Is it okay to blame suicide?

[Noxail]

I was reading and posting in another section of the forum, and read about a boy who committed suicide and blamed his ex girlfriend. She went into hysterics and tried to kill herself multiple times. She was sent away, I asume to a pshyicatric ward. Basically, in your own opinion, do you think it's alright to lay blame for a suicide on another via suicide note, or do you feel like the victim doesn't have the right to make others feel this way?

I think that if someone is going through enough pain to commit suicide, they deserve to express the way they feel, and who they think is responsible, without judgement. ~holli

[PurpleReign]

Touchy subject, but someone who commits suicide is obviously not well, not thinking clearly, sick, however you want to put it. I think suicide notes with an accusatory tone should be taken with a grain of salt. They certainly have the right to blame someone if they choose, but I don't think someone close to the person who commits suicide should take it too hard if they are blamed for it. Obviously every situation is different, so nobody can ever really know what is going on behind closed doors.

[Manjusri]

Yes and no.

I don't like it when people place the blame of them actually taking their own life on someone else. Why? Because ultimately when it comes to suicide, it's your choice. Someone may be able to drive you into depression and all of the emotions related to suicide, however, they can't actually make it so that your only option is suicide.

Committing suicide is your own decision, blaming it on another person isn't right.

[Mortal Coil]

Very rarely is it true that one person is solely responsible for another's suicide, but I agree that if you are about to take your own life then you should be free to express whatever you honestly believe.

[West Coast Sheriff]

If I were to commit suicide it would be all the fault of a girl named Morgan who I go to school with and am also in love with. Of course I don't plan on killing myself over her. But even though it would be all her fault I just couldnt let her feel blame for herself. She doesn't deserve to have it on her conscience.

[Cicero]

I think it's a yes and no, but as others have said, it's not just one persona fault. From my view its an accumulation of grief in ones life that results in suicide. If someone blamed me for there suicide, I would think I was part of the reason but not the full reason. Maybe blaming another person for there suicide could be considered bullying? Because it causes the other one grief beyond repair, and can cause them to kill themselves
(as the article had said).

[West Coast Sheriff]

In my case it would be just one person fault.

[StoppingTime]

Nobody forces you to do anything, especially not suicide. They may be pushing you towards that "option" but I doubt that it was their intention. And usually, when you hear the "teen committed suicide for reason X" the one "responsible" may not have known anything, because there was improper communication.

So no, it's one person's fault, the one who commits the act. Could people "influence" your decisions? I suppose, but they're still yours.

[West Coast Sheriff]

Nobody forces you to do anything, especially not suicide. They may be pushing you towards that "option" but I doubt that it was their intention. And usually, when you hear the "teen committed suicide for reason X" the one "responsible" may not have known anything, because there was improper communication.

So no, it's one person's fault, the one who commits the act. Could people "influence" your decisions? I suppose, but they're still yours.

I agree. That was perfect wording there Steven. I don't think you can blame someone for suicide, unless it's yourself. Difference between homicide and suicide. Suicide it the victims choice. Maybe they can blame another individual or multiple situations, if it's note just one, for depression, but suicide:NO. That was there choice and are the only one who can be blamed for it.

[StoppingTime]

To add on:

That is, of course, assuming that the one thinking about committing suicide is in a "healthy" mind. Of course, anyone with those thoughts don't have a "healthy" or whatever you want to call it, mind, compared to most others, but, it depends on the severity of this, as well.

[Sudds3]

Well I have thoughts about how nice it would be to just kill myself sometimes, then I think about what I would put in my note. I would probably blame someone, but I don't think that they should take it too seriously because whenever I think about that, or anyone who will commit suicide. Isn't really thinking clearly, so they just want to blame someone else and take the selfish and easy way out, no offense to anyone who has personally known someone who has. If so, I am terribly sorry for your loss and if you ever need to talk about anything just PM me!

-Adam

[MartyG]

Lets hope that none of us ever have to deal with a loved one committing suicide. It places a terrible burden on one's friends....even though it can be assumed that the suicidal person was emotionally disturbed to the point that no rational person would agree that the blame was legitimate.

Rational or not....it hurts beyond belief to know that someone has said that.

[Syvelocin]

Yeah, I have mixed feelings as well. I feel like they have every right to say what they want in their suicide note but the blame doesn't belong to that person. Sometimes I wish people would think about other people before they do and say extreme things. The people who are semi-decent yet decide to bully a depressed kid will be like "Gosh, I didn't know he'd kill himself." The fuck. How did you not expect making his life hell would affect him? But the suicide itself does not rest upon the shoulders of the person who is the source of the feelings.

[FreeFall]

You're clearly speaking about my friend whom I posted about. Obviously, I fucking hate that douchebag and I hope he's rotting for eternity for what he's done, that damn scumbag.

She was a good girlfriend to him, he was a shitty and controlling boy. He tried to control how she dressed, tried to take her phone many times, tried to even drive us, her friends, away. I'm going to assume that when she dumped him, he couldn't handle it.
Was he in pain? I doubt it, certainly not in a healthy state of mind, but it's nothing to the extent of what he's caused her even in death.

She's in a psyche ward yes, she'll have to live with this for the rest of her life. Knowing she's blamed for suicide. Knowing someone's killed themselves to drag her down with them in their own sick way. She's a weak person in many ways and this has just destroyed her.

I fucking hope she can one day get back into a better place and be free of the filth and joy he robbed from her.

[Human]

If there is a real reason then yes. If someone was bullied to suicide, he has the right to tell them who at least made him do it.

[Noxail]

You're clearly speaking about my friend whom I posted about. Obviously, I fucking hate that douchebag and I hope he's rotting for eternity for what he's done, that damn scumbag.

She was a good girlfriend to him, he was a shitty and controlling boy. He tried to control how she dressed, tried to take her phone many times, tried to even drive us, her friends, away. I'm going to assume that when she dumped him, he couldn't handle it.
Was he in pain? I doubt it, certainly not in a healthy state of mind, but it's nothing to the extent of what he's caused her even in death.

She's in a psyche ward yes, she'll have to live with this for the rest of her life. Knowing she's blamed for suicide. Knowing someone's killed themselves to drag her down with them in their own sick way. She's a weak person in many ways and this has just destroyed her.

I fucking hope she can one day get back into a better place and be free of the filth and joy he robbed from her.

Why yes, I was talking about your post, and I honestly didn't mean to anger you. I just find it odd to hate someone so much for something you may not understand. I can totally see your point of view, and it's perfectly justified, however, I don't know the full story, and I asume you don't either. It's hard to honestly tell what someone is feeling, and there is a lot of logical explinations for why he did this, and acted the way he did. Someone may seem simple and selfish, and may seem totally ignorant, but it's almost impossible to know when somneone is a wonderful actor or a douchebag. I just wanted to argue both sides of the situation, and I didn't mean to offend you at all. If you'd like me to have the thread locked, I'd be more than happy to PM a mod and ask them to lock it, just let me know. ~holli

(I'm sorry for what you and your friend are going through, but I hope that boy finds peace. It's horribly rude to deduct that someone isn't feeling pain inside, and so my heart goes out to both sides of the story.)

[ArsenicCatNip]

I would say no. No one can force you to kill yourself, that's just seems like people who can't deal with the harsh reality of life. People will always do things not in your favor, or down right hurtful towards you, but the best thing to do is to seek help or realize break ups and bullying happen all the time. I can only assume they didn't look for help if their first action was to kill themselves.

[FreeFall]

Why yes, I was talking about your post, and I honestly didn't mean to anger you. I just find it odd to hate someone so much for something you may not understand. I can totally see your point of view, and it's perfectly justified, however, I don't know the full story, and I asume you don't either. It's hard to honestly tell what someone is feeling, and there is a lot of logical explinations for why he did this, and acted the way he did. Someone may seem simple and selfish, and may seem totally ignorant, but it's almost impossible to know when somneone is a wonderful actor or a douchebag. I just wanted to argue both sides of the situation, and I didn't mean to offend you at all. If you'd like me to have the thread locked, I'd be more than happy to PM a mod and ask them to lock it, just let me know. ~holli

(I'm sorry for what you and your friend are going through, but I hope that boy finds peace. It's horribly rude to deduct that someone isn't feeling pain inside, and so my heart goes out to both sides of the story.)
You're justified in arguing both sides. I'm sure this topic would've come to you whether I posted about my friend or not, it's just a coincidence for the timing and such, if not her story it would've been someone else's that possibly inspired you, or time on its own.

I can promise you though, on my life, that this boy was not feeling anything close to sorrow or pain when she ended their relationship. I sincerely promise you it was full on rage with him thinking "how can I make her pay". It was a cycle, he always had to one up her and drag her down as he pleased, he was that type of guy from the first day we all met him years ago even before he began dating the friend, and now he's done it in the most ultimate way. I promise you, there wasn't a single though of pain in his heart, except hurting her.

I'm not angry or offended at you, just the situation and some other comments both here and real life. None of us are sure what to do right now, it's just all the situation.

So debate away, don't worry about me (:

[Ute Man]

You can't blame it on anything. There is no reason, especially if you live In a first world country. Most of it comes from first world country. That's not right, you have all this stuff and you do it because you wish you had more.

[Agent 47]

i rekon the only blame shoud go to bullys