Megan7526
October 14th, 2012, 04:38 PM
Well hiya everyone! I heard from a long line of people that this was a good site to talk to people going through similar issues as myself. So im basically trying to meet new people and maybe learn a thing or two. Well i guess ill tell you guys everything ive been through that led me here. Growing up i was the shy and eccentric person you never really paid attention to. I had a friends, i was liked for the most part, just very shy. When i was 13 i got my first boyfriend. Me, my best friend at the time, her friend that i hadnt met, and my boyfriend all decided to go to the mall that coming weekend. I went to the restroom for a moment and came back to find my best friend and boyfriend kissing in the food court. I walked past them and decided i was going to walk home (being my best friend was my ride home). I went through the back entrance of the mall, and sat down on one of the benchs for a few minutes to collect myself. On the bench across from me were three older guys, defenitly in highschool though. They were looking at me and then laughing. I thought Why would they be laughing at me? i was just being paranoid. So i got up and started walking and then the boys got up and cornered me in, harassing me. I told them i had to get home and i tried to walk past them and one of them grabbed my hair and pulled me to the ground. Long story short i was jumped and raped that night...I didnt tell anyone at first, i was afraid to. Afraid that they would think i was lying for attention or something, so i kept it to myself. I never went out anymore, my grades slipped really bad, i was constantly feared anyone touching me. From a simple hug or handshake, it made me uncomfertable. I finally told my parents 6 months after it happened once they started asking questions. I told them i was jumped and i could tell they were hurt... i couldnt bring myself to tell them the rest, they asked me if anything else had happend over and over again. They said if anything else happened it was okay they could help, but i just couldnt break their hearts like that. so i said no. When i turned 15 i started drinking a lot, popping pills, smoking marjuana, and sleeping around. I had reached the point where i didnt care anymore, i had hit rock bottom. I was in school and i became really close with someone i had known since i was 6 years old, he became my bestfriend and he helped me find myself. I was back on my feet for the first time in 2 years. I was doing better in school, i quit all those horrible habbits, and now had morals and beliefs for myself. I even got a new boyfriend, we were together for 7 months, i loved him dearly and i knew he loved me just as much, but we broke up because he was cheating on me the whole time with his ex. I stopped dating for awhile after that. I forgave him and we are still really good friends. I dated a few other people later on. Im almost 18 now, and i met someone about a month ago who changed me completely. I dont know what it is about him, but i know he is supposed to be in my life for some reason. Well a few weeks ago me and my friend sara got invited to go to another friends house to have a few drinks and hang out. I had gotten my drinking under control and sara gave me a limit of two drinks, just enough to relax and have fun, not enough to be completely intoxicated. One of the guys there was making my drinks for me, and put tons of hydros in both of my drinks and then kept handing me more spiked drinks. I dont remember what happened except what sara had told me. She called the guy who i really liked and met a month ago, and he drove over an hour to come pick me and her up, he took me to his house and took care of me that night to make sure i didnt need to go to the hospital, luckily i didnt. I feel like i cant trust anyone anymore no matter where i go, i feel like someones going to try and hurt me or use me. As soon as i started getting better from the first incodent a second incodent takes place, i feel like im back where i started. Some days are worse than others, but i dont know what to do anymore.