what is going to happen tomorrow, i dread what im going to do to myself.. if someone says something to get at me i go along with it and laugh it off until im home then my arm takes a beating.. one of my friends found out i did it and they just call me stupid for it.. how can i expect her to understand though if i don't myself. I have suicidal thoughts all the time.. the only time i'm happy is when im drunk or high... I have lost the will to live and the only thing that makes me feel better is SH.. i am so scared of the future :(

[MartyG]

Hi Andy....and Welcome to the Forum.

I hope you can make friends here. Lots of times people don't have anything magical to say...but I hope that just knowing that there are people here that will listen will help you a little anyway.

You are acknowledging the situation and are asking for help. You are already half-way there because of that.

If you want....tell us more about your situation. Are you living at home and have a supportive family?

A Long tight Hug to you ....

MartyG

[Desuetude]

As said above the fact that you've come so far as to actually seek help is the first step and almost always the hardest one.

I'd encourage you to seek someone you can properly speak to without them judging you or making fun. Have you got someone at school like a guidance counselor or youth worker? A parent that will understand or maybe a drop in centre near you? You could look up places that might be good for that type of talking, I'm sure you'll find something.

Talking to someone that isn't going to give you shit for what you're doing but is actually going to listen and try and help you sort out what's wrong is a good feeling. Like a massive weight off your shoulders. Even people online, people like us can be of some help. If you need to rant or get some advice you can post a thread here and people will reply and try and help you as best we can.

[MartyG]

C'mon DONT....

A couple of people responded to you; how about a reply to let us know that you're there and OK at the moment?

You took that first step....people want to help.....

Please?

[OceanBlue]

I am exactly like you. When I am with people I somehow forget whats wrong with me and I in a way pretend that I am happy, but when I am at home I just feel so alone and I dont knwo what to do. I'm trying so hard not to go back and start harming myself. It's tough. You are not alone though. I know that for a fact. We are somehow going to get through this.